Your Body Your Sensuality

What’s the Lubricant 411?

2010-04-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Pure Romance has been taking part in Empowerment Summits throughout the country training and empowering our Consultants to take their businesses to the next level.

During this all day training I get the opportunity to do what I love to do: educate our Consultants about Pure Romance’s products. This past Empowerment Summit I attended, some of the Consultants raised very important questions they receive from their customers regarding our lubricants.

Below are some of those questions and answers which I will hope shed some light on this must-have product.

Q: What is the difference from a Pure Romance lubricant and a lubricant that I can buy at the grocery store?

A: The first major difference between a Pure Romance lubricant and one that you can buy at the grocery store is the privacy you receive when purchasing our products. You don’t run the risk of running into your boss or one of your children’s teachers when you are purchasing a Pure Romance lubricant. The second difference is the quality of our lubricants. I make sure that Pure Romance lubricants are of the highest quality.

The lubricants sold in grocery and drug stores have a high concentration of ingredients that can often irritate the skin over time. Pure Romance has the lowest amount of these ingredients. We formulate our lubricants for all women, even those who are highly sensitive.

Q: If a customer has sensitive skin but wants to try a flavored lubricant what should I tell her?

A: We carry two different types of lubricants: our every day lubricants and our playful lubricants. Our every day lubricants are gentle and formulated for women who are sensitive.

I would advise a woman who has sensitive skin to stick with an every day lubricant. If she wants to try a playful lubricant, I would advise her to place a pea size amount on the inside of her elbow before bed. If she wakes up rash free then she should be okay to experiment with the playful lubricant during intimate activities.

Q: Do lubricants affect a woman’s fertility?

A: Lubricants do not “kill” sperm, or else they would be listed as a form of contraception. However, lubricants can decrease the concentration and mobility of sperm in the vagina, but this does not pose a problem for women who aren’t experiencing fertility issues.

Lubrication can make intercourse more enjoyable, which may increase the frequency of times you try to conceive, which can indirectly increase the likelihood of conception.

To learn more about the lubricants we offer, go to the Lubricant section of the PureRomance.com website.

What is a Vaginal Moisturizer?

2010-04-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

When was the last time someone told you to hydrate your vagina? Don’t worry about reaching for your reading glasses. You read it right. I would venture to guess it wasn’t any time very recent (if at all!). The truth is no one ever talks to us about it.

Think about it: every woman out there at some time or another has had someone remind them of the importance of taking care of their skin. After all, how many of us have been walking in the mall when someone at a kiosk shouts out, “What moisturizers do you use on your face?” or “Do you want to know how to look 10 years younger?” Not surprising questions considering that many women do use special facial creams and regiments to ensure that their skin is hydrated and in good health. Yet, what people don’t realize is that every part of your party ages and goes through different types of changes and stress. Why should your vagina be any different?

Have you ever lied in bed one night while being intimate with a partner and felt like your mind was there but your body was not? What people don’t realize is that there are so many causes for vaginal dryness including childbirth, menopause, medications, etc. – common occurrences in everyday life. It’s so important not to confuse lubricants with vaginal moisturizers as a way to treat this.

Pure Romance’s Fresh Start is a wonderful product that can help counteract vaginal dryness. It is an estrogen-free vaginal moisturizer, making it great for all women, including those women who cannot or do not want to use hormone replacements. It is gentle and non-irritating and helps alleviate vaginal dryness, as well as the discomfort that accompanies this condition.

It is common for women of all ages to experience vaginal dryness at some point in their life, or even within their menstrual cycle. Vaginal dryness is most common among women going through menopause, due to the decrease in estrogen that occurs at this time. Estimates vary, but as many 40% of menopausal women may experience vaginal dryness.

To use Fresh Start, fill one of the included applicators with the vaginal moisturizer and insert into the vagina, applying the liquid as far into the vaginal canal as possible. The best time to use Fresh Start is before bedtime, allowing the product ample time to absorb into the vaginal tissues. Many women find it helpful to use the product everyday for a week to 10 days, until the start to see their symptoms decrease. After that time, women can use the product two to three times a week as part of a maintenance program, to keep their vaginal tissues moisturized and prevent vaginal dryness.

So next time a girlfriend asks you what you’ve done lately to take care of your face or skin, maybe you should ask them what they’ve done to hydrate their vagina! You may get a surprised look, but you’ll be doing your part to educate someone on this very important issue!

Cheating Hearts

2010-04-15T12:50:00.000-07:00

The latest media hype surrounding Sandra Bullock and Jesse James came soon after the world-wide notorious Tiger Woods multi-mistresses scandal. Needless to say, infidelity has now become an even hotter topic in our society today. When it comes to how the couple should pick up the pieces, everyone has opinions on who’s right or wrong.

However, I truly believe no one has the real answer except the two people in the relationship. What might be right for one couple might not be for another – and as easy as it is to be judgmental – unless you’re living under their roof, it’s just not our place to pass judgment.

I do believe that if people would address their feelings of unhappiness, outside crushes, wandering eyes, etc., before they acted on them it could make such a considerable difference. More often than not, I don’t think these things just happen. Distractions and temptations always arise at some point or another in committed relationships, and the best thing a person can do is redirect that energy toward the relationship.

Find out what isn’t working and why you are feeling like you want to stray from the relationship and (if you truly love your partner) then do everything in your power to nip it in the bud as soon as possible and before the damage is done.

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of marriages survive infidelity and find a way to recover; but there are also many that do not. What they can take away from it in either case is an important lesson learned. If they do decide to work it out, both parties have to put in the time and effort and it will take a great deal of pain and work (often times accompanied by outside professional help) to get back to a place of trust.

For those who assumed that Tiger would just bounce back and come home to a happy, healthy life (and bed of roses) is not very realistic. Even following years of earning back trust, after a betrayal it’s sometimes impossible to get back to the way things were before the indiscretion.

Nowadays there are far more “I Dos” than there are people taking these vows quite as seriously. It would be wonderful to see more classes and workshops to prepare couples before they even tie the knot – to show some of the challenges that may arise and how to remain truly committed.

So many people enter into a marriage never knowing what it’s like to have a spouse lose their job, to sit up all night with a sick child, or discuss how religion will play a part in their children’s lives, and even how they want to pay their bills.

Everyone handles pressure differently, and perhaps cementing that bond and strengthening communication before either partner strays will help keep the focus where it should be – on the marriage or relationship itself.

Couples Retreat

2010-04-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

After a busy month, I wanted to find a movie to kick back and relax. Making my way down the DVD aisle, I saw the latest Vince Vaughn movie, Couples Retreat and threw it in my cart because he never fails to make me laugh! At the time, I had no idea that I would learn something from this comedy or even find the message as important as to include in my next blog. But here, we are!

If you haven’t seen it yet, I would even recommend you watch it two or three times because each time you will probably pick up on something else and really learn a lot about relationships and how we operate. With four different couples at the center of the film, any couple can probably find themselves in at least one presented in the movie. Although a light-hearted comedy, their issues are very real issues that plague many of us at some point in our lives.

Below are some significant messages that resonated with me and represented many of the concerns we see every day at Pure Romance. (I have to warn you before you read on, however, if you haven’t seen it yet: Spoiler Alert!)

Dave & Ronnie: One look at Dave and Ronnie and you would think they were the perfect couple. Like many pairings out there, things appeared all in working order, not only to the outside world, but even to each other. Yet, as the story unfolded, you began to see that there would have more than likely been trouble for them down the road.

There were so many opportunities for them to grow as a couple on a whole another level. Their relationship showed that people can always benefit from taking the time to give back, and no matter how perfect things may seem there’s always room for improvement.

Jason & Cynthia: Jason and Cynthia’s issue really hit home with me. They shared everything in common and had fallen deeply in love, but efforts to conceive had interfered with everyday romance and they found that they began to lose that spark.

This is such an under-addressed issue in relationships today which is why my 501c3 non-profit, The Patty Brisben Foundation for Women’s Sexual Health is currently funding research with the University Of Cincinnati School Of Medicine, Department Of Obstetrics and Gynecology regarding intimacy issues related to infertility. In this case, this couple chooses to work on rediscovering this spark through the Couples Retreat; they show that if you stay focused and are both committed to doing whatever it takes to make things work, you can get back to that place with one another you never thought was possible.

Shane, Trudy & Jennifer: Shane and Trudy comprise the classic rebound scenario. Like I’ve said in many blogs past, sometimes it’s best to take time to heal and resolve emotional baggage before jumping into a new relationship. Even when you think it’s just for fun.

Buying a motorcycle and running around with a girl half his age (who he admittedly cannot keep up with) are two ways he tries to distract himself from the fact that he is still in love from his newly separated wife, Jennifer. He wasn’t facing his issues head on, but when the smoke cleared, he came to terms with his feelings for his wife and where he truly wanted to be.

Joey & Lucie: Joey and Lucie were High School Sweethearts who got pregnant on Prom night. 18 years later, they had both strayed from their marriage and were counting the days until their daughter was of age so they could divorce. I can’t tell you how many times I see couples who stay together because of the kids and then split as soon as they are grown and out of the house. Although this is a noble commitment, sometimes the best present you can give to your children is having them see both of you working on your relationship and living happily together.

How many years had they wasted not committing to do the work it takes to have a healthy relationship and just co-existing for their daughter? Where did they go wrong? For one, they weren’t communicating and had given up on their marriage and the passion that once brought them together. They failed to grow together and as a result grew apart. Do couples sometimes grow too far apart to return to where they once were? It happens. However, in this case, they were still very much in love but just needed to make the decision to really talk to one another – opening up about whom they were and how they felt as the people they had grown into today.

Overcoming the 1st Time Toy Jitters

2010-03-10T07:19:00.000-08:00

Many people are surprised to discover that when I started as a Consultant over 25 years ago that I was a single mother of four who had never even owned a bedroom toy. The only experience I had with a lubricant was at my Gynecologist’s office during annual exams and that doesn’t necessarily put you in the mood!

It’s so common for people to be uncomfortable when it comes to learning about or trying bedroom accessories for the first time. During our Valentine’s Day Warehouse Sale last week, I was able to get the once-a-year opportunity to work with the public directly again and it really makes me laugh quietly to myself – mainly because I remember myself taking the journey from not knowing a single thing about intimacy products to becoming much more familiar about how they can help in relationships.

There are so many people who still carry many fears when it comes to toys; one in particular that was very common at the Pure Romance Sale was men who feared that a toy would replace them. They can be very intimidating with all the bells and whistles and it may seem hard to compete with a ‘Bionic Man’. Not to mention, like the Energizer Bunny they keep going, going and going and the only time they usually give out is when the batteries finally die! However, there is absolutely no truth in this. A bedroom toy can never replace the satisfaction and intimacy one can gain from human touch.

They can be great tools to help a woman learn more about her body (especially clitoral vibrators, since studies show that up to 75% of women can only climax from clitoral stimulation). Other products like the Pulsa Bath Ball are discreet and unintimidating and offer the dual purpose of an exfoliating bath sponge and a sensual all-over massage

Bedroom accessories can also be a wonderful aid in leveling the playing field between men and women – after all, like I’ve always said, women are like crock-pots and men are like microwaves – sometimes women need a little help catching up with men. Or, in the case of Erectile Dysfunction, for example, there are stimulators that can help the man become more aroused and C-rings and lubricants that can help him to stay erect and meet his partner half way. Additionally, as I mentioned in a recent blog, toys can also help a partner going through a grieving process (whether it be break-up, divorce, or death) to keep from jumping into a faulty relationship out of loneliness.

Another question we received from 1st time toy users was a frequently asked question from women on how to incorporate a toy into the bedroom. One of my favorite suggestions helps alleviate a lot of nervousness and incorporates some foreplay in the process. Using a vaginal vibrator in the Super Deluxe Mitten, such as the Velvet Touch, will enhance the massage for you or your partner and is a great segue into the conversation regarding vibration during lovemaking or stimulation, in general.

Whatever you decide, there is a wide selection of products that can bring a great deal of enhancement to any relationship!

Written by Patty Brisben the Owner of Pure Romance

Accepting the “Odd Couple”

2010-03-10T07:15:00.000-08:00

How many times have you been in a mall or the grocery store and saw a couple affectionately strolling along, yet wondered, “How in the world did those two get together??” It may be your May-December romance or just your everyday Odd Couple, but whatever the case there’s usually some bystander looking on with a creased forehead and a raised eyebrow.

I just got to thinking about this after the recent hoopla surrounding this past season of ABC’s The Bachelor. There aren’t many people who have missed the media circus around Jake Pavelka and his fiancée Vienna Girardi with many people passing judgment on whether he chose the right girl or if it is even for real.

Although Reality Television is seldom real, it does raise one important point when it comes to love and romance, and that is who are we to judge the unique chemistry that drives two people to fall in love or even lust, for that matter? One thing that struck me while I was watching the Bachelor finale post show was when Tinley asked why if he loved her he felt something was missing. His response was that “there just wasn’t that spark”.

When it comes to intimate relationships we know often know our partners in a way that is so different from any other person. There is no way to describe it, package it, or even understand it ourselves, at times. This is especially true for those of us who have found ourselves head over heels in love with a person who doesn’t even remotely fit our idea of our “physical type”. Superficial things that may have turned us off in the past, such as a beard, a paunch stomach, a certain hair color, etc., can all fall to the wayside when raw chemistry steps up to the plate.

Even if I don’t necessarily agree with Jake’s decision or if they, like many Bachelor couples in the past, fail to live happily ever after, the important thing is if they are staying true to their feelings; you can’t let what others think affect your relationship – especially when it comes to matters of the heart! I do wish them the best and the same for any couple who is truly seeking pure romance.

So many are searching for (or already have) a connection with another human being and more than anything they are looking to bond on a deeper level. When you’ve found that feeling it’s even more important to nurture it; that’s what’s so great about Pure Romance. We lose or bury that spark in bills, responsibilities, and day-to-day mundane activities in our life. One of the things we want to constantly remind people is to always take time to remember the feelings you had in the beginning (emotionally, mentally and physically) and foster them throughout your relationship! Just remember, when you find it, cherish it; it won’t grow on its own without any help from you and your partner especially as the years go by.

Below is a list of some offbeat couples (actual and fictional) through history that have surprised many whether it survived the test of time, or not…

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood

Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson

Madonna and Jesus Luz

Jack and Rose (Titanic)

Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison

Romeo and Juliet (Romeo & Juliet)

Skin Care is Essential to your Sensuality

2010-03-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

A great skin regiment is so important, which is why we were thrilled to recently incorporate these products into our line. We had actually been using the products from this set for several years prior to bringing it on as part of the Pure Romance line. Throughout our travels, We’ve had the pleasure of visiting some of the most renowned spas in the world and time after time the estheticians would refrain from recommending the facials!

They would tell me that whatever product I was using I needed to continue doing so. I also discovered that this same exact facial set was being sold in many of these upper-echelon spas for upwards of $350 and $400. Pure Romance is about offering high quality products at practical prices which is why we are excited to announce that we are offering this set for only $85. The set is made up of the products listed below. For more information on individual pricing, feel free to visit www.prchristina.com

• pH Balancing Facial Wash is a gentle, natural pH balanced cleanser created for all skin types and is specifically formulated to clean the skin and flush away dirt and pollutants without leaving alkaline residue. This assures a clean and radiant tone. It is ideal for make-up removal and may be used over the entire body.

• Refreshing Facial Exfoliator combines a natural blend of live enzymes and nutrient-rich herbal extracts that create a deep cleaning action that gently buffs away dead surface cells and embedded impurities that contribute to clogged pores, exposing healthy, vibrant-looking skin.

• Toning Skin Spritzer tones and enlivens the skin while softening the appearance of facial lines for fresh, silky soft skin. Can also be used as a refreshing spritz when dehydrated or travelling, as well as over finished make-up to set the color.

• Hydrating Vitamin C Serum contains a unique blend of Hyaluronic Acid, Squalane and Vitamin C that stimulates the formation of essential Collagen and Elastin, thus preventing and even reversing the effects of aging. If you don’t pamper yourself already, it’s time to start. Women are often so busy taking care of everyone else, we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves – and it shows! I can’t tell you how many women write into me every day and talk about how they don’t take care of themselves and how it directly affects their self-image and intimate relationships. I believe one of the best ways to increase excitement in the bedroom is to make time to pamper yourself.

We are so excited that Pure Romance has introduced this product and that we are able to give back to women and ensure that when they look in the mirror they will feel both healthy and beautiful!

Mis-Matched Libido's

2010-03-10T07:07:00.000-08:00

Many couples email us every day regarding mismatched libidos. In addition to age, there are many things that may affect a man’s desire and arousal, including stress, anxiety, certain medications, specific medical conditions, relationship issues, exercise, diet, and more.

Your partner may find it helpful to use an arousal cream, which can heighten sensations in the genitals. The arousal cream that I would most recommend for your partner is X-Scream; it is our maximum strength arousal cream and is great for men to use. The active ingredient in X-Scream is menthol, and it will provide a cool, tingly sensation to the genitals, helping to increase arousal. To use, your partner should apply a pea-sized amount to his penis (some men do not like it applied to their testicles, and some men may want it applied only to the most sensitive parts of their penis).

Another recommendation is for your partner to use a male stimulator, which is a masturbation sleeve that men can use alone or with a partner. You and your partner can use a male stimulator during foreplay to increase his arousal. You can also use a male stimulator to provide your partner with pleasure during manual stimulation. Pure Romance has a full line of male stimulators that you and your partner can use during foreplay to help increase his arousal. I recommend that you use a closed-ended product, such as Lavender Lover or Bubble Blower, as these products offer the most suction, which can help draw blood to the penis even faster. When using any of Pure Romance’s male stimulators, I recommend that you pair it with a thick, creamy lubricant, such as Whipped, or in your case, Lickity Stiff, which has special sensitizers that can again help slightly increase his arousal.

Once your partner is able to get an erection, he can use a c-ring to help him maintain it. A c-ring is worn at the base of the penis during intercourse; the purpose of the product is to restrict blood flow in the penis, helping to maintain erections. Many of Pure Romance c-rings come with a clitoral vibrator for your added pleasure. The c-ring that your partner may most benefit from is Jelly Tool Belt, which is very restrictive (the restriction will help to maintain an erection even more). Jelly Tool Belt’s clitoral stimulator has seven different speeds and functions for your pleasure. When using Jelly Tool Belt, and any of Pure Romance’s c-rings, I recommend pairing it with a thick, creamy lubricant, such as Lickity Stiff or Whipped, for added comfort and satisfaction.

Communication is extremely important in relationships, and I encourage you and your partner to also discuss this situation. It may be helpful to talk openly about the possibility of working through this issue together so both partners are satisfied with the amount of sexual activity that occurs. The two of you may find it helpful to read the book When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life by Sandra Pertot. I think this book may help to put you and your partner on the same page in regards to your wants and desires.

Pregnancy & Pleasures

2010-03-08T01:47:00.000-08:00

Worries about safety during pregnancy are common...

What will happen if the woman has an orgasm?
Will the thrusting of the penis harm the baby?
Might sexual activity cause a miscarriage?
Are there any products I can’t use during pregnancy?

In fact, there is no medical evidence that suggests that sexual activity during pregnancy does any harm whatsoever.

The only times you are likely to be advised against having sex are:

If you have had a tendency to miscarriage. Your health care provider might suggest that you avoid intercourse for the first three months, or at the times during those months when your period would normally have been due, as your hormone levels may be at their lowest then.
If you have a history of premature labor, you might choose to avoid intercourse during the later stages of pregnancy.
If you have a low-lying placenta, your health care provider may suggest you avoid intercourse.

The baby is very well protected by the muscular walls of the uterus, by the bag of water, which has a cushioning effect, and by the mucus plug which seals off the neck of the uterus.

No injury will occur during gentle, loving intercourse.

Women often experience mild contractions during arousal and orgasm, but these contractions are not powerful enough to start a labor unless it is imminent.

While sex won't start labor unless the woman's body is ready, nipple stimulation and intercourse are natural ways to help induce labor in late pregnancy if your baby is overdue. Semen can soften the cervix, and hormones released by nipple stimulation encourage the uterus to contract.

As far as concerns with product use, we recommend using a mild lubricant, such as Just Like Me or Sweet Seduction. We also recommend avoiding the use of Like A Virgin, an alum based tightening cream, during pregnancy.

Pregnancy is a wonderful time to experiment with massage and utilize the Erotic Massage Book. It is a great way to pamper a woman during pregnancy and still feel sensual. If you have any additional concerns about safety during pregnancy, always check with your health care provider.

Premature ejaculation: What Can We Do?

2010-03-08T01:43:00.000-08:00

Premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years. Most professionals who treat premature ejaculation define this condition as the occurrence of ejaculation prior to the wishes of both sexual partners.

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise duration for sexual relations and reaching a climax, which is variable and depends on many factors specific to the individuals engaging in intimate relations.

An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause for concern, but, if the problem occurs with more than 50% of attempted sexual relations, a dysfunctional pattern usually exists for which treatment may be appropriate.

Faced with involuntary ejaculation, most men try to distract themselves during intercourse, believing that by thinking about other things, they can trick themselves into lasting longer. Usually, that only makes things worse.

It is important for the man to not tune out his body. BUT TO TUNE INTO IT.

He needs to become more familiar with his different levels of sexual arousal. He also needs to recognize how he feels as he approaches ejaculation. Once he can recognize how he feels close to ejaculation, it's not difficult to make small sexual adjustments that allow him to remain highly aroused without ejaculating.

Sexual arousal is a four-phase process.

In the Excitement Phase, breathing deepens and erection begins.

In the Plateau Stage, erection becomes full and he will feel highly aroused.

When arousal builds to a certain point, the next phase occurs, Orgasm with Ejaculation Phase.

Then during the Resolution Phase, breathing returns to normal and erection subsides.

The key to ejaculatory control is to extend the Plateau Phase, to maintain arousal without triggering Orgasm and Ejaculation.

To learn ejaculatory control:
    * Don't use drugs or alcohol. They're distracting and they interfere with the self-awareness crucial to learning ejaculatory control.

    * Appreciate whole-body sensuality. Men often think sex happens only in the penis and only during intercourse. That view is a one-way ticket to uncontrolled ejaculation (not to mention erection problems, and women with those proverbial headaches).

The best sex involves head-to-toe arousal. Men learning how to approach -- but not arrive at – ejaculation, need to appreciate whole-body sensuality, the pleasure potential in every square inch of the body.

Whole-body sensuality releases tension. Tense bodies that have no other outlet often find release through involuntary ejaculation. But as you learn to appreciate sensual pleasure from head to toe, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off the penis, and he may last longer.

    * Whole-body sensuality means relaxation, but the "relaxation" involved in great sex is not the kind that includes an easy chair, a six pack, and Monday Night Football. It's the kind you feel after a hot bath or a good massage. In fact, bathing or showering together before lovemaking can help men relax and appreciate whole-body sensuality -- and last longer.

    * Breathe deeply. One very easy way to stay relaxed while making love is to breathe deeply. The body has a natural tendency to breathe deeply during sex. When men work to control their breathing, they often sacrifice ejaculatory control. Try breathing deeply. Let your breath go. Many men are amazed how much this one little change improves their ejaculatory control.

    * Start with masturbation with a dry hand. By varying how he caresses his penis, he can learn to stay highly aroused for quite a while without ejaculating. When he feels himself approaching ejaculation, simply back off a bit, stroke more gently or not at all, and stay aroused without ejaculating.

Then as he feels himself getting a little distance from ejaculation, return to more vigorous self-stimulation. Repeat this several times over several sessions. Approach the point of ejaculation, then back off. For most men, it doesn't take long to develop good ejaculatory control while alone.

    * Then encourage him to move on to masturbation with a lubricated hand. For most people, lubricants increase the sensual intensity of erotic fondling. Follow the same program: masturbate until he approaches ejaculation, and then back off. Repeat this several times over several sessions.

    * Once he has good control during masturbation, appreciates whole-body sensuality, and feels comfortable breathing deeply during lovemaking, then he is ready to try this with a partner. This is called the "Stop-Start Technique." First, encourage "stop" and "start" signals with his lover, for example, a light pinch or tap, or a tug on an ear.

    * Then, his partner strokes his penis by hand as he lies still. When he approaches ejaculation, have him give the "stop" signal. His lover immediately stops stroking and simply holds his penis gently, as he continues to breathe deeply and pays close attention to the sensations he is feeling. When he no longer feels close to ejaculation, have him give the "start" signal, and his partner should begin stroking him again. How many stops and starts should you do? Do what feels comfortable for you – there is no exact method that is perfect for everyone.

      Once he’s gained good ejaculatory control with his partner’s hand, try the same stop-start procedure with oral caresses. Once he has gained good control orally, try intercourse.

Here are some other suggestions for lasting longer:
    * The man-on-top (missionary) position can be fun, but it's harder for most men to control their ejaculatory timing, because they have to hold themselves up. Try making love with the woman on top. This position is more relaxing for men, and it often helps ejaculatory control.

    * It's important to understand that learning ejaculatory control takes time and practice. You may feel a little awkward along the way. Try to maintain a sense of humor about any accidental spills.

    * Finally, the program we recommend for learning ejaculatory control is very likely to provide your lover with greater sexual enjoyment--but not just because you last longer. Women generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented sensuality that includes the genitals but is not limited to them.

Women's main complaints about men's sexual style are that it's too rushed, too mechanical, too eager for intercourse, and that it focuses only on the breasts and genitals. Women generally feel that the whole body is a sensual playground, and can't understand why so many men explore only a few corners of it.

Like women, penises generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented lovemaking. The rushed, penis-centered, intercourse-fixated sex style puts a lot of pressure on the penis, and leads to premature ejaculation.

But when men make love the way women prefer, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off the penis and he can last longer.

If you are still having concerns with premature ejaculation, please see your health care provider. They may be able to provide you with another level of control, which may include taking medication.

Lubricants 101

2010-03-08T01:18:00.000-08:00

Why do we need a variety of lubricants?

For the same reason we need a variety of cosmetics - because every woman's likes are different, therefore what type of lubricant a woman will enjoy will be different.

A woman's needs vary depending on the time of the month, medications she is taking, type of intercourse she is participating in, the type of bedroom toy she is using, etc.

Lubricants can be the most critical item you buy – it can enhance both his & her comfort during intercourse.

Ask questions! Determine what lubricant will be best for you!!

Overall, no one type of lubricant Pure Romance offers is better than another.

Pure Romance offers several types of lubricants, including:

Water-based

Silicone-based

Oil-containing lubricants

Why water-based lubricants?

Safe for even the most sensitive woman a water-based lubricant does not stain

Is safe for use with latex condoms and all other barrier birth control methods, including:

Diaphragms

Cervical caps

They rarely cause irritation

Absorb naturally into the body.

AND they even have natural re-wetting qualities.

Pure Romance offers several types of water-based lubricants, including:

Just Like Me

Sweet Seduction

These lubricants are safe to use with ALL types of condoms.

Why silicone-based lubricants?

Silicone-based lubricants are completely waterproof! ....

Silicone-based lubricants:

Are ideal for underwater use.

Retain their lubricating properties better and longer than water-based lubricants

Are highly concentrated so a little goes a long way!

Are safe to use with ALL types of condoms.

Recommended for anal intercourse due to its long-lasting qualities.

An important note about silicone:

It CAN harm sex toys made from silicone, so use a different lubricant when using your bedroom toys.

Is not recommended for women experiencing extreme vaginal dryness, such as during and after chemotherapy treatment. It does NOT absorb naturally in the body, so will not moisturize an extremely dry woman

Pure Romance offers a silicone-based lubricant: Pure Pleasure.

Pure Pleasure is safe to use with all types of condoms.

Pure Pleasure is also recommended for water or anal activities...

Why an oil-containing lubricant?

Oil-containing lubricants:

Are ACTUALLY water-based!

Have all-natural oils to enhance texture of the lubricant.

Are safe in the vagina, because they are water-based.

Oil-containing lubricants should be used with polyurethane condoms ONLY.

Oil in lubricants can break down latex so...

They should NOT be used with:

Latex condoms

Diaphragms

Cervical caps

Pure Romance offers two types of oil-containing lubricants, including

Sensations

Whipped

These lubricants are however safe to use with polyurethane condoms.

If you have any Questions please contact me.

Your Pure Romance Sexpert,

Christina Trejo

(708) 770-2657

www.prchristina.com

Did You Know? - Fun & Interesting Sexual Facts!

2010-02-13T14:53:00.002-08:00

Did you know? "Ithyphallo phobia" is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.

Did you know? According to a survey of sex shop owners, cherry is the most popular flavor of edible underwear. Chocolate is the least popular.

Did you know? In the Aztec culture avocados were considered so sexually powerful, virgins were restricted from contact with them.

Did you know? Marilyn Monroe, the most celebrated sex icon of the 20th century, confessed to a friend that despite her three husbands and a parade of lovers, she had never had an orgasm.

Did you know? The average shelf-life of a latex condom is about two years.

Did you know? 14% of Americans have skinny-dipped with a member of the opposite sex at least once.

Did you know? According to a U.S. Market research firm, the most popular American bra size is currently 36C, up from 1991 when it was 34B.

Did you know? "Formicophilia" is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals.

Did you know? Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.

Did you know? Studies show that women who went to college are more likely to enjoy oral sex (giving and receiving) than high school dropouts.

Did you know? A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.

Did you know? In earlier times, masturbation was believed to lead to blindness, madness, sudden death and other unpleasant diseases. Present research, however, shows no connection.

Did you know? The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this dilemma, the male uses his curved penis to drill a vagina into the female.

Did you know? A man will ejaculate approximately 18 quarts of semen, containing half a trillion sperm, in his lifetime.

Did you know? The Geisha of Japan would not perform fellatio because it was considered demeaning for the cultured to do so.

Did you know? The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Did you know? Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate.

Did you know? Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

Did you know? For every 'normal' webpage, there are five porn pages !!!!

Did you know? The word "fuck" is actually an acronym. It dates back to the Good Old Days, when England was severely underpopulated due to the usual combination of fire/war/plague, and the King issued an official order to, well, fuck, to replenish the population. Hence the phrase "Fornicate Under Command of the King" passed into everyday language.

Did you know? A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. A pig's penis is shaped like a corkscrew also it is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky unless, of course, you played 'pig-tipping'.

Did you know? It's an urban legend that men think about sex every 7 seconds. According to an intense Kinsey Institute study, the average man forms a thought about sex approximately every two minutes, and that he generally ponders the thought for about a minute, 50 seconds before letting go of it.

An associated legend - that every two minutes women think about shopping - is blatantly sexist and completely without basis. It has been shown, however, that every two minutes a woman who is with a man will wish that he'd stop staring at her chest.

Did you know? The earliest known illustration of a man using a condom during sexual intercourse is painted on the wall of a cave in France. It is dated between 12,000 and 15,000 years old.

Did you know? A medical study conducted in Pennsylvania showed that people who have sex once or twice a week have their immune systems boosted slightly.

Did you know? A U.S. News and World Report poll found 50 percent agree that it is better to remain a virgin until you marry, and 39 percent felt it's better to have sex with a few different partners before settling down to marry.

Did you know? During the 1920s, it was believed that jazz music caused one to permanently lose his sexual inhibitions. It was often banned in many cities. One private company went as far as to sell the elites "jazz proof" furniture.

Did you know? All humans are 99.9% genetically identical and 98.4% of human genes are the same as the genes of a chimpanzee.

Did you know? "Venus Observa" is the technical term for the "missionary position".

Did you know? Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

Did you know? Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

Did you know? Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up (if you use a condom). It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

Did you know? Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

Did you know? The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

Did you know? Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

Did you know? Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. Hey, and it burns up 26 calories!!

Did you know? Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

Did you know? A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

The Benefits of Masturbation

2010-02-13T14:53:00.000-08:00

In 1972 the American Medical Association declared "Masturbation is a Normal Sexual Activity". Guess what? Not only is it "normal" for individuals to masturbate it is also very beneficial!

Boost Self Esteem - Masturbation can help overcome inhibitions, allowing for fulfillment of sexual desire, stemming self-confidence and self-image, giving others the impression of youthfulness.

Consistent Sex - Masturbation is truly the only way to have one's sexual needs met throughout life, whether too young or not ready to experience sex with a partner or one is not available. Masturbation allows individuals to meet their sexual needs whenever and as frequently as they need.

Help Relationships - Although someone may be in a relationship sex may not yet be a part of the relationship, or schedules may not allow for the desired amount of sexual intimacy. Self-pleasure can alleviate this sexual desire, decreasing sexual frustration, allowing for a clear head to deal with all the facets of the relationship

Improve Communication - Ever heard "you must love yourself to be loved by someone else"? The same holds true sexually. Having a good understanding of one's own needs and desires allows for the open communication of this information with one's partner, enhancing both of their sexual experiences.

Improves Overall Physical Health - Regular orgasms allow for the release of endorphins which cause an overall sense of contentment and relaxation, promoting better more regenerative sleep.

Improve Sexual Response - Regular masturbation with orgasms increases blood flow to the genitals. This increased blood flow brings "intelligence" to this area making arousal during sexual acts with one's partner(s) easier and sensations enhanced.

Pain Control - Regular orgasms also release cortico-steroids the release of these and the endorphins are shown to increase the pain threshold, easing discomforts such as menstrual cramping, arthritis, migraines, etc.

Take a moment to check out or sexual health aides @ pureromance.com or click on the specials page here!!!

The Blended Orgasm

2010-02-13T14:51:00.001-08:00

Here's a more intense climax to add to your repertoire. Your new slogan may become "I'll take mine blended."

Okay, you've heard of a clitoral orgasm and you've heard of the G-spot kind — both damn good in their own right. Now imagine if you blended the two types for one phenomenal fireworks-like finale. Yep, you can actually do that. It takes some specific techniques — which we teach you here — and a bit of practice, but experts say it's a skill you can master.

The Basics

As we said, a blended O is the combo of the two different ways women can climax. Clitoral orgasms usually come on faster because that area is so accessible. G-spot orgasms — named for the dime-size pleasure zone behind your inner vaginal wall — are considered much more intense because they reverberate from inside your body. "By simultaneously having your clitoris and G-spot stroked, you mix the unique sensations of each peak into one, resulting in a longer, deeper experience," explains Ava Cadell, PhD, a certified sex therapist in Los Angeles.

This kind of big bang won't just leave you feeling ah-mazing; your guy will reap its benefits too. "A blended orgasm requires different touches on two distinct body areas, and this extra effort naturally slows him down and helps him last longer," says Cadell. Plus, men love it when a woman really loses herself in lust. Watching you experience twice the power of a regular O will absolutely drive him over the edge as well.

How to Achieve One on Your Very Own

Before you pursue a blended O with your guy, it's a good idea to learn the ropes on your own so you're then able to better direct him, explains Lori Buckley, PsyD, a certified sex therapist in Pasadena, California.

The best way to start is by lying on your back comfortably and letting your body de-stress. When you feel relaxed, begin manually stroking your clitoris lightly. As you become more aroused, increase your pressure and speed until you're close to reaching your peak.

Once you're near the brink, take your hand off your clitoris and move it to your G-spot. If you're not sure where yours is, locate it this way: Insert a finger palm-up about an inch or two into your vagina, feeling for a spongy or puckered area along the front wall.

You'll know you've found it when a warm, sexy sensation washes over you...one that may even make you feel like you need to pee (because your G is near your bladder, it can trigger the urge to urinate, but don't worry, this should subside in a few seconds).

As you massage your G and become increasingly excited, resume stimulating your clitoris with your other hand or a vibrator...but don't take your finger off your G-spot. "While touching both, charge full speed ahead until you reach an explosive, pulsing kind of climax," says Buckley. If it doesn't happen the first time, practice, practice, practice.

Getting Your Guy In on the Action

Once you've located your G-spot and know how to bring yourself to a blended orgasm, you're ready to go for it with him. This position should make it easier: Lie on your back on the bed, your feet dangling over the edge, with a few pillows underneath your bottom to raise your pelvis. "It'll be easier for your man's penis to hit your G-spot if your vagina is elevated," says Buckley.

Have your guy stand or kneel (depending on how tall he is and how far off the floor the bed is) as he penetrates you. You two will form an L shape; he shouldn't lean too far over your body because you'll soon need room to reach down and touch your clitoris. Once he's inside you and you feel his penis stroke your G, have him thrust until you feel close to climax...then ask him to stop and remain very still. Let him watch as you softly tease your clitoris with your fingers. "Switch back and forth between touching your clitoris and stopping and having him thrust until you can't take it anymore and you have to do both moves at the same time. It'll lead to an incredibly explosive finale," says Cadell.

Now That You're a Pro

Once you've mastered this missionary move, test-drive a few slightly trickier — yet superpleasurable — positions. One option is a blended O during doggie-style. "When you're on all fours and he's thrusting from behind, his penis naturally finds your G-spot," says Buckley. Lean your upper body against the bed for support while reaching down and massaging your clitoris as he thrusts.

But doggie-style offers a bigger bonus: You can make him do all the work. His hand is free to rub your clitoris as he thrusts, putting him totally in charge of the two different types of stimulation.

If you crave more control over the G-spot stroking, try woman on top. "Face your guy, lower yourself onto his body, and lean forward. You'll feel his penis tickling your G-spot," says Cadell. "Because you're on top, you can thrust fast or slow, up and down, or in circles while you or he touches your clitoris."

Or by leaning far enough forward as you thrust, your clitoris will rub against his pelvis, creating completely hands-free stimulation that will culminate in blended-O nirvana.

Pure Romance by Christina

ChristinaTrejo@pureromance.com

www.prchristina.com

708.770.2657

Sex Positions for Fat Days and More

2010-02-13T14:50:00.000-08:00

This has been one very long winter and one that has no doubt caused a few of us to put on a pound or two. Are you one of those desperately waiting for the warm sun to shine and the snow to melt so you can get out there and shed those extra pounds? I hear ya'! Problem is that in the meantime, it leaves some women feeling less than desirable. And, let's face it, "fat" days are just one of many scenarios that leave women second-guessing their inner sex goddess! Time to take control, ladies!! Read on and learn how to overcome and master those less than stellar moments…

Take care!!

Christina

Sex Positions for Fat Days and More
by Tracey Cox

Just because you're tired, bloated or having a horrendous fat day (we've all been there), that doesn't mean it has to be a no-sex night! No matter the reason, it's easy to work around these common lust-busters - if you know the right moan-inducing moves. Just follow my intimate instructions for any of the problems below, and you'll be basking in the afterglow in no time.

You're having a fat day

What you want: To hide bulges, keep yourself semicovered - and ideally keep his hands far from your tummy and other no-go zones.

Intimate instructions: There are alternatives to keeping your T-shirt on and settling for (yawn) missionary. Rear-entry positions are the most flattering. Kneel facing away from him, lean down to rest your weight on your forearms (read: tummy hidden) and push your bottom tantalizingly high in the air in his direction. Not only does it give him a visual treat, the angle and position makes your waist look tiny and your thighs slim and taut - without you having to launch into that whiny "Don't look at me!" girly stuff. Put his hands on your hips to hold you steady while he thrusts, and you've also solved the wandering hands problem.

Sneaky tricks: If he wants the lights on, place glass-encased candles on the floor or simply plunk the bedside light down there. Lighting from below is far more flattering. Or play a game using a flashlight. Make the room as black as possible so there's complete darkness, then use the flashlight to highlight favorite parts of each other's body. It's complimentary, plus, because only one section at a time is being lit, it's less intrusive. Another good fat-day trick: Blindfold him and let it all hang out.

A new angle: If you do opt for missionary, make a pudgy upper midriff look sexier by stretching your arms up over your head and grabbing onto the bedposts or by placing them flat on the wall behind the bed. Better still, get him to pin you there. It's supersexy for him - he's in control and you're completely submissive. Plus, it works a treat to make tummies look flat and breasts appear perky!

You're exhausted

What you want: A zero-effort session where he won't notice if you nod off during the boring bits - plus speedy orgasms so you're spooning (and snoring) in no time.

Intimate instructions: Chances are you're already lying on your side, your back to his front (eyes determinedly shut despite his penis prodding you in the back), so this really is lazy-girl sex. Just lift your bottom to allow him to penetrate, and tighten your thighs for maximum friction while his hands reach around to stimulate your clitoris. To speed him up, make lots of satisfied groans and moans.

Sneaky tricks: If you're half asleep, your sexual system probably is too, so help it along by using lubricant. Save even more energy by ditching the usual in-out thrusting motion, and instead clench one buttock cheek at a time to rock you from side to side.

A new angle: If you can bear to get out of bed or are already snuggled up in front of the telly, have armchair sex instead. You sit on his lap, facing him, in a crouched position. Place your feet flat on the seat beside his thighs while he holds you by the waist and lifts you up and down. If you really want to be self-indulgent, tell him it's "your turn" (promise he can be completely spoiled next time): Settle yourself into that swivel chair in the study for a blissful oral sex session.

You've got your period

What you want: A position that doesn't bump or display a bloated, tender tummy - and doesn't involve washing the sheets afterward. Interestingly, while some women want nothing more than rest and an electric blanket, lots of women are turned on more during their period than any other time of the month. Here's another incentive to get over any squeamishness: An orgasm often alleviates cramps.

Intimate instructions: The shower is an obvious choice. Aside from the built-in cleanup, warm water running over your abdomen is soothing. True, it does look marvelously sexy to let water stream over those cheekbones (not to mention brave, since that's your makeup disappearing down the drain). But your best bet is to face away from the water, because you move your head more than you think during sex, and water shooting up your nose is not hot.

Try putting your hands on the shower wall for balance, and let him enter from behind as you stand on tiptoes and push your bottom up and outward. Alternatively, put your back against the shower wall and lift one leg as high as you can, resting your calf against the side of his shoulder. He holds your thigh and under your bottom to support you.

Sneaky tricks: By choosing a position where you're in charge of the pace, rhythm and depth of penetration - him behind or you on top - sensitive cervixes and sore middles can be accommodated. Another good option that saves the bedding: Do it in the kitchen. Those easy-to-clean surfaces are there for a reason!

Hop on the counter while he stands in front of you and penetrates. Then either wrap your legs around his waist or put them on chairs or stools for leverage and stability. Be warned, though: The angle is deep. It'll either hurt a little (just tilt your bottom back to keep the thrusting more shallow), or he'll hit your G-spot (which you probably won't complain about).

A new angle: If it seems like a great idea but the thrusting hurts, have him withdraw, and then rub the head of his penis against your clitoris until you orgasm. Finish him off with your hand or mouth.

You're taking ages to orgasm

What you want: An orgasm...now. As exquisite as it might feel hovering at that I-think-I'm-about-to-but-then-again-maybe-not stage, getting stuck there is no fun.

Intimate instructions: Because you're probably desensitized and in need of a jolt to push you over the edge, the trick is to switch stimulation. If you're into anal stimulation, a well-lubricated finger could do the trick. If that's not your cup of tea, try the old "fake it till you make it" method. Pretend you're going into the throes of orgasm (clench your bottom and thighs and moan), and you may trick your body by providing all the triggers it associates with actual orgasm.

Not working? Change position. Get him to lie on his back, legs stretched out and together, then climb on top so you have complete control. Put your knees on either side of his chest, let him penetrate and, leaning forward, move your hips so your clitoris is making small circles against his pubic bone. Still not working? Move yourself upward - if his penis isn't doing it for you, his tongue might!

Sneaky tricks: Make it a threesome - reach down, open your bedside drawer and get out your vibrator. If you're worried he'll feel left out, switch to a rear-entry position while one of you holds the toy firmly on the fleshy bit directly above your clitoris.

A new angle: If a clitoral orgasm won't work, perhaps a G-spot orgasm will. While the jury is still out on whether the G-spot even exists, the whole front vaginal wall is supersensitive. You on top or him from behind will give him a direct shot. If you suddenly think, Omigod, I have to pee, you're on target. Stick with it, and the sensation will pass, giving way to a G-spot orgasm. They feel totally different than clitoral ones, and I'm not sure I like them - but you might!

You've both had too much to drink

What you want: A way to make the most of the alcohol-induced total lack of inhibition without landing in jail (and help with a wonky erection would also be nice).

Intimate instructions: Make out all you like, but don't consummate anything in the elevator on the way up to your apartment - Mrs. Brown in 12B will be so not impressed. Instead, do it the second you're through the front door. Don't remove your clothes; just unzip and pull your panties to one side. Having sex while fully clothed feels lustily risqué (you just can't wait!). Let him slam you up against the hallway wall with your legs spread, then lift one and turn it sideways so he can penetrate. He puts his hand under your thigh for support; you put your arms around his neck for balance. Another way to be naughty but not too risky is to do it in front of a window with the lights off. You can see everyone else walking past and watching telly in other windows, so it feels like you're having sex in front of them - but they can't see you.

Sneaky tricks: If you can feel his erection depleting, get into a position where he's on top. Gravity will work in his favor, keeping all the blood in his penis rather than draining out of it. Don't panic if he's too limp for intercourse, and resist the urge to dive down and desperately perform the kiss of life. I'd avoid his penis entirely until he seems relaxed and just sneak a peek occasionally to see if anything's happening. If nothing is, tell him you don't need an erect penis to have a good time in bed; his tongue and fingers will do just fine, thank you.

A new angle: Some men go the opposite way and orgasm too quickly when they've had a few drinks - particularly if you're up to raunchier stuff than usual. If you're (rather optimistically) aiming for a simultaneous orgasm - rarer than you think - watch for the three surefire signs that he's about to explode: His penis swells one final time, his testicles rise tightly and pull up toward his body and the speed and depth of his thrusting increase.

Pure Romance by Christina can help you in your intimate relationship! Find out all about it when you host or attend a Pure Romance party!

Pure Romance by Christina

ChristinaTrejo@pureromance.com

www.prchristina.com

708.770.2657

"Not Tonight, Honey... I Have Endometriosis!"

2010-02-13T14:43:00.000-08:00

One of my Pure Romance sisters posted this article for her MySpace friends and I wanted to do the same for my MySpace friends. The saying is true, when you sign up to become a Pure Romance consultant you've just signed on to become a sex therapist, too. I've been a consultant now for almost 8 years and I have women who have confided in me their most intimate sexual challenges and experiences. And, endometriosis is ranked right up there as one of the most confusing and most frustrating conditions a woman can experience. Read on and learn how to easier cope with endometriosis.

Christina

Endometriosis - Severe Pain with Sex
by Heather Guidone

Question

I have endometriosis and I have always had painful sex but the pain is so severe now that I have tears coming down my face. I get zero pleasure due to all of the pain. I feel like I am less of a woman because I can't give my husband what he wants. What are so me of the things I can do to help deal with this. My pain is deep in my abdomen and pelvis during sex.
~Kathryn

Answer

Dear Kathryn:
Thanks so much for writing. I'm so sorry for what you've been enduring.

I actually had pulled together an article on this exact topic recently for the Endometriosis Research Center (www.endocenter.org) newsletter. You would not believe how many others with the disease are similarly suffering; I promise you are not alone. Here is a copy of the article; I hope it helps. Be sure to check out the resources listed therein for additional help as well. Good luck and feel better, and remember, you are not alone. ~HCG

"Not Tonight, Honey...I Have Endometriosis!"

Let's be frank: Endometriosis combined with sex does not always bode well for the ultimate intimate experience. Make no mistake - Endometriosis is a disease that affects more than just the woman. It affects her partner almost as much, and dealing with it as a couple is crucial.

Let's first address why some patients with Endometriosis experience dyspareunia (painful intercourse): the lesions may obstruct, bind or invade tissues and organs; it can secrete inflammatory substances known as prostaglandins and histamines that irritate surrounding tissue; it can cause scarring which can restrict blood vessels; and it can make our pain receptors much more sensitive.

Cul-de-sac (the membranous wall between the rectum and the vagina) Endo is a well known culprit for causing painful intercourse, particularly upon deep penetration. Take these physical aspects of the disease and combine them with treatments that kill our libido, throw our hormones into overdrive, and in some cases, make us gain weight so we can have a whole new set of body-concious issues to deal with, and you've got a recipe guaranteed to have "Not Tonight, Honey..." coming soon to a bedroom near you.

Further, let us not forget that infertility also factors into the mix for some. When we're having sex because our dreams of fertility depend on it, we sometimes forget in the process that sex can and should also be an intimate sharing between partners...and frankly, fun.

That said, here are some coping tips that might help:

You Must Work Together With Your Partner

This is the cardinal rule. Two-person problems are never resolved by one-person efforts. Work together to find what seems best for you as a couple. This includes having your partner join you at doctor visits and encouraging them to ask questions of their own. Don't be afraid to ask for help - if the problem becomes bigger than both of you, seek the assistance of a qualified therapist who understands the disease. Blame, doubt, fear, anger, sadness and even shame - of self and of each other - can appear in the bedroom when Endometriosis is a factor. There is nothing wrong with getting professional guidance, and it is not the same as saying "it's in your head" or "you're imagining the pain."

Treat the Disease

Research proves that thorough eradication of Endometriosis from all affected areas can leave a patient symptom-free in many cases, and if desired, even improve fertility. Finding a doctor who is skilled in the treatment of the disease can be your first step in feeling better overall. See http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EndoDocs for help finding someone near you.

Timing is Everything

For example, a lot of women feel physically best before ovulation. Determine what your "good" time is and plan accordingly. Call it "scheduled spontaneity"!

Lubricate, Lubricate, Lubricate

Then lubricate some more. GnRH therapy and other medications can cause vaginal dryness, as can certain surgeries. There are numerous products available to compensate for this, such as KY jelly, Astroglide and Gyne-Moistrin. Please note: if you are attempting to conceive, certain lubricants such as KY jelly can decrease sperm motility or destroy sperm altogether. Similarly, if you are using a barrier form of birth control such as condoms, vaseline-based products can deteriorate the latex. Ask your gynecologist for a few safe suggestions that might work for your situation.

Stop the Pain Before it Starts

If you need to, take your pain medication beforehand - but don't overdo it!

Remember that Intercourse Does not Necessarily Equal Intimacy

Intimacy can be established through numerous other means: hugging, holding, kissing, etc. You can heighten these experiences through candlelight, music, sharing a bath or whatever makes you feel good. Best of all, these activities can be done even when you're not feeling great, so you can both still share intimacy. There are also other activities that can be done in lieu of intercourse...use your imagination.

Communicate

Establish a signal with your partner that indicates when you feel ready for penetration. Take it slow and most importantly, be gentle. Talk about what works for you both - and what doesn't. Find ways to work around the things that hurt [no pun intended].

It is Even Possible to Have Fun!

Experiment with positions that are enjoyable for you both. Female dominant and side by side are very popular with Endo ladies, but find ones that work for you. If penetration is still too painful, consider oral intimacy.

Endometriosis does not have to mean a death sentence to your relationship. In fact, it can bring you closer together as a couple as you battle the disease together. In the beginning, it may highlight a greater need for real honesty and communication between you and your partner, but establishing both of these things can make for a happier partnership both in and out of the bedroom in the long run. It's not an overnight process; learn what works for you both - but learn together.

Men should not feel left out of the Endometriosis support experience! For more information, support, ideas and experience exchanges on all aspects of Endo, please visit this invaluable website. It is the first organization formed for "Men Who Love Women With Endo." See MENDO at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mendomen

See Also:

The Center for Endometriosis Care
http://www.centerforendo.com

The Endometriosis Research Center Online Support Community
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/erc

Inlet Medical, Inc.
http://www.dyspareunia.org/

"Painful Intercourse"
By D. Ashley Hill, MD
http://www.obgyn.net/displayarticle.asp?page=/women/articles/dyspar_dah

When the Economy is Down, the Sex Goes Up!!

2010-02-13T14:39:00.000-08:00

Is Recession Sex Even Better Than Makeup Sex?
Or Could Analytics, Marketing Be Behind Rising Sales of Personal Lubricant, 'Sexual-Enhancement Devices'?

By Jack Neff
Published: May 20, 2009

BATAVIA, Ohio(AdAge.com) -- The recession hasn't taken any edge off the sexual-accessories trade and may well have helped: Data show that such things as his-and-hers lubricants and mass-market sexual-enhancement devices are producing fireworks in supermarket and drug-store aisles.

First-quarter sales of personal lubricants soared 32% to$41.2 million, according to Information Resources Inc., led almost entirely by continued strength from last year's launch of Johnson & Johnson's K-Y Yours& Mine his-and-hers lubricants. That was even before ads from Mother, NewYork, launched last month behind K-Y Intense, the first major mass-market female-arousal gel, which has gotten major end-aisle displays in such surprising places as Walmart stores this spring.

Meanwhile, the small but suddenly booming"sexual-enhancement devices" category in food, drug and mass-market stores is growing even faster, albeit off a very small base, up 74% to $10.1million for the full year ended April 19, according to IRI, with Church &Dwight's Trojan and Durex products leading the way.

"When the economy goes down, sex goes up," said a J&J spokesman by way of explanation, but he and the brand team declined to elaborate on why their products seem to be booming when the economy isn't.

Jim Daniels, VP-marketing for Trojan at Church & Dwight,has some more-developed theories about why what he describes as the"sexual health" business is so healthy these days.

For one thing, he said, he believes package-goods analytics and marketing are potent forces when applied to sex, something that, at least from a product standpoint, the industry really hadn't paid that much attention to until recent years.

Classic CPG research

"These are areas where there are unmet consumer needs," he said."So what you're seeing is that companies like Church & Dwight, Johnson& Johnson, are investing in classic CPG research, and bringing that research and skills to bear in the sexual-health category, which really hasn't had a lot of classic CPG activity. ... Once those insights are uncovered,package-goods companies move very quickly to meet those needs with products, as well as advertising to make people aware of them."

The other theory is that recession actually helps.

"These seem to be products people are actually gravitating toward in a recession," Mr. Daniels said. "I'm not a psychologist, so I don't know why that is. We are seeing people spending more time at home. We're seeing people's relationships being stressed. We're seeing people looking for means to reconnect with their partner and invest in relationships.In some cases, people may have more time on their hands if they're not working."

But the reality is that some of this was always a pretty big business, just not one conducted in grocery, drug or mass-merchandise stores,where it's still illegal to sell some of these products in seven states.

Church & Dwight estimates sexual devices are actually a$1 billion business in the U.S.,not the tiny $10 million measured by IRI in food, drug and mass stores. While the business overall is growing too, it's up by more like mid- to high single digits than the double digits IRI can see, Mr. Daniels said.

Most of those device sales today come online, through adult stores or through home parties organized by direct sellers such as Pure Romance, he said. Much of the business done to date by Trojan Vibrating Touch,a product launched last year that fits on the fingertip, has been through TV and online direct-response advertising.

Mainstream activity

Use of some of these products is remarkably mainstream, Mr. Daniels said.Church & Dwight is preparing to release a study conducted through Indiana University and Knowledge Networks of more than 3,000 U.S.adults showing that half have used a "vibrating product" at some point in their lives and a third have used one within the past year. Of those,Mr. Daniels said, 80% have used it with a partner.

All of this seems to bode well for future growth -- maybe for the U.S.population, too. Sales in Trojan's main business, condoms, aren't growing nearly as fast as in other areas of "sexual health." IRI data reported by Deutsche Bank show sales flat last year and down 2.1% in the first quarter, though Mr. Daniels said sales are up slightly in all channels. And IMS Health reports that contraceptive prescriptions last year were flat for the second year in a row.

Ladies!!

Even the experts know that the romance enhancement business is booming! Here in Illinois, Pure Romance is seeing a 25% increase in it's sales so far this year - and it's not even our busy season yet!

Pure Romance is still in it's infancy compared to other direct sales companies out there (i.e. Avon, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Stampin' Up,etc). Currently, we have ONLY 10,000 consultants nation-wide. Seems like a lot, doesn't it? By comparison, Mary Kay has 1,800,000 active consultants; Party-Lite has over 50,000; and there are over 60,000 with Pampered Chef! Your point of view just changed, didn't it? It's easy to see then how Pure Romance is still on the ground floor of it's growth and it's only going to get bigger!!

So, how about it? How satisfied are you with your life right now? Do you love your job? Wonderful!! Keep doing it then!! But, maybe you could use a few extra bucks each month - get ahead on some bills, put aside a little extra for a rainy day or a fabulous dream vacation, buy something that you have always wanted but were afraid to ask for.

Maybe you are just so-so about your job or maybe you down right hate it? But, it does pay the bills, doesn't it? You're comfortable in that thought, aren't you? Really? Is that what you really, really want out of this life? Wouldn't you rather be making a difference in people's lives? How about actually looking forward to going to work and actually having a wonderful time?

And, then, maybe you're already doing the stay-at-home thing. And, you're loving the fact that you get to be there for your children and watch them grow and learn. It's an awesome feeling, isn't it? Wish you had some time for yourself, though? Just you? Wish you had some regular adult conversation? No kids. Just adults talking adult stuff. Wouldn't that be something?

What I am trying to say here is that no matter where you are in your life right now, Pure Romance can be the answer you have been looking for all along. Career women, college students, SAHMs, WAHMs, white collar and blue collar, full-time and part-time, experienced business owners and brand new business owners (the list goes on and on). It doesn't matter your lot in life, Pure Romance has something for EVERYONE!

Do yourself a favor TODAY! Just take a moment to look into Pure Romance and see what we're about. Call or email me and let's talk! You have questions and I have your answers.

It's that simple. It's that easy!

Pure Romance by Christina
ChristinaTrejo@pureromance.com
www.PRChristina.com
(708) 770-2657

How Great Sex Can Make You Rich!

2010-02-13T14:36:00.001-08:00

Got this one from a sister consultant - Thanks, Paula!!

Financial Advice from a Call Girl
How Great Sex Can Make You Rich

Originally Posted by S. Shugars at www.savingadvice.com
May 29, 2008

When people think about the best financial advice they have ever received, it usually comes from a family member, a close mentor or a financial guru. So it’s with a bit of embarrassment that I must admit that the best financial advice I ever received came from a call girl I slept with in my younger days. Even more surprising, it wasn’t intended to be financial advice,but what seemed to be almost an afterthought that she shouted back at me on the way out the door: “Don’t marry her if she isn’t great in bed.”

While her comment always stayed in the back of my mind, I never looked at it as financial advice until I realized where I am in my marriage and where many of my friends are. What I realize is that great sex has made me a happier person, saved our family a lot of money and kept me from falling into situations that have cost my other friends a lot of money.

Let me first state that I don’t see great sex as having anything to do with sexual prowess or stamina, but everything having to do with compatibility. Great sex isn’t an individual performance, but a combined performance between two partners that leaves you both exhilarated.

Having great sex with your partner is certainly not typical financial advice that you will hear in any of the personal finance magazines that you read, but that little gold nugget of advice has made me a lot more wealthy than most of my peers and advice that you should take to heart. Here are some reasons you should consider it a lot harder than you have:

Great sex reduces your entertainment costs: I can’t remember the last time I have seen a movie with my wife. This isn’t because either of us is cheap or don’t enjoy movies, but because there is never a question of what we’d rather choose to do. If you had the choice of a movie or a night of passionate love, which would you choose? Neither of us sees any reason to change this choice even after 15 years of marriage.

Great sex keeps you out of the malls: There is no need for retail therapy when you have a good sex life. You already know what makes you happy so there is no need to go searching for it in the latest gadget that will supposedly make you feel better. Nothing will fulfill you on a daily basis the way a great sex life will.

Great sex means you don’t eat out as much: Having a great sex life will mean you eat out a lot less than the average family. Much like with movies, if you have the choice of going out or a dinner in together with extra curricular activities, the dinner in almost always wins.

Great sex keeps you organized: When you are constantly looking forward to being with your partner, you don’t want other things to get in the way. You learn to get organized so that when you get home, there is nothing left over from work that needs to be done that could get in the way of the evening activities. Being the once unorganized slob and constant procrastinator that I used to be, I can tell you that having a compelling reason to be organized and get things finished early will ensure that you do. great sex is one of those compelling reasons.

Good sex makes you healthier: According to a study of 90,000American adults done by Dr. Ted Mcllvenna, from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, sexually active people take fewer sick leaves, are more gregarious and enjoy life more.

That means less doctor visits, lower insurance premiums and no need to pay for a gym membership.Except for the unexpected heart attack (that appears to have been more genetic that anything else according to my doctors),

I have been in great health during my marriage. I have taken exactly 3 days of sick leave in the 15 years I have been married and I find it hard to believe that many married men look forward to coming home as much as I do.

Great sex means that vacations are less expensive: When you and your partner have great sex together, the focus of a vacation changes dramatically. Most people choose vacations to be entertained, but when you have great sex, you choose vacations for the mood that they create. Time isn’t spent going from tourist attraction to tourist attraction, but spending time together enjoying the time and the atmosphere. Even when we pay extra to create a more romantic mood, the vacations are still far less than friends who vacation to be entertained.

Great sex means that you have no reason to cheat on your partner: A lot of people cheat on their partners for a lot of different reasons, but if the two of you have great sex together, it takes away the biggest reason for either of you to cheat on one another. Having affairs can bean expensive habit that can drain money from your overall wealth, especially when money is being hidden in order to maintain the affair. Great sex can keep you from ever making this costly mistake.

Great sex means you’ll stay married: That affair can become a lot more costly if it ends up resulting in divorce. If you want to keep your net worth secure, you don’t ever want to get divorced. I’ve seen first hand what it has done to a number of my friends financially, and it’s not a pretty sight.

There is a reason why people say that divorce is like taking all the money you have to the top of a tall building and then throwing handfuls of hundred dollar bills out of the window as fast as you can because that is essentially what happens. If you have great sex together, there is a lot less likelihood that either one of you will see divorce as something that you want or need.

What this all means is that our savings and net worth are a lot healthier than most of the friend that I’ve known over the years. It isn’t that we make more money, but that we have found a way to spend time together that costs little money and which we both enjoy immensely. Spending our time having great sex instead of spending money on other things means that we will retire with plenty of money without ever having to have struggled they way most people do.

So I pass along the best financial advice I have ever received from a call girl who didn’t even realize she was giving such important financial advice: “When you choose a partner, make sure that you have great sex together.”

Hey girls! Host a Pure Romance party, spice up your sex life for FREE and get WEALTHY!!!!!!!

Or, become a PR consultant and get wealthy from everyone else spicing up their sex life!

Study: Sex toys help in the bedroom

2010-02-13T14:35:00.002-08:00

September 20, 2004
By: LAURA BERMAN

Better sex does not have to be the stuff of dreams. For women who can't remember the last time sex was good or consider it just another chore to add to the list, there is a variety of sexual aids and devices that can really help.

Everybody's doing it. Well, almost everybody. A recent study by the Berman Center, funded by an unrestricted educational grant from Drugstore.com, found that nearly half of women ages 18 to 55 have used a vibrator. We got down to the truth about sex toys by surveying nearly 2,000 women across the country. The findings might surprise you.

For women of all walks of life, we found that using vibrators leads to better sexual functioning. These women are more interested in sex, achieve heightened arousal, have an easier time reaching orgasm and experience less pain during and after sex. This includes all sexual activity -- not just when women were using a sex aid. It seems that practice really does make perfect. We found that women who use vibrators are more sexually satisfied in general. And women who reported high levels of sexual satisfaction were more likely to report a positive quality of life as well. So ultimately, vibrators lead to a better quality of life!

And make no mistake -- far from taking the place of a partner, sexual devices work to enhance relationship sex by giving women (and men) a window into what pleases her, which only makes sex better. More than 55 percent of women in relationships reported using a vibrator, while 34 percent of singles did so. Two-thirds of women in relationships said their partner was supportive of their use of sex toys. Nearly half used their sexual aid with a partner, in addition to using it by themselves. And get this: Four percent of women reported that their male partners borrowed their vibrators for their own use.

What vibrators give women is a tool to take charge of their sexuality, either to improve what they have or get back what they lost. The hardest part is figuring out where to begin. Sex toys are definitely not one-size-fits-all, and the choices can be dizzying if you are just starting out. I prescribe different types of vibrators every day in my practice.

Remember, vibrators are not simply about good sex. Our study found what most women already know: If you are happy in the bedroom, you're happy outside of it, too. So if you're having some trouble with your sex life, take my prescription for a better life and try a vibrator. Doctor's orders!

Laura Berman, Ph.D., is a sex therapist and director of Chicago's Berman Center

What's a Pure Romance Party?

2010-02-13T14:35:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone!

I am just trying to get the word out about Pure Romance, America's 1 reason for a Girl's Night In. I am a Pure Romance consultant living in the Metro Atlanta Area and I specialize in helping women put the "O" in Romance, as well as empower them about their own sexuality.

At a Pure Romance party there is no need to fake the fun! A company founded by and run by WOMEN, Pure Romance offers products that can add a new dimension of fun and playfulness to coupled partnerships, as well as enable singles to explore, enjoy and satisfy natural desires. With a variety of products available, there is sure to be "that something special" to suit your own, personal needs.

Whether you are looking for goodies on the "tame" side, such as massage oils, bath aids and spa products, or you are ready to dive into the fun with arousal creams, lubricants and best of all, bedroom toys!! -- Pure Romance has what your looking for and more!

Host the BEST Girls' Night In around and have your friends talking for days! If you've ever been to a Pure Romance party, you know that it's NOT your typical party! When you book a Pure Romance party I will bring the store to you! At the end of the evening you and your guests will be able to take home all/or most of what you have ordered, instead of waiting 2 - 4 weeks like other in-home parties. Best of all, there are no fees to host a party but plenty of perks!

In addition to some much-needed time with the girls, you get FREE PRODUCTS just for hosting! As a hostess, you will receive 10% OF TOTAL PARTY SALES IN FREE PRODUCTS FOR YOURSELF! For example, if you host a $500 party, you will receive a $50 shopping spree--ON ME!! I also offer additional hostess gifts--After all, you are giving your friends an evening they will never forget and YOU DESERVE TO BE SPOILED!!

For more information on booking a party, send me a message or email me at ChristinaTrejo@PureRomance.com. (You can also visit www.PRChristina.com.) I look forward to meeting you and showing you and your friends a GREAT night in! ADULT LADIES ONLY (18 and over)

You can recycle your bottles, cans, and paper products. Now you can recycle your old sex toys!

2010-02-13T14:33:00.001-08:00

You can recycle your bottles, cans, and paper products. Now you can recycle your old sex toys!

www.recycleyoursextoys.com

Recycling Your Sex Toys

Finally, there’s an environmentally friendly way to dispose of used or broken vibrators, dildos, plugs, or any other sex toy you may have. Our Sex Toy Recycling program offers you a way to recycle sex toys that you no longer want or use.

It is Simple and Easy

Simply drop your clean used toy(s) in the mail, when we receive it in our warehouse we will have it cleaned and disassembled. The rubber, silicone, hard plastics, metal, e-waste and motors will be sent to recycling facilities that process the materials for reuse. Did you leave the batteries in? Don’t worry, we dispose of them responsibly.

Help Your Planet

Now, when you get rid of that old, broken or unused sex toy, you will be helping our environment. You can feel good that you have done one more thing to cut consumer waste, reduce landfills and help eliminate the toxic chemicals that seep into our soil and ground water.

Be Rewarded For Your Good Deed

Not only do we make recycling your sex toys simple, we also offer a reward as an incentive. For every package of toys* you send in to be recycled, you will receive a $10 gift card (please allow 4 to 6 weeks to receive) to use at one of our affiliate partners as well free shipping when applicable on your next order. So the more you recycle, the more you can play. Going green has never been this much fun!

*As we do appreciate your enthusiasm in participating with the Recycle Your Sex Toy Program, sending multiple packages with one or two items in it, and not filling the box to capacity, does not fall in line with our intentions to reduce wastes. Consider, as well, that you are paying more for shipping all those boxes individually.

So why not recycle your old sex toys and purchase new state of the art toys from Pure Romance by Christina

12 Secrets of Sensational Solo Sex

2010-02-13T14:32:00.001-08:00

Am I doing this right?

When it comes to sex, it's the most asked question of all time, and masturbation is no exception. That's where expert advice from Anne Semans comes in. In her book The Many Joys of Sex Toys, 12 tricks are spelled out in buzz-worthy detail.

Relax.

The key to your enjoyment is your ability to relax and stay in the moment, so check your anxieties or frustrations at the door. Stop thinking about work, the kids or the dirty laundry. Take a warm bath or get a massage beforehand. (Ladies, we have some wonderful bath products to help you with just that!)

Turn yourself on.

Think about what things have turned you on in the past and focus on them now to jump-start your arousal. Fantasize about a steamy sexual encounter, replay a scene from a sexy movie or imagine yourself naked with your favorite celebrity. If you enjoy additional stimulation, put on some sexy music or read some erotica.

Have a look.

If you've never really looked at your genitals before, take out a mirror and hold it with one hand while you use the other hand to locate the parts of your genitalia. Look for the clitoris under its protective hood at the top of your vulva; identify your labia, vagina and anus. It might help to have an anatomical diagram next to you if you're having trouble figuring out what's what. (Consider this INCREDIBLE guide book - Tickle Your Fancy - to help you in your quest!)

Let your fingers do the walking.

Use your fingertips to explore all the parts of your genital anatomy. Notice the smoothness of the labia folds, and the hardness of the clitoris. Peel back the clitoral hood and touch the glans so you are familiar with its sensitivity. Insert a finger into your vagina and notice the different textures as it moves in slightly. As you explore, pay attention to the parts of your vulva that feel especially good when stimulated.

Play with yourself.

Put the mirror down, lie on your back and touch yourself all over. Begin by running your hands all over your skin, lingering on the spots that feel particularly sensitive -- including the breasts and the sides of your thighs. Try a variety of movements on your labia and clitoris, pulling, pinching and rubbing along the smooth skin. Focus on the clitoris, paying attention to any erotic sensations that certain moves generate. Some women like to use two fingers to rub over the clitoral hood in a circular motion; others place a fingertip on either side of the clitoris and move from side to side.

Feel the buzz.

Turn your vibrator on and explore in much the same way that you did with your hands. Try running the toy over different parts of your body, including your genitals, but saving your clit for last. Lightly place the tip of the vibrator on your clitoral hood. If the vibration is too intense, place a washcloth or piece of clothing between your body and the toy. (Pure Romance has so many toys to choose from! May I recommend the 7th Heaven or the Exhilirator?)

Add your Kegels.

Slowly rock your hips back and forth, contracting your PC muscles (what you squeeze when you want to stop a stream of urine) in time to the motion. (And did you know the stronger your PC muscles the more intense your orgasms become? Need to strengthen them? Consider using our Ben Wa Balls.)

Mix it up.

Vary the speed on your vibrator or apply pressure to get a stronger vibration on your clitoris. If you're moving the toy around, try changing the direction of the motion. As your arousal builds, try stopping and starting the vibration. By "teasing" your clit you coax it along -- when you withhold the stimulation, your body jumps back after it when it's resumed. If you have a hard time getting over the top, stop the toy for longer periods and relax your muscles. Try using the vibrator in a different position -- squeeze it between your legs or lie on top of it. (More toy choices - Sealed with a Kiss or the 5" Personal Massager)

Breathe deeply.

Resist the urge to hold your breath; instead, take long, deep breaths. With practice, you can coordinate the rhythm of your breathing to your mounting arousal. When you feel yourself close to orgasm, inhale, then time your exhale with the onset of the orgasm, and you'll feel the sexual contraction flow through your body to your toes.

Stay with it.

One of the frustrating and magical things about orgasm is that it can feel very elusive up until you're actually seconds away from having one. Once you hit the point of no return, your orgasm will sweep over you in a matter of seconds, and your body will be wracked by several contractions.

Go for multiples.

Vibrators are tireless -- they can keep going and going long after hands or penises tire out. After your first orgasm, remove the vibrator if your clit is too sensitive, but return after a few seconds to try for another orgasm. You might be surprised at how easy it is to go for more than one, or two, or three... (Or consider going for that G-Spot orgasm. Try the Love Doctor or the G-Whiz! You won't be disappointed!)

Try and try again.

Don't worry if you don't make it on your first go-round. Just pick up the toy again later and give it another try. Sometimes it can take several weeks before your body becomes accustomed to the stimulation. Try to learn from each attempt, paying close attention to which types of stimulation feel best and building on those.

Sexual Health Resource Guide

2010-02-13T14:31:00.000-08:00

The Health Education Department at Pure Romance has compiled a list of reliable sexual health and sexuality resources to help answer your most personal questions. Please use these resources to answer any questions you may have regarding sexuality, sexual health, and relationships.

As always, if you have questions or would like further clarification about any topics, please contact The Health Education Department or the Customer Service Department at Pure Romance and we will be happy to help. This is not a comprehensive list of organizations and resources, but is meant to be a reliable point of reference.

You can research organizations in your area by visiting many of the sites listed here, or by searching the Internet. It is necessary, though, when using the Internet to use trustworthy sources, many of which are listed below. If you have any questions about a particular Web site and whether it is reliable, please contact the Health Education Department.

GENERAL HEALTH ISSUES

American Cancer Society www.cancer.org
American Diabetes Association www.diabetes.org
American Heart Association www.americanheart.org
American Lung Association www.lungusa.org
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) www.cdc.gov
Food and Drug Administration www.fda.gov
Mayo Clinic www.mayoclinic.com
National Cancer Institute www.cancer.gov
National Institutes of Health www.nih.gov
National Kidney Foundation www.kidney.org
National Multiple Sclerosis Society www.nationalmssociety.org
People Living with Cancer www.plwc.org

GENERAL SEXUALITY AND SEXUAL HEALTH INFORMATION

American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) www.aasect.org
Ask Patty www.christinatrejo.pureromance.com
CDC www.cdc.gov
Go Ask Alice! www.goaskalice.com
Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction www.kinseyinstitute.org
National Women’s Health Information Center www.4women.gov
Planned Parenthood www.plannedparenthood.org
Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States www.siecus.org
The Health Education Department at Pure Romance sss@pureromance.com or thenakedtruth@pureromance.com

SAFER SEX AND STI/HIV

American Social Health Association www.ashastd.org
Association of Reproductive Health Professionals www.ahrp.org
CDC www.cdc.gov
Planned Parenthood www.plannedparenthood.org
Society for Human Sexuality www.sexuality.org/safesex.html
The Body www.thebody.com
US HIV/AIDS Information www.aids.gov

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy www.aamft.org
AASECT www.aasect.org
American Psychological Association www.apa.org
Family Violence Prevention Fund www.endabuse.org
Latinas Unidas por un Nuevo Amanecer (LUNA) www.charityadvantage.com/lunaiowa/home.asp
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.ncadv.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline www.ndvh.org 1-800-799-SAFE
National Sexual Violence Resource Center www.nsvrc.org
Planned Parenthood www.plannedparenthood.org
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network www.rainn.org
US Office for Victims of Crime: Rape and Sexual Assault Resources www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/rape.htm

MEN’S HEALTH ISSUES

American Urological Association www.urologyhealth.org
Asian Pacific Society for Sexual Medicine www.aspir.org
Hispanic Health Council www.hispanichealth.com
Men’s Health Network www.menshealthnetwork.org
National Alliance for Hispanic Health www.hispanichealth.org
National Black Men’s Health Network www.nbmhn.net
Prostate Cancer Research Institute www.prostate-cancer.org
Prostate Cancer Foundation www.prostatecancerfoundation.org
Testicular Cancer Research Center www.acor.org/tcrc

WOMEN’S HEALTH ISSUES

Black Women’s Health Imperative www.blackwomenshealth.org
Female Sexual Dysfunction Online www.femalesexualdysfunctiononline.org
Hispanic Health Council www.hispanichealth.com
International Pelvic Pain Association www.pelvicpain.org
National Alliance for Hispanic Health www.hispanichealth.org
National Asian Women’s Health Organization www.nawho.org
National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health www.latinainstitute.org
National Ovarian Cancer Coalition www.ovarian.org
National Vulvodynia Association www.nva.org
National Women’s Health Information Center www.womenshealth.gov
North American Menopause Society www.menopause.org
Susan G. Komen (breast cancer) www.komen.org
The Gynecologic Cancer Foundation www.thegcf.org
The Vulvar Pain Foundation www.vulvarpainfoundation.org
Young Survival Coalition (breast cancer) www.youngsurvival.org

LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER (LBGT) ISSUES

Gay Men’s Health Crisis www.gmhc.org
LGBT Health, Education and Research Trust (HEART) www.lgbtheart.org
Mautner Project www.mautnerproject.org
National Coalition for LGBT Health www.lgbthealth.net
Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) www.pflag.org
Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Elders (SAGE) www.sageusa.org
Trans-Health www.trans-health.com

SPECIAL INTEREST

American Association for Retired Persons www.aarp.org
American Geriatrics Society www.americangeriatrics.org
American Association of Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities www.aamr.org
American Society on Aging www.asaging.org
Amputee Coalition of America www.amputee-coalition.org
National Institute of Aging www.nia.nih.gov
National Spinal Cord Injury Association www.spinalcord.org
US Department of Veterans Affairs www.va.gov

You can also refer to your local university or college Web site,
as well as local hospital Web sites for more information about any of the above topics.
Your health care provider can provide you with additional information and resources, too.

Frequently asked sexual health questions answered by the experts: Debby Herbenick and Patty Brisben

2010-02-13T14:19:00.000-08:00

DO ALL WOMEN HAVE A G-SPOT?

Patty: I think this is a great question and one I get asked often by women! I do believe that all women have the capabilities to experience g-spot stimulation; it is just whether or not they will respond to it in a pleasurable way. I encourage women to explore their bodies to find out which areas provide them with the most pleasure. Some women may find that after stimulating the g-spot, sometimes over an extended period of time that they may feel pleasure or even orgasm. When exploring the g-spot for the first time, I recommend that women do this alone and with the help of a curved bedroom accessory. Just remember that for most women exploring, it may take several tries to find out whether or not the g-spot is a pleasurable area for you. So the question really isn’t whether or not all women have a g-spot, but whether or not all women respond to g-spot stimulation!

Debby: The G spot is not an actual body part like a nose or a pancreas. Instead, we use the phrase “G spot” to refer to an area inside the vagina, about one or two inches inside the body, on the front wall of the vagina. In that sense, yes, every woman who has a vagina also has this area called the “G spot”. Whether stimulation of the G spot area feels pleasurable or orgasmic is another story. Some – but not all – women enjoy G spot stimulation and the only way to tell is for a woman to explore her body alone or with a partner, using her fingers or a G spot bedroom toy. For more information about the G spot, I recommend reading The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality by Dr. Beverly Whipple, Dr. John Perry and Dr. Alice Ladras.

CAN THINGS GET LOST IN THE VAGINA, LIKE THE BEN WA BALLS?

Patty: This is another great question! If you were to ask several of my customers if this was true, they would definitely say yes! With a little education, however, I was able to reassure them that Ben Wa Balls will not get lost in their vagina! Usually what happens when a woman feels like something is “lost” inside of her, she begins to become tense, which in turn starts to tighten her muscles, making it virtually impossible to allow gravity to work the missing object out! In a sense, things can get stuck in the vagina, but they definitely aren’t lost! Something I like to recommend to these nervous women is to first relax. After they have relaxed, I encourage them to sit on the edge of their toilet with each foot propped up on a trash cans. This position should start to look familiar! I have them bear down as if they were trying to have a bowel movement and while they are relaxed and in this position, use their fingers to reach inside and remove the missing tampon, condom or Ben Wa Ball. If for some reason this method doesn’t work, or the woman doesn’t feel comfortable touching herself, I suggest having a partner try. Otherwise, her health care provider will be happy to help! Just remember, the key is to relax!!

Debby: No. Here’s why: The vagina is a relatively small space and it ends at the cervix (the opening to the uterus). The cervix is an extremely tiny opening and most objects (like ben wa balls, sex toys, and tampons) are too big to fit through this opening. The vagina is about 3 or 4 inches long when a woman is not aroused. When a woman feels sexually excited the vagina grows slightly wider and longer. Even though the vagina gets bigger, it doesn’t get huge. If a woman feels like she has “lost” a ben wa ball inside her vagina (or if she cannot find a tampon she inserted, or a condom that slipped off during sex), she can be reassured that with a little time and patience, she or her partner can gently insert their fingers, retrieve the object and pull it back out. If she feels too nervous to do this herself or with her partner, she should ask her doctor to remove the object as soon as possible (it happens to other women, too, and she doesn’t have to feel embarrassed, but she does need to have it removed to prevent bacterial growth).

HOW CAN I GIVE MY SEX DRIVE A BOOST?

Patty: The million dollar question! There are a lot of different things you can try to help you improve your sex drive. I always encourage women to try a variety of things and to not become discouraged if something doesn’t work right away! Take this opportunity to enjoy discovering and exploring your body again! You may find that it is as simple as changing some small part of your routine, such as the way you initiate sex or how you engage in foreplay. Play some new games; try new positions… challenge your routine! I also encourage women to take care of themselves. Eat well, exercise, get a good nights sleep and visit your doctor regularly! If improving your sex drive isn’t as simple as changing your routine, your health care provider can help you find what will work best for you! It has to start with you and your desire to give it a boost!

Debby: A woman’s sex drive can decrease for any number of reasons including medical conditions, medication side effects, stress, anxiety, depression, feeling tired, relationship problems, eating patterns and more. The best place to start is with a check-up with one’s healthcare provider to rule out medical conditions or medication side effects.A healthy lifestyle is important to sexual desire and interest too. Get plenty of sleep. If you smoke, consider quitting (there are a variety of smoking cessation classes as well as medications available to help you quit). Try to eat better (e.g., more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins) and move more (e.g., try to walk, run, play with your kids or otherwise move your body for more minutes of the day, and on most days of the week). Ask your doctor, nurse, dietician or physical therapist for advice and information about sleep, nutrition and physical exercise. If a woman is unhappy with her relationship or simply wants to re-connect with her partner, suggest that she read For Each Other: Sharing Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Lonnie Barbach or meet with a sex therapist (she can visit www.aasect.org to locate one nearby).

Your Frequently Asked Questions: Foreplay and Communication

2010-02-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

Sex has become monotonous in my relationship. What would you recommend to spice things up?

You may want to explore Pure Romance’s foreplay products to help spice up your relationship. Foreplay products are one of the easiest ways to add fun and excitement to sexual activity. Pure Romance has a full line of foreplay products that you and your partner can use together. For example, the new Date Night Game allows couples to communicate with each other, while having fun at the same time! There are several types of cards, including conversation and action cards, that will help set the mood for a full night of pleasure.

Massage is another great foreplay activity. Massage allows couples to connect with each other, while at the same time increasing arousal and exploring each other’s bodies. Two popular massage products are Hot Heart Massager and Burning Desire candle, which can be used together. Burning Desire is a soy-based massage oil candle that never burns hotter than body temperature. Hot Heart Massager is a reusable heat pack that provides users with a warm, relaxing experience. You can pair Burning Desire and Hot Heart Massager together for the ultimate warm massage. You and your partner are encouraged to browse through Pure Romance’s foreplay products (as well as our bath and massage products) to help find the perfect item(s) for you.

Finally, you should talk to your partner about your interest in spicing things up in your relationship. Communication is extremely important in relationships, and, at Pure Romance, we encourage open, honest communication throughout a relationship. Talk to your partner and explain your thoughts and feelings regarding your desire to try new things and spice things up. You and your partner can then decide together what types of things that you could like to do/try to add fun and excitement to your sexual activities. The discussion in itself may help to add spice to your relationship.

I am interested in trying anal play with my partner, but do not know how to bring it up. I have a difficult time talking to my partner about my sexual interests. What do you recommend?

Communication is an extremely important part of all relationships; couples should engage in open, honest communication regularly. Communication is also very important when it comes to sexual activities like anal play. Both partners should feel comfortable engaging in the activity and should agree on how they will engage in anal play. Couples should decide together if they want to take things slowly, and should set a “safe word” in case one person experiences any discomfort.

If you feel comfortable doing so, you can simply tell your partner that you are interested in engaging in anal play, and ask your partner how they feel about your desires. You can explain your thoughts and feelings behind the intrigue and your desire to engage in anal play and see how your partner thinks and feels about it. You could also use books or games to help communicate your desires with your partner. “Tickle Your Fancy” has a chapter on anal play; you can read the book, highlight areas that you would like to discuss, and leave it in an area for your partner to find. You could also sit down together and read this chapter at the same time. This can help open the discussion around anal stimulation.

If your partner decides that this is something they do not want to engage in, there are ways for you to explore anal penetration on your own. Pure Romance has a full line of anal play products that you can use during self-stimulation to explore anal penetration. Our products are easy-to-use and many of them are great for beginners, including the Butt Plug and Little Gem. I encourage you to use a lubricant during anal play, as the rectum does not self-lubricate like the vagina. We recommend silicone-based lubricants, such as Pure Pleasure, because they are gentle and long-lasting. With the right lubrication and self-exploration, you may fulfill your fantasies and desires.

Spice Up Your Sex Life: Seven surprising things to shake up your sex life

2010-02-13T14:16:00.001-08:00

1. Get out of your standard role. Most of us have fallen into a sexual rut because we assume a role that is comfortable for us. Allow yourself to step out of that role once in a while and experiment. Develop the parts of yourself that you rarely show to anyone else. Or pretend to be someone completely different.

Example: Pay him for sex and get exactly what you want. Have an elegantly wrapped package delivered to him at work, with note containing only a time and hotel address written on it, a hotel room key, and a $50-$100 bill (how much is he worth?). When he shows up, get him to do exactly what you have always wanted him to do. Why not? You paid for it. Or : The stern School Marm, The helpless slave.

Try these fantasy props by Pure Romance: Beginner's Bondage Kit, Tickle and Whip, Cozy Cuffs

2. Don’t relax….Get excited. Women have been told, to “relax”, to get in the mood, as relaxation is designed to make you feel sensual and not caught up with the stresses of life. But the problem is that many women end up relaxing too much and feel more like falling asleep than having sex. The opposite of relaxation, arousal, can sometimes be even more effective in increasing your sexual mood. The word “arousal” itself implies an increased heart rate. Increasing your heart rate can help to increase your arousal.

Example: Go for a run, watch a scary movie, or watch a sexually explicit movie.

3. Explore your fantasies online. A healthy fantasy life can often re-ignite a sex life gone stale, help you feel empowered in your own sexuality, and offer more options in developing your sexual repertoire alone or with lovers. Here are some tips: · Create a safe place. You both need to know that you can share what you like without the other getting upset. Fantasies can be very personal but are only one facet of your relationship. · Negotiate with your partner ahead of time what you do and don't want to share. For instance, you may feel comfortable sharing fantasies that involve your partner but no one else. · Use the privacy and the variation the Online world allows for.

Example: Start off by going to an erotica/porn site together (erotica at Libida.com). Then venture off to a site where you can buy adult videos (erotic movies at Libida.com). Read the synopses, look at the covers and discover what you like. Move onto more specific niche sites that suite your interests. Try: Eyes of Desire, Bad Wives, Pirates

Or: Chat with each other, as other personalities. Sign up on AOL or Nerve.com, fill out a personals profile and meet each other all over again. Develop a part of your personality that you don’t normally show anyone. Flirt, tell each other your fantasies, or have full blown cybersex (a complete tip in itself).

4. Fantasize about something “nasty”. Allow your mind to wander to taboo subjects and explore them. Let them turn you on. Remember…..fantasy is just that. Just because taboo subjects arouse you does not mean that you always want them to come true. Example: You’d be surprised by what the “average” woman fantasizes about. Nancy Friday has compiled thousands of “average” women’s fantasies in “Women on Top”, or “Secret Garden” Get in a place where you will not be interrupted. Close your eyes and imagine the wildest thing you can imagine. If you are feeling at all uncomfortable, stop and give yourself permission to be thinking it (reminding yourself, “It is only fantasy…. I don’t necessarily want it to come true”;), now resume thinking it. Refer back to sexy novels, or explicit images that you have seen. Play with your fantasies. Push them to their limits….this will help you to understand your own limits, to know “I won’t cross this threshold”. It’s all in your control. Play with yourself while you do it. Do it with a partner (this is a whole different tip).

Start with some classic erotica, Best American Erotica or Sweetlife: Erotica Fantasies for Couples Or look for a fantasy you are aroused by, such as Best Gay Erotica, or Best Bondage Erotica or Best Bi-sexual Erotica.

5. Be a little Selfish. One of the biggest mistakes many women make with sex is putting their partners needs before their own. Push the pendulum the other way. If it feels like you have been overly selfish you are probably just falling into the equal area.

Example: Tell your partner that for the next hour you are in charge. For this hour, he has to do exactly what you want. (Another night you will return the favor). Start out by putting his hand where you want it to go. Enjoy that feeling. Now move it…. Do it with attitude. Put on your stern school marm tone and dictate exactly what you want done. Do what feels good to you. Please yourself.

6. Introduce a new toy into the relationship. Sex toys aren’t just for your own private pleasure, introduce him to some shared fun.

Example: · Leave a special toy on the bed prior to retiring for the evening. A note suggesting what you might like to have him do to you with it will ensure you get what you want. · Order a game from Pure Romance as a gift (even though it’s really for the both of you) like 52 Weeks of Naughty Nights, Coupons for Lovers, or Date Night. · Buy a sex toy that can be used on him as well as you. For instance, there are toys that serve as a cock ring for him, and vibrate against your clit during penetration at the same time. Try these products from Pure Romance: Jelly Tool Belt, Double Trouble Ring or Triple Teaser

7. Skip intercourse. Agree that you will skip intercourse for the evening and indulge in watching the other play with themselves. This will not only increase the anticipation of the next day’s activities, it will also allow you discover the joys of the variations of sex without the pressure of intercourse. Maybe you’ll both learn a few new tricks about one another.

Dispelling the Myth

2010-02-13T14:14:00.002-08:00

Pure Romance is not like other "toy party" companies. We are very classy company that helps empower women in and outside of the bedroom.

Pure Romance has also grown and evolved into a company that not only helps couples maintain intimacy within their relationships but is also a national ambassador for women’s sexual health.

Pure Romance is also a501c3 non-profit organization which provides research and education for women and health care providers regarding women’s sexual health.

Pure Romance give Consultants, customers and the general public invaluable information regarding sexuality, relationships and overall sexual health; in addition, it expands on the Pure Romance mission to provide a comfortable environment for women to explore sexuality without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

Pure Romance by Christina
NOT YOUR TYPICAL PARTY!

15 Things You Should Know About Women's Health

2010-02-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

15 Things You Should Know About Women's Health

by Debby Herbenick PhD, MPH

1 Sexual desire is complex. A woman's sexual desire can be influenced by sleep, fatigue, illness, fitness nutrition, body fat (too much or too little), feelings about her partner, aging, changes in hormone levels, communication, side effects from medication, mood, stress, anxiety and her menstrual cycle. When a woman wonders what has happened to her sex drive, it can be important to reassure her that many women (and men) experience changes in their sex drive, to encourage her to communicate with her about her feelings and to check in with her healthcare provider to rule out any health conditions or side effects from medications that might be impacting her desire. In addition, she can seek out a sex counselor or therapist. aasect.org.

2 Not all women orgasm through intercourse. Many women require direct stimulation of their clitoris, which is outside of and above the vagina (at the twelve o'clock position). Many women find it easier to orgasm when a partner performs oral sex on them, when they or their partner touch the genitals with their fingers, or when they or their partner use a bedroom toy. A couples toy such as the Pure Romance Jelly Tool Belt may be a particularly useful toy for any woman who would like to orgasm through vaginal intercourse.

3 Not all lubricants are created equal. Some women are sensitive to propylene glycol; other find that glycerin irritates them. Pure Romance Just Like Me is a gentle lubricant that many women with sensitive skin find can make sex more comfortable and pleasurable, without the irritation. Other women simply like to spice things up sometimes with sex in a bath tub or shower. When it come to "water sex", a silicone-based lubricant such as Pure Romance Pure Pleasure is a better choice because it won't get washed away in the tub or shower.

4 Sex should not be painful. Many women experience uncomfortable or painful sex from time to time. Often, a few useful tips can be of help. In my experience, encouraging women and their partners to spend more time on foreplay (which increases vaginal lubrication and helps to expand the vagina), to use a non-irritating lubricant, and to choose positions that give her more control over her body (such as woman on top) have helped many women to have more enjoyable sex without the pain. However, about 15% of women may have a medical condition called vulvodynia, which refers to female genital pain. This pain may occur during sex or even during daily activities such as riding in a car or sitting down at work. Women who have ongoing genital pain or questions about their pain might find it helpul to connect with The National Vulvodynia Association (www.nva.org) for information, support and healthcare provider referrals.

5 Self-pleasuring is good for women. Masturbation is a healthy part of sexuality for many women. In addition, sexual pleasuring (alone or with a partner) can actually keep a woman's genitals healthy by drawing blood flow and oxygen to the genitals and helping to lubricate and keep the vagina moist, all of which can keep the vaginal and vulvar skin strong and healthy. To learn more about vaginal health, read The V Book: A Doctor's Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health.

6 All women have a g-spot. The g-spot is an area of the vagina that some scientists decided to name "the g-spot" because it had been noticed that it was a particularly sensitive area, when stimulated, for some women. That said, just because we all have this area of the vagina (about 1 or 2 inches inside the vagina, on the front wall) doesn't mean that we all find it pleasurable or orgasmic when the g-spot is stimulated. If a woman wants to explore her g-spot, she might find it easier to do so with a bedroom toy, perhaps laying face down on the bed (which puts gentle pressure on the front wall of the vagina).

7 Size may not matter - but fit does. Rather than worrying whether you or your partner are too big or too small, if sex doesn't feel the way you want it to, consider how your bodies fit together. If things feel too "roomy", try using less lubricant or keep a towel nearby to occasionally "dry things off". If penetration feels uncomfortable, you might want to add more lubricant, or take things more slowly (or gently). Also, consider expanding your definition of sex to include oral sex, finger stimulation, toy play, watching each other self-pleasure, passionate kissing or making out, sensual touching and bathing together - activities for which neither size nor fit matter much at all.

8 Stay strong as you age. Aging can throw us a few curveballs. Stay strong by practicing your Kegel exercises which can help with incontinence issues as well as sexual pleasure. Squeeze and release your PC muscles (the same one that, as you're urinating, can stop the flow of urine with a quick squeeze) a few times a day for about 3 to 5 minutes per session. It's a habit that can really pay off over your lifetime.

9 "Bouncing back" after pregnancy takes time. Many healthcare providers tell women that they can resume intercourse six weeks after giving birth. Of course, not all women are ready to get back in the game so quickly. Given the life changes that come with having a new baby in your life (read: lack of sleep, breastfeeding, changes in your relationship) many women and their partners don't resume regular sex until 6 months or even a year following the birth of a new baby. Couples who still crave intimacy often get creative when it comes to sexual sharing - stealing five minutes here and there, snuggling on the couch to promote intimacy, or making the most of your child's time with a babysitter to reclaim your closeness to your partner.

10 Stay healthy, stay sexy. A healthy lifestyle has more to do with sex than you might guess. Gear up for the decades ahead of you by staying fit (ask your healthcare provider what types of exercise like walking, running, cycling, swimming, or team sports might be right for you), eating well (heavy on fruits, vegetable, whole grains and lean proteins), and stearing clear of smoking (it can wreak havoc on your cardiovascular system which has everything to with women's lubrication and men's erections).

11 Your gynecological health matters. Whether or not you are sexually active, you should continue checking with your healthcare provider at least once each year for an annual gynecological exam and learn how often you need a Pap test (some women need Pap tests every 3-6 months; other women may go three years without needing a Pap test). Many insurance companies even allow women to identify their gynecologist as their promary care provider.

12 Mind-body connection. How you feel inside your head can have a lot to do with how you feel about your body and about being sexual with another person. Relaxation can make it easier to orgasm. Telling your partner about your feelings and about what hurts you (as well as what makes you feel good) can help to ease tension between the two of you, identify relationship problems as they come up (rather than months later) and celebrate what's good about your relationship - all of which can help you to feel closer and more apt to be physically intimate.

13 Importance of touch. Touch is crucial to relationships. Don't skimp on hugging, hand holding or cuddling with each other. Touch can help couples to feel closer, to feel loved and to feel relaxed.

14 Every body can be sexy. With society's focus on body size and shape, it's good to step back and remember that we can all be incredibly sexy regardless of our height, weight, or where our curves do (or don't) fall. It's often said that our biggest sex organ is our brain, which speaks to the importance of how we feel about ourselves and our sexual state of mind. Think sexy and you will be sexy.

15 Sex can be great at any age. Whether you're 18 or 80, you can have a wonderful, satisfying, exciting sex life. You can expect changes in your emotional feelings and your physical feelings and in how your body works, and these changes can present you with new experiences and the potential for an enjoyable, sexual life. But, then again, variety is the spice of life - and sex!

The Patty Brisben Foundation participates in several collaborative research studies with various universities including Indiana University. One of the largest research studies is currently headed by Debby Herbenick PhD, MPH, Associate Director of SHRWG (Sexual Health Research Working Group) at Indiana University. She is also a Research Associate for the Department of Applied Health Science and a Health Educator at The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. In addition, Dr. Herbenick works as a sex columnist for various newspapers and magazines across the nation

How To Have Sex In A Car

2010-01-06T21:17:00.000-08:00

Getting off in your car is not as easy as it may sound. For those of you who have ever attempted it, you might have noticed the typical difficulties: avoiding hard objects like seats, steering wheels, dashboards, and gear sticks, and getting into a comfortable enough position to actually finish the job at hand.

Success partly depends on the type of car you have, so you will need to adjust the following suggestions on how to have sex in a car to apply to your own vehicle. These guidelines generally apply to a medium-size, four-door sedan.

Here are some tips to make your ride a little easier.

positions and activities

There are several positions that make sex in a car easier and more fun. When you're trying to figure out how to have sex in a car, consider these maneuvers and locations:

The back seat

This can be woman-on-top or man-on-top, with the bottom participant lying on the back seat or the guy sitting. It works better if you pull the front seats as far forward as you can, to give you more room.

The front passenger seat

Push the seat as far back as it will go and take a seat. Your partner can ride you facing you or facing the windscreen with her hands on the dash for support.

The outside of the car

The hood of the car is a wonderful platform for all kinds of activities: You can go down on her while she rests her legs on your shoulders, her bottom on the edge of the car or you can enter her from front or behind while she leans her body on the hood -- and you get fresh air at the same time.

While driving

Your girl can easily get your appendage in her mouth while you drive -- slowly and carefully, for both of you. Avoid bumps or potholes and keep your eye on the road at all times, and if you feel like you are losing it, pull over immediately. A blow job is not worth damaging your car or losing the use of your legs or worse, your girlfriend's or someone else’s life.

Safety

There are many ways to get into a pickle while you try to have sex in a car: You, your partner’s and Joe Public’s physical safety are of paramount importance, simply because while you are so distracted you can’t keep your eye on other things. The key here is getting sorted before you start. So, park somewhere where you won’t roll off a cliff or get clipped by other vehicles, pull on the hand brake firmly and do your seat adjustments before you start.

Law

Most places in the world prohibit public displays of indecency, which is exactly what you are proposing to do when you try to figure out how to have sex in a car. You can be arrested, you can be fined, and you can be very, very embarrassed. However, in some countries, you can and will be arrested and sent to prison to serve a sentence for being so disrespectful.

Keep these tips in mind when you're figuring out how to have sex in a car

things to keep in mind

Keep handy some tissues or a roll of toilet paper for cleaning up, possibly a small pillow for extra comforts, water or a drink to refresh, and condoms. Avoid candles, as they are a fire hazard.

Cleanliness

You need to make sure you car is clean. Crumpled snotty tissues, takeout containers with old food in them, or McDonald’s cups leaking old flat Coke are not hot, and will detract from your efforts to have sex in a car. Crumbs and sand/dirt on the back seat will be itchy and uncomfortable, so vacuum! Do a quick clean up before your date. Condoms can also help to prevent sticky messes in the car. Without a lecture on safe sex, in a very practical sense they keep you, your girl and your car clean.

Location

Choose your spot reasonably carefully. Keep in mind that any adults or children that may be about don’t need to see you having sex in your car. If exhibitionism is your thing, choose an area that will suit you, i.e., an alleyway in the red light district. Otherwise, choose a quiet spot with some nice scenery, perhaps a nearby waterway, beach or park. If you don’t have a lot of pretty options or gas, an empty parking lot will do the trick. Try to avoid cliche locations where everyone else goes.

Imagination is a virtue: use it.

rev it up

Sex in a car is not always great, but with a little thought and planning, you can use this exciting and interesting location within a location to make a little nasty love. Be careful, use your common sense and show respect to the rest of the world, but have plenty of fun. Get a little more inventive once you get the hang of the above positions and enjoy.

Public Sex Positions

2010-01-06T21:12:00.000-08:00

Public space is there for all to utilize, so it is your duty as a responsible citizen to make good use of these areas. Summer is a great time for getting your gear off in the great outdoors and making the most of the warmth, and what better way to do that then with public sex positions like the ones listed below?

Pig in a Blanket

Locale: Best suited to public parks and beaches.

As the name suggests, you need both a blanket and a pig. Men, being suitably pig-like at times, are designated swine for the outing. Wrap yourselves in a blanket and discreetly wriggle like stuck pigs until you are both satisfied. Save the squealing for later, because there may be people around. Sleeping bags can be used and then you won’t have to worry about naked body parts being suddenly exposed to the outside world -- they also get nice and sweaty with the friction.

Lumberjack

Locale: The woods, naturally.

Simulate sex with a tree in this position. The intermediary is your lover. She is the tree hugger, facing the tree, with her arms around it protecting the tree from your large and violent axe. Enter her from behind, and she will use her otherworldly powers of manipulation to make you forget all about being a callous tree-murderer. Choose your tree carefully, as despite her love for tall leafy greens, she is prejudiced against certain types of trees -- trunks with a lot of scratchy bark are not worthy of her embraces. She likes them long, smooth, and thick.

Pitch a Tent

Locale: Best suited to a flat area ideal for pitching a tent, such as long grass.

Your throbbing member is the tent peg, and your body is the hammer. She is the ground sheet, flat, and spread out, ready for you to make her sturdy and stable with your tools. Peg her to the ground however you need to, and make the most of the ideal position. Once the poles are in, for some variety, she can then make a tent-shape with her body and you can slide the final pole into her satiny fabric -- best done where you would normally pitch a tent.

We've got a few more public sex positions for you to try out under the blazing summer sun.

Bushwhacker

Locale: Backyard/garden.

We’ve all done it, or at least wish we’d done it: Sex in the bushes reminds us of our misspent youth, curfews and naughtiness. You don’t even have to leave your property -- though feel free to do it in other people's. Surely they won’t mind. She doesn’t want to get her clothes dirty or touch the icky ground, so be a gentleman and kneel at her service. Wrap her legs tightly around your waist, and hold her close so she doesn’t have to touch the undergrowth. This way you get the twigs and leaves in your knees and shins as you should, and she gets to have good sex and be treated like the lady she is.

Taking out the Trash

Locale: Back alley.

Men are infamous for shirking their domestic duties, so take an opportunity to redeem yourself: take out the trash, and get her off while you’re at it. Yes, sometimes you probably want to send her off with the dump truck, but this time you are going to make passionate love to the garbage bag: her. The connotations are wrong -- she is the farthest thing from trash that exists in the entire world -- but you get the idea. She is wrapped around your upper torso and you carry her like you might do a large, beautiful sack of rubbish. Enter her body, and revel in the scent of her that is so unlike discarded waste products.

public indecency, prison & fines

It is important to take note of who may be watching, as public indecency is a mortal sin, and shall be punished with embarrassing fines, jail terms, criminal convictions, and the like. Keep out of sight of kids -- mom and dad will probably be offended and disgusted, and parents like nothing more than to severely punish those who decimate their children's pure minds.

take it outside

After a long, cold winter being stuck inside, it is a relief to have hilarious and ridiculous sex somewhere outrageously public. Choose your locations carefully, but without too much aplomb. You're not running for president (and if you are, you might want to reconsider), so keep giggling like school kids, and no matter who comes first, you both win awards for bravery and good humor.

5 Bizarre Sex Tips

2010-01-06T21:08:00.000-08:00

Women have sex in lots of ways… with strange partners, strange toys and in strange settings.

Here are 5 sex acts that may rev some women’s engines, but leave mine stalled:

Wearing furries is a perfectly natural sex activity. Call me crazy, but I’ve never had any fantasies about knocking boots with a Bengal tiger, hooting owl or grizzly bear. Though if a sexed-up bear tried to get in my pants, I just may seduce him long enough to skin his hide and make myself a nifty vest.

Bondage is a major turn-on. About 17% of American women have tried bondage, studies say. Maybe it’s because I’m a fiercely independent modern-day woman, but the idea of someone chaining me to a headboard and whipping me till I shout makes me want to dial 9-1-1.

Pain is pleasurable. Inflicting pain on yourself or someone else while you’re doing the nasty is weird. To most people, blood is frightening. Men can’t even handle talk of menstrual cycles! Why would blood oozing from my ear lobe be any different?

Still, I can appreciate the lengths people will go for good sex. I know a gal who likes to be suffocated in the sack; she says it boosts the strength of her orgasm. (Fair enough.) We call her boyfriend the “Boston Strangler” – behind his back, of course. She swears us non-stranglers are missing out on the best sex ever.
We’ll see how she really feels about her wild, death-defying romps when she’s lying in a hospital bed with a crushed windpipe, rasping like Marlon Brando.

Food as sex toys. Yes, I’ve seen “9 ½ Weeks”; I’ve been hot for Mickey Rourke ever since. But seriously, that food scene makes me want to vomit. There’s nothing sexy about cupfuls of honey dribbling off your face, jalapenos shoved down your throat, and vegetable soup streaming out of your nose. Also, is your partner supposed to kiss you when you have an entire buffet in your mouth? And is it OK to stop and ask, Do I have food in my teeth? This activity is a libido-crusher any way you look at it.

Turn your bedroom into a sexy space. This laughable tip comes courtesy of today’s feature story, 20 Tips for the Best Sex Ever. I agree that candles, flowers and sleek satin can set the mood, but the notion of my bedroom being sexy – even in the slightest – is hilarious! I have a 3-foot-high pile of laundry in one corner; a teetering stack of books and magazines on the nightstand (which threatens the safety of any bed occupant); and a retainer and bleaching tray lost somewhere in the sheets. Some of my friends’ boudoirs have cutesy wood plaques that say “Home Is Where the Heart Is”, photos of family members on every surface, posters of dolphins on the walls, and Hello Kitty junk saturating the room.

I think most ladies will agree: If and when sex happens in our bedrooms, it’s despite the bedroom – not because of it

So what do you think? Am I a prude, or are some of these sex acts more silly than sexy? Can you think of any sex acts that make you want to be celibate?

Top 10 Sex Facts We Bet You Didn't Know!

2009-11-03T00:07:00.000-08:00

So you think you know everything there's to know about sex? Well, you couldn't be more wrong! Various studies and research carried out across the globe reveal many interesting facts about lovemaking and sex, most of which you'll find educational as well as highly surprising.

For instance, did you know that it is actually possible for men to break their penis while having sex? No kidding! Although the male member does not have any bones, it can still break and get fractured if the man is too rough during sex. Such an injury is more common in younger males than older ones (for obvious reasons). This injury can be extremely painful and take a long time to heal.

Here's another sex fact that is not common knowledge - Kissing can help to reduce dental problems such as tooth decaying! More saliva is produced in the mouth when you kiss and as saliva helps to clean your mouth of bacteria, the result is fewer dental problems. So if you want to improve oral hygiene, start kissing!

Didn't we say you'd find these lovemaking facts very interesting?

Sex makes you more intelligent
Medical research has found that sex helps to bring about seven different types of chemical reactions in your brain, all of which optimize the functioning of your brain. Hormones such as serotonin and oxycotin are also released during and after sex, which make you more creative and help in decision making.

Older people are doing it too!
Various studies in America have revealed that people in the age group of 57-85 years still believe that sex is an important part of their lives and are in fact indulging in lovemaking about 2-3 times every month. We will have to wait for similar studies to be conducted in India to know if the same holds true for older Indians as well!

Sex can increase your life span
If you are a man that is. Having sex at least once a week, on a regular basis, has shown to increase a man's life greatly. Men are more likely to live longer than 80 years if they have an active sex life. Lovemaking helps to lower a man's risk of death by heart ailments by 30%, from stroke by 50%, and diabetes by 40%!

But women have more orgasms!
Till a decade back, only about 25% of women who had sex actually had orgasms. However, in the last few years, this figure has gone up to about 45%. Women today also do not fake orgasms as much as they did and are more open to telling their partners if they did not climax

Oral sex can lead to throat cancer
Medical studies have shown that people who have indulged in oral sex with more than 5 partners in their lifetime are at an increased risk of throat cancer. The same does NOT hold true for people with fewer sex partners. Another reason to practice safe sex and remain faithful!

Sex at work is on the rise
Mixing business with pleasure seems to be extremely popular nowadays. Statistics suggest that 1 in every 5 people is indulging in sex with their colleagues at work. Not just that, but lovemaking during office hours is also on the rise; with the boss's desk being the place of choice!

Abstinence does not work
Now there's scientific proof that claims that abstinence programs just do not work. There has been no decrease in unwanted pregnancies or in the number of STD's in spite of various abstinence programs in colleges and universities. Educating youth about safe sex and the consequences of unsafe sex is what needs to be focused upon.

The world's most sexless nation is
...Japan! Yes, Japanese people are more unsatisfied with their sex lives than people of any other nation. More than 35% of married Japanese couples do not indulge in lovemaking at all. Now that's one problem that does not seem to inflict Indians!

Threesome's aren't as rare as you think
About 70% of people fantasize about having group sex at some point in their lives; with a fair majority of such people actually indulging in it. Gay and lesbian lovemaking is also on the rise.

Chocolate may be better than sex!
Eating chocolate turns you on more than sexual foreplay can. It has also been proved that chocolate consumption accelerates your heart beat and increases brain activity more than lovemaking can. But while all this may be true, people would still rather make love over eating a piece of chocolate!

99 Facts About Guys! Believe It Or Not...

2009-11-03T00:03:00.001-08:00

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys love flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!
13. Guys cry!!!!!!!!
14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays!
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.
28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys EUR™ weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting.
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
59. Guys don't really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.
68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they'll realize they're wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!
97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact.
99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships

2009-11-03T00:02:00.000-08:00

[Warning: some images on this list are not work safe] Sex is one of life’s pleasures and it is practiced by most people at least once in their lifetime. This list takes a look at some more unusual facts about sex and sex related topics. Feel free to add your own interesting facts to the comments.

10: Weightloss

Fascinating Fact: Sexual acts lead to weight loss
The average human loses 26 calories when kissing for a minute. Furthermore, vigorous sex for half an hour burns 150 calories (you can lose three pounds in a year – if you have sex 7 to 8 times a month). Kissing is also very good for your teeth: the extra saliva released during the act helps to keep the mouth clean – reducing the risk of decay.

9: Pubic Wigs

Fascinating Fact: In Victorian times, whores wore pubic wigs
The pubic wig (merkin) has been around since the 1400s when it was originally worn by women who had shaved their pubic hair off to prevent lice. In the Victorian times it was frequently worn by prostitutes who wanted to conceal the fact that they had diseases like syphilis (Honest – we aren’t merkin’ this up). They are also used in the film industry to conceal actors genitals in nude scenes.

8: Condoms

Fascinating Fact: Condoms were originally made of animal intestines or linen
In Asia before the fifteenth century, some use of glans condoms (devices covering only the head of the penis) is recorded. In China, glans condoms may have been made of oiled silk paper, or of lamb intestines. In Japan, they were made of tortoise shell or animal horn (ouch). In the 16th century,condoms were often made with linen sheaths soaked in a chemical solution and allowed to dry before use. The cloths were sized to cover the glans of the penis, and were held on with a ribbon. Pictured above is an animal intestine condom from the early 1900s.

7: Not Tonight Josephine

Fascinating Fact: Sex cures headaches
Next time your significant other refuses your advances by claiming to have a headache, remember this fact: the sex act can help to cure a headache. Sex causes the body to release endorphins which naturally reduce the pain of a headache.

6: Skin Care

Fascinating Fact: Sperm is good for the skin
The proteins in sperm have a tightening effect on the skin. When sperm is left to dry, the evaporation of the water in it leaves behind protein which can help to reduce wrinkles. While this may be an excellent anti-aging treatment, the obvious downside is that you have to walk around with sperm on your face.

Just paying the bills...

5: Pubic Hair

Fascinating Fact: Pubic hair is programmed to grow a certain amount
All hair on the body is controlled by a “growth program” which determines the growth duration (and consequently the length) of hair.Pubic hair has a shorter growth duration (on average just a few months) compared to hair on the head. This is what stops pubic hair growing to unmanageable lengths.

4: Blowsy Gal

Fascinating Fact: The term “blow job” comes from the Victorian times
In Victorian times, a slang term for a prostitute was “blowsy”. At the same time, “blow” was slang for ejaculation. Consequently, by the 1930s, the act of fellatio came to be known as a blow job. It was also used to describe jet planes in World War Two. In Ancient Greece, the common slang for a blow job was “playing the flute”.

3: Male Porn

Fascinating Fact: Men looking at male porn produce more sperm
Studies have shown that men who looked at porn of two men and one woman produced more sperm than those who looked at just women. Scientists speculate that seeing competition makes men step up their baby-making capacities.

2: Sex For Fun

Fascinating Fact: Humans aren’t the only creatures to have sex for fun.
Humans aren’t the only members of the animal kingdom that have sex just for fun. Dolphins and Bonobo chimps have also been observed engaging in sexual activity, when they are not in their natural reproductive cycles. With the exception of a pair of Cohan gorillas observed doing so, bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital sex, tongue kissing, and oral sex. When Bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity, presumably decreasing tension and allowing for peaceful feeding. Interestingly, Bonobo chimps also play and experience joy like humans.

1: Animal Prostitution

Fascinating Fact: Some female penguins engage in prostitution
Believe it or not, in the wild, certain female penguins (even when in a committed relationship) will exchange sexual favors with strange males for the pebbles they need to build their nests. According to Dr Fiona Hunter (a zoologist): “It tends to be females targeting single males, otherwise the partner female would beat the intruder up.” On some occasions the prostitute penguins trick the males. They carry out the elaborate courtship ritual, which usually leads to mating. Having bagged their stone, they would then run off. [Source]

Tuesday Thirteen: Sexual Phobias

2009-11-02T23:59:00.000-08:00

Sexual Phobias

Erotophobia is the fear of sexual love or sexual questions.

Eurotophobia is the fear of female genitalia.

Genophobia is the fear of sex.

Malaxophobia is the fear of love play.

Medomalacuphobia is the fear of losing an erection.

Medorthophobia- is the fear of an erect penis.

Oneirogmophobia is the fear of wet dreams.

Paraphobia is the fear of sexual perversion.

Parthenophobia is the fear of virgins.

Ithyphallophobia is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.

Coitophobia is the fear of sexual intercourse.

Philemaphobia or Philematophobia is the fear of kiss.
Gymnophobia is the morbid phobia of being nude.

Don’t worry! I’m not going to ask you if you have any of these phobias.

Tuesday Thirteen- 13 Things not to say during sex

2009-11-02T23:58:00.000-08:00

Things Not to Say During Sex

Are you almost done?
Hunny did you lock the door?
You’re done already?
Try not to mess up my hair will you?
I feel a headache coming on.
Hunny, have you put on some weight?
Again? I’m tired.
Is it in yet?
Stop, I gotta pee.
Are you ok?
Hurry up before the kids get home.
Did you fart?
Was it good for you?

Please feel free to add one of your own in the comment section.

13 Sex Facts – Tuesday Thirteen

2009-11-02T23:57:00.000-08:00

Sex Facts

Did you know?

* Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being

* A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

* The earliest known illustration of a man using a condom during sexual intercourse is painted on the wall of a cave in France. It is dated between 12,000 and 15,000 years old.

* The first condoms in the US were made from vulcanized rubber in the 1870s. They were expensive and annoyingly thick and meant to be reused.

* In Texas it is illegal to sell a vibrator as anything other than a ‘novelty’.

* Only 17% of women are likely to have an orgasm during sex (Durex Global Sex Survey).

* According to a survey of sex shop owners, cherry is the most popular flavor of edible underwear.

* A man will ejaculate approximately 18 quarts of semen, containing half a trillion sperm, in his lifetime.

* 48% of 9,100 men polled on an online dating site say they too have faked an orgasm.

* In ancient Greece and Rome dildos were carved out of everything they could get their hands on from wood, glass, leather, gold, silver and even animal horns.

* The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties.

* A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

* John Harvey Kellogg invented corn flakes as a meatless breakfast food, designed to reduce the sexual drive.

Interesting Sexual Facts about both Animals and Humans

2009-11-02T23:54:00.000-08:00

Men

A man will ejaculate approximately 18 quarts of semen, containing half a trillion sperm, in his lifetime

Men are six times more likely than women to peruse sexually explicit material on the Internet

The smallest erect penis on record was just 1cm long

Three out of a thousand men (0.3%) are well endowed enough to fellate (blow) themselves to orgasm

According to recent surveys, the man is the most likely partner to be tied up during sex

Among primates, man has the largest and thickest penis

Studies have shown that men become sexually aroused nearly every time they dream

Studies show that, for some unknown reason, the higher the level of education, the more men tend to have wet dreams

The male fetus is capable of attaining an erection during the last trimester

At age seventy, 73% of men are still potent.

A man's testicles increase in size by 50% when he is aroused.

The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties.

56% of men have had sex at work.

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200; Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000.

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches; Average length when erect: 5.1.

Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60% (the other 39% lied).

Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%.

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 minutes to 2 weeks.

Average # of erections per day for a man: 11.

Average # of erections during the night: 9.

Odors that increase blood flow to the penis:lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie

Women

About one per cent of women can orgasm solely through breast stimulation.

30% of women over the age of 80 still have sexual intercourse either with their spouse or boyfriends.

Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy both the giving and receiving of oral sex than high school dropouts. (Amazing what one learns in college).

Women are most likely to want to have sex when they are ovulating.

Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand than those with only a Bachelor's degree.

According to Penthouse magazine, more women complain about infrequent sex than men do.

Forty percent of women have said they had an orgasm while dreaming about sex.

That number is 80% for men.

The frequency with which a woman has orgasms during her sleep actually increases as she ages during her childbearing years.

According to Playboy, more women talk dirty during sex than men

It's been estimated that one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple.

A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.

Sperm

Semen contains small amounts of more than thirty elements, including fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol, creatine, citric acid, lactic acid, nitrogen, vitamin B12, and various salts and enzymes.

Sperm banks keep their donor semen at approximately -321 degrees Fahrenheit. At that temperature, it could be kept indefinitely.

There are five calories in a teaspoon of semen.

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour; Time it takes the sperm to travel the distance: 2.5 seconds.

Distance sperm travels to fertilize an egg: 3-4 inches

It takes a sperm one hour to swim 7 inches.

Man VS Animal

Half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with an animal, according to research.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

The black widow spider eats her mate during or after sex.

Around the World

In Medieval France, cheating wives were made to chase a chicken through town NAKED

Australian women have sex on the first date more than women the same age in the USA and Canada.

Today, Japan leads the world in condom use. Like cosmetics, they're sold door to door, by women.

Wyoming’s Grand Tetons mountain range literally means “Big Tits”.

While nudity was considered commonplace to the ancient Greeks, a man was considered indecent if he had an exposed erection

The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by the Egyptians in 2000 B.C. It was replaced with elephant droppings when they realized it wouldn't work.

When men of the Walibri tribe of central Australia greet each other, they shake penises instead of hands.

Female Masturbation: Dealing With Mom

2009-10-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

"I know my Mom found my stash of play things in my bedroom because they had been moved from the way I left them and she has subsequently been acting very coldly to me. I don't feel in the wrong but I don't like her treating me like this. What should I do?"

******

Our parent's generation was even less open than ours on the subject of masturbation. Being confronted with the fact that you are active in this area may be causing her some real problems. If she sees masturbation as 'wrong' then she is working through the conflict of you, who she loves, doing something that she sees as wrong.

Even if she is comfortable with the idea of masturbation then coming to terms with the fact you have grown up and have sexual desires of your own could be difficult for her. It is going to take her time and there is only so much you can do to help. Trying too hard could force her into saying or doing something you may both regret.

Be patient. If she raises the subject then be frank and tell her that you know its natural and normal and that you intend to continue and that you hope she can understand. If she continues to treat you coldly then try to be warm to her and she may well respond as she sees you are still the daughter she loves, no matter what.

The only scenario I have a concern about is if she tries to precipitate a confrontation by removing your toys or trying to insist you do as she wants in her house. (I don't know her so I can't say it won't happen, but it is very unlikely unless you have a problem relationship to start with).

If she takes this stance you can stand your ground or you can agree to do as she asks - then it would be up to you whether you stick to your word or not.

Masturbation myths: Fact or fiction?

2009-10-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

Hands up all those of you who have heard these statements before;

Masturbation:

Will make you go blind.
Will stunt your growth.
Will make you go insane.
Will give you hairy palms
Will give you acne.

Most of us now recognize that the above were just myths but as teens we may well have believed them. Of course if they were true then half the world's population would be blind dwarfs with acne and hairy palms because surveys suggest that over 80% of women and 99% of men masturbate or have masturbated at sometime in their lives.

Many of the sexual myths that survive today have deep roots. For example, around the turn of the century, many adults were so against masturbation that they forced girls to wear gloves made of a wire wool substance at night and would put powder on their genitals that made them painful to touch.

Boys were often forced to wear chastity belts at night so that an erection would cause pain. Sex was not meant to be pleasurable, it was only for making babies. Self-gratification was seen as the lowest form of pleasure back in those days and the foundation for that belief had been laid thousands of years before.

Okay, so I know we, thankfully, don't torture our kids in order to curb what is a natural instinct but masturbation is still seen as wrong by many people. Many of us still feel uncomfortable masturbating into adulthood because of what we were taught or told in those early years by our parents or peers.

Those fears still persist even if we logically know that many are unfounded.

Even between adults many masturbation myths abound.

Ever heard the one about how only losers masturbate as they can't get the real thing?

Or the one that states that couples never masturbate?

In both cases neither is true. Many people masturbate for many reasons the most common ones being:

It's pleasurable.
It helps them relax. It's safer than using tranquilizers and has no side effects.
It is always available when sexual tensions need releasing.
It allows them to have as much gratification as they want, when they want it, and at their own speed.
It is the one form of sex with no risk of disease, pregnancy or emotional upset.
No partner/audience (usually) means they can be less inhibited in their use of toys and any other item they may personally find erotic.
It helps them get to sleep if they are suffering from insomnia.
It gives a degree of relief from the physical discomforts many feel during periods.
It's free!

There are many, many more reasons why people masturbate, the above are just the most common ones.

To be fair there are also people that do not masturbate either for religious or moral reasons. There is absolutely nothing wrong with abstaining from masturbation on any grounds.

The act of masturbation by its very definition is about pleasure. If doing it makes you feel guilty or doesn't give you pleasure then please don't feel that you have to do it.

Some people maintain the belief that if you masturbate you will no longer be a virgin. This is another falsehood. Masturbation will not take away your virginity. A virgin, by definition, is someone who has not had sexual intercourse.

Masturbation isn't sexual intercourse. If you insert your fingers or other objects into your vagina, you may disrupt your hymen (the membrane that stretches across the opening and is typically broken during first-time sex).

But if you have not had sex, then you are still a virgin. There are many ways a woman can break her hymen accidentally without having sex, and none of them take away her virginity.

Married/cohabiting couples never masturbate is yet another common myth.

In fact the reverse is often true. Mutual masturbation can often add to intimacy in a relationship and open channels of communication between a couple. Many people feel that they are failing in some way if they discover their partner is masturbating.

This again is just not true in most cases. Often in a relationship one partner has a higher sex drive than the other, sometimes one partner may work away. If it worries or concerns you try and talk to your partner about why they feel they have to masturbate. You may just be surprised by the answers.

Pregnant woman shouldn't masturbate is another.

There is no medical evidence to suggest that this will harm the child or Mother in anyway. New studies are showing that an orgasm can be a natural way to induce labor in the later stages of a pregnancy. This research is still in it's infancy but many nurses have long recognized this fact. There was a thought that orgasm could lead to premature labor and delivery, however new studies are now finding this is not always the case.

Masturbation is a natural stress reliever and can therefore benefit a pregnant woman in the latter part of pregnancy when perhaps penetrative sex becomes more difficult to achieve. HOWEVER, if you do have a history of premature labor, it is always best to check with your physician.

Masturbation is, in fact, probably the safest form of sex that anyone can practice. Remember you can't get pregnant or any STD's from masturbating but you can learn a lot about your own sexuality and body. The only time masturbation could present a real problem is if it becomes an obsession.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall (Or In My Hand)...

2009-10-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

Masturbation! One of my very favorite things! I've been reading about other women's experiences and thought I'd add some of my own.

Just the idea that other women will be reading this is a big turn-on. A couple of days ago I read a post on the discussion board about using a mirror when you masturbate and I decided to share some of my experiences. If any other girls would like to share e-mail's about masturbation, I'd really love to hear from you.

Watching myself in a mirror, including holding a hand-mirror between my legs, while I masturbate is a big turn-on for me. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist anyway and doing it in front of a mirror and fantasizing that the girl in the mirror is doing it right along with me and watching is something I just love to do.

I have a chair in just the right position near the full-length mirror in the bedroom and I have made good use of it on many occasions. I also love looking at my cunt while holding a hand-mirror and seeing all the changes.

When I was going through puberty I used a mirror almost every day to examine my cunt, noting the changes as I developed and my pubes were growing in. From simply "examining" it was just a short step to watching myself masturbate, using either a hand mirror or standing in front of a full-length mirror.

When I did it in front of the full-length mirror I would fantasize that someone (usually a girlfriend, but sometimes a group of guys) was standing on the other side of the mirror watching me and that fantasy always brought me to orgasm in a matter of just a few minutes.

I now have a two-sided hand-mirror and the mirror on one side magnifies. It's absolutely awesome to see my inner lips go from a real pale pink to a much darker shade and get all swollen, along with my labia that get really "puffy" and to see my wetness increase as I continue to stimulate myself with either my fingers or my favorite toy, an electric massager.

It's hard for me to keep my eyes open and focused at the moment of orgasm and when I can afford it I'm going to get a camcorder to record myself masturbating and having an orgasm...or many orgasms.

I love having sex in front of a mirror and watching myself and my partner; another big turn-on. I've used my magnifying mirror several times so I could get a really good view of his cock sliding in and out of me and that's another big turn-on.

I very much like being watched masturbating by my boyfriend (and watching him, too) and have had this experience (watching and being watched) with several guys, the first time when I was about 14. Guys seem to really get turned-on watching a girl masturbate and they also get off by jacking-off in front of a girl, at least in my experience.

One of my major fantasies (but, so far, it hasn't happened in real life) is to masturbate with another girl and very often I will fantasize while I'm masturbating that some girl I know is there with me, both of us masturbating and watching each other.

Another fantasy is that I'm lying on the floor, naked and masturbating, and a group of about 6-8 people, both guys and chicks, are kneeling around me, all of them naked and masturbating, too. We pace ourselves and all cum at the same time, the guys shooting on my boobs (something else I like a lot).

I think that I've been really curious about masturbation since I first learned how when I was 10. I talked with my girlfriends about how how good it felt and some of them were just totally grossed out but I know that at least some of them, and probably all (but they wouldn't admit it) tried it out and liked it as much as I did.

I learned about masturbating and orgasms both by just experimenting, like I suppose most girls do, touching myself "down there" and liking the feelings and also from reading.

When I was young I read all the time (and still do, which probably explains my being a journalism/lit major in college). My parents had a small (but to me very interesting) collection of sex books in their bedroom.

They didn't really hide them and I discovered them about the same time I discovered the wonderful world of masturbating. I learned that what I was doing was called masturbation and the feeling I got was an orgasm. I learned a lot more, too, and was very eager to try out a lot of things.

One of the books was "The Joy of Sex" (if you haven't read it, I strongly recommend it). The explicit drawings are just incredibly erotic and I think that ever since I became sexually active at 17

I've probably tried all the positions and activities at least once with more than a few partners, including mutual masturbation.

I've tried a lot of different methods, including inserting various things in my vagina when I was younger.

This wasn't all that much of a sexual turn-on, other than it being kind of "naughty" and, other than my fingers, I very seldom use anything inside me when I masturbate. I've tried "humping" and when I was younger that was somewhat of a turn-on and I could make myself cum that way, but it took awhile.

The shower massager definitely works for me, as do the water jets in a swimming pool. I've experimented with a few other methods - leaning up against the corner of a washing machine during the spin cycle (hey, it works!), rubbing against the arm of a sofa, electric toothbrush (that works pretty good, too).

I discovered toys about the same time I discovered my parents' library of sex books. My mother had a vibrator hidden under some stuff in her bedstand and it knew immediately what it was for. I remember that my reactions to this discovery were mixed...I felt guilty about snooping, aroused and, at the same time, I had a reaction of "ewwwww." I mean I knew that my parents had sex.

They were pretty open about sex and on occasion I would hear them doing it - there was really no doubt about what the noises meant. But the idea of my mother masturbating and having a vibrator...well, that was a revelation. Yes, I did try it out (her vibrator) and it was just incredible. At the same time, I felt really weird about using it - I mean, it was my mother's! But that didn't stop me and I "borrowed" it on many occasions and couldn't wait to get my own.

When I was 17 I had a 21 year old boyfriend for awhile and he was only too happy to go into a sex store and get me my first vibrator. It was the same kind my mother had - the bullet-shaped battery-operated type - and I put it to good use.

At the same time I was looking for something that was "stronger" and I was still 16 when I discovered what I consider to be the best toy of all, an electric massager (I now have two different ones).

This discovery came about when I was baby-sitting for a couple in their 30s who I thought were pretty hot and did a little snooping (OK, I know, that probably sounds really terrible and I guess it is, but I'll bet there are a lot of other people who have done it, too).

I actually found it in their bathroom - it was called a "muscle relaxer." Well, of course I had to plug it in and when I started it, holding it against my hand, I knew instantly that I absolutely must see what it was like in other places (like my clit). At first I just held it against my cunt through my jeans and that was just intense enough to make me want to find out what this thing could really do.

Well, as you can probably imagine, it took me about 2 secs to get my jeans and panties off and when I touched the massager to my clit I about went through the roof. I had never felt anything so intense in my entire life.

By this time I had been sexually active for a couple of years (longer than that if you don't count just intercourse) and had experienced fingers, tongues, cocks and, of course, my vibrator.

None of them even came close to the intensity of the sensations I felt with that massager. I came not once or twice but what seemed like innumerable times, one after another, until I couldn't cum any more.

The massager was a "Magic Wand" and it is truly awesome.

The only thing is that it was a little bit noisy and kind of big to be able to hide easily. I wanted one of my own so badly, but there was just no way I could figure out how to get one and keep it hidden. If my mom had found it I would've died of embarrassment.

But I babysat for this same couple on the average of once a week and the massager got a good workout every time. There was also a hand-mirror there that I could use and many times I used it along with the wand and the experience was fantastic. Part of the thrill was doing something so "naughty" - using another woman's sex toy - and I definitely enjoyed myself.

OK, back to the mirror thing for a minute...I've made use of mirrors in several different places.

Dressing rooms in stores for one, especially those that have a bench you can sit on facing the mirror. Usually I'll only do it if the dressing room has a door, not a curtain like in a lot of places.

Once I took the chance with a curtain and almost got caught...a woman walked by and I could see her feet as she stopped for a few seconds outside the dressing room I was in and I suddenly realized that she could probably see me reflected in the mirror.

I was tempted to just go ahead and finish (I've had a lot of fantasies about being caught and whoever it was that caught me joining in) but I chickened out and was dressed and out of there in about 2 minutes.

I've masturbated in many other places, and on two occasions that I can remember, more to be just a little wild more than anything else, I've used a makeup mirror - in a ladies room once and once in a secluded area in a park.

I was sitting with my back against a tree, wearing jogging shorts and just started feeling horny. So I took my mirror out of my purse and pulled my shorts aside and went for it.

Other places? A lot, really. In front of the full-length mirror in my dorm room last year (I was a freshman and had to live on campus), but that was always kinda risky because my roomie might walk in any minute.

I don't want to give the impression that the only times or ways I masturbate is when I can watch myself. Actually, that's only a really small percentage of the time. I usually masturbate at least once a day, pretty often more than that. I have a boyfriend and we do it in front of each other a lot, too.

One of these days I hope that I can experience my fantasy of doing it with another girl. In the meantime, the "other girl" will be in the mirror, doing it right along with me.

Next Time You Masturbate, Just Think...

2009-10-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

There are about 6 billion people on the planet, half are women = 3,000,000,000
Five out of seven are of an age where they are likely to masturbate, or are at least able to = 2142857143
About 60% of women masturbate (source Kinsey etc) = 1285714286
Women seem to masturbate about twice a week on average (our survey and reading around) - 2571428571 sessions starting per week.
= 734693877 sessions starting per day, or 30612244 per hour, or 510204 per minute, or 8503 per second (That must mean 8500 female orgasms per second in the world!)
An average session (excluding multiple orgasm women) lasts 4 minutes (source Kinsey) so 2040816 women, on average, are masturbating at any time....

SO YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!

Female Masturbation: Risky Practices

2009-10-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

The Internet is full of masturbation ideas and techniques for girls and women to try out for themselves. Unfortunately many of these ideas are probably little more than male fantasies, put up by males for their own entertainment, rather than for our enlightenment.

This would not be a problem if the ideas put on the net were all safe but this is not the case and there has to be a real danger that someone is going to hurt themselves if they try to test out some of the things they read.

For this reason we are providing some advice, not on does and don’ts, as its up to you what you do, but more on the risks and safeguards you should know about before indulging in some of the suggested activities.

The information given is not complete. Someone somewhere will have put up details of a practice we don’t yet know about and so by definition we can’t write about its risks. If you read about any unusual and potentially risky practices please let us know and we will do our best to hunt out and post any relevant information for you.

Water Play

The average tub, shower, and Jacuzzi, and yes, even the bidet, can be transformed in a place of masturbation bliss! Many sources describe the pleasure to be had from directing water jets from showerheads, faucet, Jacuzzis jets, etc at the genitals. The attraction is that the speed and stream style of the water can be controlled, which adds to making the experience more exciting.

Provided the jet is directed onto the vulva and not into the vagina, the water temperature is not too hot or too cold, and if the water pressure is kept at a comfortable pressure, the practice is safe and fun.

The risks come if these guidelines are not followed. Water play into which the jets are directed into the vagina can potentially cause damage and in some instances can result in a condition called an embolism, which is often fatal.

If the water gets too hot, as can happen on many showers because someone else turns on a faucet else where in the house, puts you ate risk for a scalding burn. Lying under the facet can also add, but again be aware of the potential water changes in temperature.

"Using the water massager from the shower, I can control my orgasm by varying the water pressure on my clit."

"The water spilling out of the faucet directly on my clit relaxes me and eventually my orgasm comes in incredible waves."

"I love the feel of the water streaming from the showerhead onto my balls as I stroke my cock. I cum harder and faster."

Sex Toys

Whether you buy your toys from a reliable source, or create some of your own from things found around the house, sex toys need to be kept clean and hygienic to prevent infection.

Rubber items, including dildos, gloves, sleeves off vibrators and even rubber clothing can harbor bacteria, but chlorine based disinfectants should NOT EVER be used on toys as this can throw off the good vs bad bacteria ratio in the vaginal canal.

Remember to rinse after cleaning and dry the item completely before putting away. (Washing up after masturbating may not sound like fun but it will ensure your toys are safe and ready for the next time). For more information on the care and cleaning of sex toys, please refer to the Adult Toy Section.

"Adding a vibrator to my masturbation sessions has made my orgasms more intense and I love the control I have developed in using one."

"I use an anal vibrator which is held secure in my ass, and while it buzzes, I stroke my cock. The orgasms couldn't be any better."

Food And Vegtables

Bananas, carrots, cucumbers, and corncobs, are probably some of the commonly used sex toys, given that they are easily obtainable, have no stigma attached when buying, and promoted for use by all sorts sources.

Many a girl or woman have enjoyed the experience of using such items as makeshift dildos but there are risks to be taken into account if you want to use them for masturbation pleasure. Any item to be inserted into your body must be cleaned thoroughly as many fruits and vegetables will have dirt, chemicals or yeast spores on their skins when purchased.

Nothing should be inserted that could break and leave parts inside you. Items that are too short to leave a ‘handle’ when inserted to the required depth are a risk too. Additional risks come from the fact that some foods may leave sugars behind that could encourage yeast growth (thrush).

Eating the item after use is a matter of choice but it would be safest to wash it thoroughly before consuming it, given the slight risk of bacterial infection. (Anally inserted items are obviously more dangerous than vaginally used items.)

"I have been using cucumbers for years and find them to be the easiest, cheapest, and safest item to use. People just think I love salads!"

"I use carrots for anal play and simply throw them away when I am done. I have been doing this since I was a young teen."

Anal Insertion

Dildo and object insertion into the rectum can be pleasurable but there are dangers to be taken into account.

Firstly, there is the risk of mechanical injury. If the dildo is too large or is not sufficiently lubricated before being inserted the anus and inner walls of the rectum may be torn or bruised. If the dildo is worked over enthusiastically, as may happen if a partner is using it on you the risk of injury is also increased.

Secondly, there is the risk of losing an inserted item. If the object inserted does not have a flange or similar at the base it may accidentally be pushed in too far and become lost. Even strings attached to the object may not be enough to enable recovery and a visit to the hospital may be the only option. Thirdly, there is a risk of infection.

Objects inserted have to be thoroughly cleaned before and after use. Failing to do this can result in bacteria from the rectum being introduced to other parts of the body where the object is used (vagina or mouth) and can lead to cross infection if you share the toy with a partner.

It should be noted that most dildos and household items you may want to insert are porous and can harbor bacteria even after the surface is thoroughly washed. Silicone toys are safe but for anything else consider using a condom each time you play to stop the toy becoming contaminated.

"Adding anal play has greatly increased the sensation I get when I masturbated." (Male)

"My friend and I were playing one day and he inserted marbles into his ass. He ended up in the emergency room so they could dig them out."

Electric Shock

One of the most talked about sex toys (and for good reason) are the electric massagers. These things are great and are usually safe but you have to remember that electricity has the potential for being dangerous.

Using any electrical device near or in water is especially dangerous; however there are some companies that advocate the use of the toys in the shower and this is total nonsense. Also, keep in mind that many of the personal massagers have a heating element to them, and this can be harmful to the genital tissues if over heated.

Remember that some of the more popular lubrication jells are water based so if you like to lube up before using your massager keep the gel off the switch and out of any openings the massager may have.

It is also important to keep an eye on the condition of the massager and its wire components.

Some women have massagers of 10 or more years of age and these are often hidden away in rough conditions where the wires can be damaged. If your massager is looking warn or damaged why not treat yourself to a new, safer one.

"The nice thing about my personal massager is no one really knows what I do with it late at night when I am all alone."

"My wife and I share her vibrator. Her clit gets a workout and then my balls. Sharing toys now is so much better than sharing them as kids."

ICE PLAY

Increasing references exist to the practice of putting ice cubes or Popsicles into the vagina or anus, or rubbing them on the clitoris.

Ice straight from the freezer can be very dangerous. It is so cold and requires so much heat to bring it up to melting point that it can and will freeze liquids it touches and can stick to your skin. (Remember the scene in Dumb and Dumber with the ski lift pole and the tongue?) Tissue damage and days of pain are likely consequences of using ice of this temperature.

Using ‘warmer’ ice, where it is already becoming wet and has not got that ‘smoking’ effect when in warm air, is less dangerous. If you want to try cold sensations on your body stick with ice of this type. Inserting ice is a different matter.

If ice on your clitoris is uncomfortable you simply have to move it away but if you have inserted a cube, removal may be tricky or impossible, with the result that you would just have to put up with the discomfort/pain until the ice melted away on its own. Consider this before popping one inside!

"My husband and I tried using a Popsicle one hot summer evening, but unfortunately things never got going. The pain I felt after I removed the Popsicle from my vagina was unreal. Never again."

"I suck on ice then my husband's penis, then rinse my mouth with warm water. The change in temperature sensations on his penis send him right over the edge."

"I hold the ice over my wife's nipples and as it melts in my hands and drips on them, she seems to become more excited."

Bottles And Bulbs

Just like babies are known to put just about anything in their mouths, there are adults who will put just about anything in their vaginas and rectums for sexual pleasure.

Don't.

Common sense must prevail here or serious injury could result. You should never insert anything that has the potential to break into the rectum or vagina. This would include, but is not limited to bottles, wooden items, sharp plastic items, and metal wires.

Sadly, the Internet is full of masturbation pictures in which items that are not safe are used for masturbation pleasure, which leads people to believe they are safe.

An increasing number of these pictures and the related stories suggest that glass bottles and light bulbs make good dildos. These and any other brittle/fragile object can break easily which can lead to internal lacerations and bleeding.

Just imagine the injury, pain and embarrassment that one of these things could cause if it broke during masturbation.

It is much safer to stick with objects that cannot break and potential damage your insides.

"Finding things around the house to use was always a challenge and I know I used things that were dangerous."

"I once used a hairbrush with the bristles inside of me. I ended up with some bleeding that eventually went away, but it scared the hell out of me.

Vacuum Cleaner Masturbation

Many people have the idea of using the household vacuum cleaner to stimulate themselves to orgasm.

A couple of things that need to be considered if this is an idea you want to try out:

Hygiene: the vacuum will have been used to clean up dirt and dust and will be likely to harbor lots of things you would not really fancy on your genitals (dust mites, hairs, dust, cigarette ash, stuff off the bottom of people’s shoes and lots of bacteria).

How a used vacuum could be made hygienic is beyond us so the only safe option would be to go for a new unit.

Suction: if the head of the cleaner is put into contact with your skin while the motor is running it could cause a painful ‘love bite’.(hickey). NEVER, ever place your penis directly into the vacuum unit.

The motor is run with blades and you could damage your penis with severe lacerations!

"I have put my cock in the vacuum tube, but I am not sure it added to the overall experience."

"I have heard some horror stories, so no thanks!"

Sensitizing Creams And Substances

The sex industry sells mild irritant creams that make the genitals feel hot or tingly. Such creams usually go under names like ‘Female orgasm cream’ and are, provided you are not sensitive (allergic) to them and you use them in moderation, reasonably safe to use.

As a tip, if you are new to a cream first try it on as small an area of your vulva as possible and be ready to wash it off with cold water if the reaction is uncomfortable. Others advocate the use of other irritants on the genitals as a way of increasing sensitivity and pleasure. Substances such as ginger powder, toothpaste and muscle rubs are suggested.

There are potent chemicals, which can give a long lasting and intense irritation to the sensitive tissues, so their use should only be contemplated if you are prepared for the possibility of significant pain and discomfort.

Be careful!! Know what the product does and it is potential side effects.

"I accidentally discovered that Vicks cream can add a 'spark' to my clit when rubbed. I use it, but only a tiny, tiny dab."

"I have used one of the creams that say my orgasm will be more intense. I was robbed. I felt nothing different except my vagina felt hotter."

Piercing

There is quite a fad for body and genital piercing and pictures of those that have had it done are all over the Internet. Claims that having labial, clitoral and nipple piercings gives sensual pleasure are common.

Maybe they do and maybe they don�t but if you are considering finding out for yourself, remember the following:

Piercing is only really safe when done by an expert and when recommended hygiene and aftercare rules are followed. If you go to a �backstreet� practitioner the risk of infection is high with hepatitis, septicemia and even AIDS being possible risks. Doing it yourself is also risky.

You would have to get sterile and noble(gold or platinum) jewelry, you would have to take care of any infection risk from the tools used and from bacteria on or around the area to be pierced and you would have to ensure bacterial and fungal infections could not take hold while your wounds heal.

On top of this is the likelihood that doing it yourself would be painful, slow and possibly would not give such a pleasing result as would a professional. If you still want to have body jeweler, take our advice, get it done by a registered professional.

Anorgasmia - If you can't orgasm through masturbation then read this.

2009-10-27T06:26:00.000-07:00

It seems that just about everywhere you look these days there is information or stories about how to have more intense orgasms, how to have multiple orgasms or how to have a 'G' Spot orgasm with ejaculation.

It would be easy to get the impression that with so much attention being given to attaining these higher levels of performance that everyone must have learned how to masturbate to a 'simple' single clitoral orgasm long ago. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth.

Many women would desperately love to be able to have an orgasm of any description and by any means as they have never had a climax, have only achieve one on rare occasions or have some how lost the ability to climax. This section lays out some advice to these women to help them discover or rediscover the pleasure of being orgasmic.

Our Starting Point

There are many reasons why a girl or woman may be unable to have an orgasm when she masturbates (technical term is anorgasmia). Basically put though, all these reasons can be grouped into three classes.

These are medical, where there is an underlying cause for which medical help should be sort; physical, where its a case of ineffective physical stimulation being the cause; and mental, where its mental attitude or generally low arousal levels that are the problem.

The next three links will provide you with information on the three types of causes of anorgasmia.

Medical problems

Mental arousal

Physical stimulation

Some Final Thoughts

Through these pages we have tried to give some basic information as to how anorgasmia, no matter what its cause, can be tackled. These are not instant fixes though, and you will have to work at resolving your problem over time.

Do not be put off if it takes a while though, as published research shows high success rates among women dealing with this problem and the end result should be well worth the efforts!!

If there are any further pieces of information you would like to see on these pages that could help you overcome anorgasmia please let us know. We would like to make the pages as useful as possible and your comments may well help us to achieve this aim.

Female Masturbation: Techniques

2009-10-27T06:19:00.000-07:00

Sooner or later the majority of us learn to achieve an orgasm from masturbatory activity of some sort or another. Once we find a way of 'getting off' it can be the easy option to stick with that method all the time.

Though that may be fine if all you want is a surefire orgasm, 'variety is the spice of life', and a few alternative techniques may just add something to your fun. In this section we have recorded a whole range of techniques that we have tried or which we have heard of and think sound practical and fun. Feel free to try any or all of them, add to them if you want and, of course, let us have details of your special ways of getting off.

The simple truth is there are as many different masturbation techniques as there are women masturbating, and that's more than you might think!! If you've never tried to masturbate before then I suggest you begin by using what you have at your fingertips, umm, your fingertips, before moving onto more advance techniques and spending your hard cash on sex toys.

Toys are great but I personally think there is no better way to explore yourself than with your own fingers, after all you expect your partner to!

Fingers

Most girls probably first discover masturbation by innocently touching their genitals with their fingers. Its therefore probably not surprising that hand and finger stimulation of the vulva and clitoris is reported to be the most common method of masturbation among women.

It is also the easiest as nothing extra is needed for a satisfying session. So how to best do it. Nothing is ever as simple as 'one best way for all' so some real life examples picked up from various sources is possibly the best way of illustrating what is involved:

Lying on the bed facing up with legs together and ankles crossed. Index finger slipped between the labia majora so that it presses along the length of the clitoris.

Gentle but firm wrist movements to make the inserted finger rub the clitoris in up and down, side to side and circular motions. Speed and strength of movement increased as excitement builds. Sensations increased by squeezing thigh muscles together at same time as finger rubbing clitoris.

Lying on back with legs drawn up and knees allowed to flop apart. Palm of hand placed on pubic mound and fingers allowed to rest on open vulva. Movement of hand to stimulate clitoris in side to side, up and down, circular and gentle pinching movements.

Lying face down on bed with both hands underneath and between legs. Fingers pressed against vulva and clitoris.

Pelvic thrusts to move the genitals up and down against the fingers.

Sitting in a comfortable chair with legs well spread. Taking clitoris between the tips of both index fingers, rolling it around and pulling back on its hood to get maximum stimulation.

Water Play.

Who would have thought that two chemicals, namely hydrogen and oxygen,could be used to give you as a female pleasure, but it's true there are more ways to masturbate in water than you might think. Think bath tub here, think shower and think Jacuzzi/hot tub. All three can be used to great effect in the wonderful world magic kingdom of clitorial massage.

Shower

Let's look at the most common technique which involves the use of that neat little tool, the shower head.

The hand held kind are especially useful for this approach. The first thing you want to do is adjust the temperature so that it is not too hot for the sensitive area of the vagina. You can always turn up the heat once you are accustomed to the temperature.

Then find a comfortable position - either sitting on a seat within the shower, or lying down in the tub. Shower stalls can be a bit confining for this form of masturbation, but there is usually enough room to sit on the floor with your legs bent.

I suggest for the first time that you do this that you not stand. I've found that when I'm nearing climax that my legs tend to weaken, and we don't want any unnecessary trips to the emergency room when you accidentally slip and fall.

Now, take the shower head and let the water spray over your body, feel the tingling sensations as it sprays against your breasts. Imagine the sensations are being created by the hands of your lover and spray where you want to feel the touch. Slowly make your way down your torso to your vaginal area.

Spreading your legs, let the water reach up and down the insides of your thighs, and when your ready for advancing, move it closer to your clit. Remember that direct contact with your clit may be overpowering, so try moving the water stream back and forth. Try bringing it closer, and moving it farther away to cover a larger area.

You also might note that shower massagers come with many different settings to adjust the streams of the water - everything from mist to pulse. Experiment, try them all! Start with the lightest amount of pressure and work your way up.

If you are sitting, you can always operate the water with one hand, and use the fingers on the other hand to either stimulate your breasts and nipples, or you can insert a finger or two and see how that feels.

The main point is to relax and let your body feel all that is happening to it. If it feels good, keep doing it. If it's not right, try sitting in a different position, change the water temperature, try a different pulse setting anything that makes if feel better.

Bath Tub

Now we can move onto the bathtub. Like the shower head the bathtub holds many ways to excite and masturbate. Many women, myself included, enjoy lying on their backs in their bathtub and allowing the water from the faucet to wash over their vagina. This isn't always the easiest of positions to achieve but it can be great fun.

Fill the tub with water about halfway. Lie on your back, and bring your buttocks up so they are against or almost against the end of the tub with the faucet. Position your vagina as directly below the faucet as possible. Adjust the temperature and pressure of the water flow to your liking; you might have to tilt up your pelvis to bring your vagina closer to the water flow of the faucet.

It might help to use one or both hands to spread open your labia (vagina "lips") so the water can flow directly onto your clitoris. Just one word of warning here, make sure the water isn't too hot!

There is nothing worse that scolding your pussy and it certainly isn't pleasurable. Once you have found the right position, lie back, relax, fantasize, and enjoy!

"Occasionally I bring myself to orgasm in the bathtub. First I excite myself with fingers, and then I let the water on and get into an acrobatic position so my vagina is directly under the faucet. I start with the water warm or cool and at a low pressure on my clitoris. When I have gotten excited I run the water harder and lift myself closer to the water and let it pound into my vagina and then I come and it's the most fantastic feeling."

Another technique that can be fun involves filling an empty detergent bottle (one with a nozzle) or shampoo bottle with warm water. Sit in a full bath tub, ensuring your vulva is at least a couple of inches under water. Put the nozzle of the bottle as close as you like to your clitoris and squeeze.

After each squeeze the bottle will spring back into shape, sucking in more water so there will be no need to stop for a refill.

Jacuzzi/Hot Tub

If your lucky enough to own a hot tub/Jacuzzi,then the chances are you're already aware of the wonderful effects that the water that flows from it's jets can have on your body. I like to begin by simply relaxing in the tub and allowing the water to wash over me.

At this point I'll open my mind and begin to fantasize, sometimes touching my breasts, other times just lying back and relaxing.

Once my mind is aroused, I'll turn towards the water jets and position my vagina clitoris so it's directly in the path of the flowing water. A word of caution here: Never position yourself to close to the jet, as the flow of water is normally very strong from these jets.

Begin by placing a fair amount of distance between yourself and the water jet and then move closer until you discover a spot that places just the right amount of pressure on your clitoris. Once you've found the right position, relax and enjoy the soothing sensation of the water as it washes over your body.

Vibrator Play

For those of us that take rather a long time to reach orgasm, continued manual stimulation becomes quite tiring and wrist fatigue has probably prematurely ended countless masturbation sessions for many women. If this is the case then the answer could well be to make the very small investment required to buy a vibrator.

When it comes to vibrators there are basicaly two types. Those operated by batteries and those that require mains electric. Whichever type you choose it's important to realise that both types are powerful although in general the mains electric ones more so.

It's a good idea not to use a vibrator directly on your clitoris the first time you ever try one because of this.

You might well find that the stimulation they afford is too intense, so I'd suggest that you first try placing it on your labia or your mons. You may even want to try using it whilst you have your panties on as this can produce a different more subtle sensation than direct clitoral contact. Don't be afraid to try new things, they aren't called sex toys for nothing. The idea is to have fun and find what works for you personally.

One thing that is often over looked when people first try vibrators is lubricants. Just simply adding a small amount of lubricant on your choosen toy before you begin playing can greatly enhance your experience. Just be sure that the lubricant is sutiable for use with the vibrator of your choice. For more information on Vibrators and their use I suggest you visit the Adult Toy Section at SeductionEmporium.

Apart from commercially shop brought vibrators there are other vibrating devices that you could press into service for fun. For example, the back of the head of an electric tooth brush is great fun. The fact that it is really narrow allows it to be kept on the clitoris even if you like to squeeze your legs while you play. Automatic washing machines during spin cycle - if you can sit on it - are great.

Electric shavers can be fun too, but you have to cover the cutting head. (I used this method as a girl at home several years ago. I would remove the cutting screen and would use sticking plasters to wrap the cutting head to make a padded surface with which to stimulate myself.) -

Look around, you will find loads of things that vibrate in kitchens, bathrooms and garages and many can be used to masturbate, provided there are no sharp or moving parts that could hurt you.

Thigh squeezing

Some women can achieve sexual pleasure -- even orgasm -- by simply squeezing or rubbing their thighs together, thus indirectly stimulating the clitoris. This technique can even be used in public! Without risk as there is nothing to show what you are doing and you can remain fully dressed! Long bus ride? Boring desk job or classroom? No problem!

Suggestions for getting started:

When masturbating at home, make it a habit to press together your thighs when you orgasm.

After that becomes second-nature, press your thighs when you can't stop yourself from having an orgasm (but haven't yet), and then pull your hands away -- leave it up to your legs to ride yourself over the top. You're bound to have a few frustrating flameouts, but the practice is worth it.

Eventually, with the help of fantasy and association, you'll be able to proceed using only your thighs from earlier and earlier in the masturbation process.

Some women seem to prefer "riding the seam" of jeans; others like the greater closeness of hose or bare legs under a skirt or dress. Experiment to find what works for you.

"Rythmically squeezing your thighs is intensely pleasurable, even if you don't orgasm. And when you do......well, it is amazing. Especially if you are in a place where you could get caught!"

"I am so sensitive I do not even wear pants, only skirts and dresses. I have to sit squeezing myself with my thighs to keep some control over the sensation when I sit down. it really is a problem to be turned on all of the time."

Dildo play

A word of warning here. Care should always be taken when inserting any object into yourself.

Excessive size or over enthusiastic movements can cause internal bruising or worse. Small objects or items that can break or shed parts can cause real problems, such as cutting or internal losses, both of which could require medical assistance to fix. Hygiene too has to be considered.

Any germs on an inserted item are going to get into you and could cause infections of various types, it is often a good idea to place a condom over your choosen object. So be warned, if you want to insert something make sure it's safe.

Whatever you choose to insert, it will technically be a dildo, as dildo is the name for a substitute penis used for penetrative masturbation. For this reason we will just use the word dildo but you can read it as being whatever you have to hand (hair brush handle, carrot, candle etc..).

First off, try to ensure your vagina is well lubricated, either with natural juices or some fporm of lubrication such as astroglide. Take it easy with the insertion, especially if the object you are using is larger than say a couple of fingers in diameter.

Moving the dildo in and out gives a pleasant feeling but experiment with stirring actions and trying different angles of insertion. An angle where the head of the dildo is going to rub up the front wall of your vagina may be especially nice for you (it rubs on your 'G' spot).

Working the dildo only takes one hand so it may be fun to use the other elsewhere, such as on your clitoris. This is the most likely way to have an orgasm as few women orgasm from vaginal stimulation only (though it is nice). It can also be fun to combine a didlo with a vibrator at this point as well, or perhaps invest in the type of dildo that also vibrates.

As with all masturbation the key is to be comfortable. A few positions that may suit you include:

Standing with one foot raised on something like a chair so that you can get access.

Lying on the floor or on a bed with both legs drawn up and knees spread

Kneeling with knees wide apart. This can be enhanced by having a soft chair to lean forward onto. If the dildo is long enough to touch the floor and be inside you at the same, this can be an especially nice position, as pelvic thrusts will move the shaft inside your vagina without you needing to use your hands at all leaning back against a wall with your legs spread.

Dildos can also be used externally to good effect, especially the softer latex/silicone types that are commercially available. To try this option grease up your dildo with plenty of lube, place it in a flat surface that you can straddle (pile of cushions, arm of a sofa, edge of a bath tub etc) and sit on it so that it runs the length of your vulva from clitoris to anus.

Slide your body back and forth so that your weight pushes your clitoris and other sensitive parts down onto the shaft as it slides through between your labia majora, and slide to and fro. If this becomes tiring then hold the position, grab the end of the dildo that is sticking out the front and work it back and forth against yourself.

It is worth considering issues of dildo size, especially if you are going to spend on a commercial one. First don't believe the myth that bigger is always better. The best is the one that suites you and that may be a long thin one, a short fat one or a long fat one (especially for those of us that have had children).

You're no less of a woman if you want a small one or more of one if you want a king-size tool. It should be kept in mind that narrower shafts are easier to insert and allow faster stroking, whereas thicker ones take more inserting and are usually harder to work in and out, though they do give a pleasant 'stuffed' sensation.

The bottom line is be realistic in deciding what you need and what you can handle before you buy, unless you can afford a selection!

Humping

Humping is thrusting your genitals against something hard or at least firm. Some examples of this include:

Sliding along the edge of the bath tub.

Sitting on a pillow or cushion or similar and rocking the hips back and forth. Lying face down with something like a chair leg pressed up against your vulva. Thrusting up and down to cause your clitoris to rub on the leg. A nicely shaped leg, with ridges etc, can be very pleasurable.

Floor riding.

Strip off and lie on the floor face down. It works best if you are shaved down there but it works if you are hairy too. Press your pubic bone into the floor as hard as you can and rock your body like you are trying to crawl but don't work hard enough to actually move from the spot. The flesh on your pubis will be alternately pulled tight and made slack.

This transmits to your clitoris through the outer lips and feels great after a minute or two. (Extra bonus - it is a good exercise for your waist too)

*******

There is a range of techniques that all involve moving a cord or something similar back and forward along your vulva. Some examples:

Take a stocking or a pair of tights and hold the foot in one hand behind your back, let the fabric drape between your legs and hold the other end in your other hand at the front. The material should then be pulled up into the crotch so that it works into your vulva. Pulling it gently backwards and forwards causes it to stimulate your clitoris in a divine way. (PST: silk stockings are so much nicer than nylon for this!)

Using a cord off a dressing gown or a length of ribbon in the same way as detailed above is also fun. If the ribbon is to be specially purchased for this sort of play, try and get one about an inch wide and a yard long. One with the little edge loops is also worth considering. If its an option, try oiling the material up before playing by rubbing a little lubricant along it's length.

A long bead necklace or a synthetic pearl string can be great for this too. The knobs feel great as they slide by.

Tie a cord/ribbon/etc between the backs of two chairs so that it is suspended at crotch height. Step across, position the cord along your vulva and walk back and forward

Tickling

Masturbation need not be a hurried thing. If you have plenty of time, the excitement can be built up to amazing levels, and orgasms made stronger, if you go really slowly and tease yourself to a climax. The secret of this is light stimulation rather than the direct/intense stuff discussed earlier. A few personally tested ways of doing this are given below.

Makeup brush

The very large and super soft round headed brushes that are designed for putting on powder foundation make wonderful masturbation tools. First wash yourself well and dry your clitoris and vulva thoroughly.

Then, spread out on the bed/floor so that your vulva is wide open. This is one technique where being shaved can be an advantage.With very light flicking strokes tickle your clitoris and inner lips with the bristles of the brush. Stay away from your vaginal entrance as it will probably be/become moist and this moistness will collect on the brush and spoil the delicate stimulation it gives.

Important - after a while the sensitivity of your clitoris will increase and you will feel like finishing yourself off quickly. Don't be tempted. The longer this stage lasts the greater the tension will be when you do cum and so the more explosive the climax. No matter how badly you want to drop the brush and finish yourself off quickly stick with the gentle flicking. It will get you there eventually and the journey is sooooo nice!!

Feather

A nice long quill, as long as it is clean, can be great fun. Apart from the flicking and brushing actions described above you can also enjoy a pulling the feather along your vulva like an extension of a single finger. As the feather is less susceptible dampness than a brush you don't need to keep away from your vagina so much. The great thing is that as you get more aroused and feel like pressing on harder the feather simply flexes and so the level of stimulation stays the same.

Conclusion

As was stated at the begining of the techniques section, there is no wrong way to masturbate. If you try something and it doesn't work for you then I suggest you try another but don't give up the first time you try. We live in a society that tells women that they must be missing out on something if they don't achieve orgasm.

Are You Ready, Ladies?

2009-10-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

Finally, the female experience of self-pleasure!

YES, IT'S TRUE -- females masturbate, too. Although we may not feel the same physical urgency to masturbate as guys (at least not as often as guys), girls definitely experience sexual arousal, particularly during puberty. It is often not only a physical experience but an emotional one as well. Remember all of those screaming, crying girls at the Beatles' concerts? That was a heavily hormone-influenced response.

Many women, whether they have masturbated or not, feel embarrassed or ashamed about masturbation. It is not usually a subject shared with your girlfriends. Some girls, anxious to please their boyfriend or to try expressing their own sexuality, will have sexual intercourse long before they are ready to deal with the emotional impact that goes with it. Masturbation is a healthy way for females to satisfy their sexual feelings and learn about their own sexual response.

It is particularly important for a woman to understand her own body and sexual response, because it is not something that will be learned from a male lover -- another mistake many of us make. (Okay, before I get nasty e-mail from guys reading this page, let me say that I'm sure there have been some men out there who have enlightened their female lovers, but I think most women would be safer not to depend on it.)

For this reason, it is not surprising that many women have been sexually active for years with male lovers but have NEVER EXPERIENCED AN ORGASM. This is a tragedy -- and it definitely reinforces the importance of a woman being in touch with her own body and sexual response.

The Basics Of Female Masturbation

Time, mood, place.

One of the most important things to realize when masturbating is that you need to be relaxed and undistracted in order to really enjoy the experience. Think of this as your time.

Take the phone off the hook, lock the door and spend some quality time with yourself. I'm aware that this is not always easy as it sounds, especially if like me you have kids and a Hubby, but I really can't stress enough how important it is to try to find time.

Women fill so many different roles, are many things to many people, that it's easy to forget that you are also a person. Taking time for yourself is not being selfish and is not something you should feel guilty about. Everyone needs to take some time away from the rigors of the outside world once in a while.

How you find this time is up to you. One of the ways I do it is to go to the one safe haven in our house, the bathroom. It has a lock; it has a shower and a nice long tub for me to lie in. I can light candles or leave the main light on, I can read a book in peace and I have a very good masturbation tool in the showerhead as well as a pair of hands at my disposal.

One word of warning here if you normally masturbate with a vibrator, please make sure it's waterproof before using it in the bathtub or shower, especially if you normally use an electric one!! I'm told that electrocution is not a pleasant experience!!

Another option is of course the bedroom. You may want to consider putting a lock on the door, so you can completely relax without fear of intrusion. Again you have a ready-made multitude of tools at your disposal here to aid your experience if you so wish. Most bedrooms contain a mirror, in many cases a full length one. All contain pillows that can help with positions; most have a cabinet for stashing lubricant, sex toys and erotic books.

Both of the above are great options for settings and you can always dress them up for the occasion. I'm not talking party balloons and hats dressing up here, I'm talking mood setters. By this I mean change the bed linen to your favorite, have some music playing in the background, light some candles, basically find an environment that you can really relax and be comfortable in.

The truth is the more time you put into the preparation the more you'll get out of the experience. I find it also makes me look forward to what's to come more; the anticipation of spending time alone with myself is sometimes half the fun.

So your room is set, your candles lit and now you're wondering what the hell to do next...

For the purpose of this section I'm going to use the bedroom as my setting as it's where most women choose to masturbate.

Although many of the techniques listed in this section of Clitical are tried and tested, it's important to remember that none of them are guaranteed.

Just because something works for one women doesn't mean it will work for another. The secret here is to really lie back take the time to really get in touch with your own body. Many women are uncomfortable with the sight of their own naked bodies.

One way in which you can begin to feel more comfortable about your own body is to stop comparing it with others. Remember that each of us is individual and our bodies are a simple reflection of that individuality. Getting comfortable with your own body is an important first step to a better sex life and masturbation can aid in this.

If you're one of the many women who feel uncomfortable about taking your clothes off and seeing yourself naked there are a few simple steps you can take in the comfort of your own bedroom to help overcome this. Remember that mirror I mentioned earlier, now is a good time to go and stand in front of it. Slowly begin to undress and watch each part of your own body as it's revealed to you.

Once your completely undressed, begin to stoke your body, maybe caress your neck, still watching yourself in the mirror, now slowly beginning to move your hands down your body towards your breasts, still watching.

Keep doing this and take it slowly, step by step and you will find that you will become more comfortable with not only the look of your own body but also the feel of it. You may even discover erogenous zones you didn't even know you had!!

Once you're naked, pull up a chair and sit on it's edge with your legs open and take a good look at your genitals in the mirror. See all those folds and curls? They are what make you as unique as the shape of your nose or the color of your eyes.

No two vulvas are the same and taking the time to get familiar with yours is time well spent. In order to feel comfortable masturbating, you need to understand your anatomy, what it does and how it can make you feel. Try pulling your labia gently apart and examining your clitoris and vaginal opening.

Try gently stroking your clitoris and watch what happens in the mirror. Insert your finger into your vagina and see how it feels, some women enjoy the sensations but many don't, just remember there are no wrongs here!

Just gentle exploration and getting to know yourself a little better. This is your time and no one else, so there is no pressure and no reason to wonder if what you are doing is right. If it feels good to you then you're doing it right is the general rule of thumb when it comes to self-love.

Below I've described some basic techniques you might like to try as you explore your body a little more:

Place your thumb and forefinger on either side of your clitoris and gently roll it between your fingers. Start slowly and gently and explore until you find the speed that works for you. A variation of this technique is to use both hands and roll your outer lips between the fingers. If your clitoris is sensitive to the touch this can be a great technique to try.

With two fingers placed directly on your clitoris move them in a circular motion. As always try varying the speed and position of your fingers.

Try drawing circles around your clitoris with your middle finger. Again a great technique if you have a sensitive clitoris like many women do.

Trace the alphabet on your clitoris with your index finger. Another great way to discover how certain stokes may affect the sensations your body can produce.

You may like to try placing a finger inside yourself and thrusting it back and forth. A little lubricant can be useful here. Then take your fingers and tap them gently against your clitoris. Vary the speed and intensity of each tap, if you're playing music listen to it's beat and try to develop a rhythm.

Try changing positions. You'll most likely be surprised just how different the sensations of all the above techniques change as you change position. Try sitting, standing, squatting or laying on your belly as well as your back.

The key here is to have fun and become comfortable with your own body and the feelings it can produce as you explore it. This is a way of learning to communicate with yourself, get in touch with your sexual side without fear of rejection or getting it wrong because remember there's no wrongs here.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this section there are as many ways to masturbate as there are women masturbating. Being comfortable with your own body is the first and most important step you will take on this journey of sexual discovery.

Masturbation: Social And Moral Issues

2009-10-27T05:16:00.000-07:00

The list of benefits given earlier suggests that masturbation is wonderful and that it has no down side at all.

Well it is pretty wonderful but there are some real problems and difficulties that have to be considered against the positives.

It would be unfair if we did not publish these here too, as they are essential if you are to get the whole picture about masturbation.

1. Religion is a real problem for many girls that discover masturbation. The Bible and other holy books apparently forbid masturbation and label it a sin. But if you look at the texts in question they are all, or at least the ones I have seen or had quoted to me, directed at males.

There is no parallel for a girl to the male act of 'spilling ones seed on the ground'. Female masturbation is purely a pleasure act, it does not cause us to release gametes and has no direct relation to the reproductive process at all. Taken literally then there is no ban on us masturbating.

Males that say otherwise are just jealous that we are free to play while the religiously observant male has to stick to intercourse for sexual release. That's how we see it and so we have no conflict between our masturbation and our religious beliefs.

We hope you can agree with this, if religion is important in your life, but if you can't then perhaps its down to choosing between masturbation and your faith - no advice given on this one as its entirely up to you.

2. Just because you may be happy that its OK to masturbate does not mean others will feel the same about you doing it. In fact masturbation is still a taboo subject for many.

This means that you have to keep your activity secret by hiding any items you may use, ensure privacy when masturbating and not leaving obvious clues around.

You also have to take care in deciding who, if anyone, you will tell about your pass-time as not only may they react badly to the information but they could betray your secret to others.

3. Don't ever think you can do another girl a favor by introducing her to masturbation as the risks to your friendship etc, as well as the risk of being ridiculed by her and others, is great.

4. There is no medical risk to simple masturbation (refer to the dangers pages on more exotic practices issues) but if it becomes an obsession that disrupts normal social and work life then you need to take stock of the situation and maybe seek professional medical help. (So the stories of going blind, causing cancer, etc are all rubbish)

5. There is no age limit on masturbation, no one is too young and no one is too old. There are minimum age restraints, however, on the purchase of many specialist masturbation items that you may be interested in, especially if you have read our techniques section or if you have surfed the Net a bit and heard of things like vibrators etc.

Don't risk getting yourself into trouble by lying about your age or trying to order through the mail. The Law is the Law, whether we like it or not.

6. Masturbation in private is fine but in any place that can be defined as being public, including public toilets, in cars, in the open country etc. it can be regarded as an indecent act and may leave you liable to prosecution.

7. Its quite possible to masturbate while driving a car (especially if its an automatic gear shift type!) but it is foolish and illegal to try. You will be driving without care and attention, especially when you orgasm, and would you be able to live with yourself if your attempt at a moments pleasure caused an accident or a death?

8. Virginity has gone a bit out of fashion but you have to consider the impact masturbation may have on your virginity status if its an issue for you. Technically no amount of masturbation can take your virginity as its intercourse with a male that does that, but any act of self penetration could stretch or tear your hymen, giving the same physical appearance as lost virginity.

Masturbation: The Benefits

2009-10-27T05:10:00.000-07:00

So far we have dealt with the 'who' and the 'how' but now we turn to the 'why'. Why do girls masturbate?

The simple answer, which is good enough for many, is that it is pleasurable, but that excludes many of the recognized and claimed benefits. Below is a short list of the more significant of these:

1. Its pleasurable - it had to be number one!

2. It helps you relax - safer than tranquillizers, cheaper than alcohol and no side effects

3. It helps you get to sleep if you are suffering from insomnia

4. It can make you feel 'energized' and focused, making study or concentration related tasks easier

5. It gives a degree of relief from the physical discomforts many feel during periods

6. It allows you to find out what you like so that you can share your needs with a partner and have better sex

7. It is always available when sexual tensions need releasing - not always true of partner sex

8. It allows you to have as much gratification as you want, when you want it and at your speed - partner sex cannot compete

9. It takes the pressure off your partner as he/she is not the only source of your orgasms

10. It is the one form of sex with no risk of disease, pregnancy or emotional upset

11. It fits in with your life - unlike partner sex

12. It often results in more powerful and longer orgasms than other forms of sex.

13. It allows you to fantasies and act as you want - please yourself not your partner

14. No partner/audience (usually) means you can be less inhibited in your use of toys and any other item you may personally find erotic

15. You can do it at your pace and can spread it out as long as you want. Longer periods of pre-orgasmic arousal can often result in better and more satisfying orgasms.

16. It saves time when you need an orgasm - no need to find a partner - and less risk of getting involved with a jerk just because you are desperate.

17. It's free!

18. Masturbation to the point of orgasm appears to put less strain on the heart as measured by an increase in heart rate than does partner activity that results in orgasm!

Masturbation is....

2009-10-27T05:07:00.000-07:00

There are many definitions of what masturbation is.

Many of these make it sound terrible ('self abuse' 'defile oneself sexually'), while others give restrictive definitions, usually involving hands, that have confused the issue for many.

A working definition of masturbation that gets over the general meaning in a neutral way could be: 'Stimulating ones genitals, or other erogenous zones, so as to give ones self pleasure'.

Note that no mention of 'how' or exactly 'where' is made and, importantly, orgasm is not seen as being a defining element of the act.

So masturbation can be rubbing your vulva with your fingers so as to have an orgasm or it can just as validly be stroking your nipples, squeezing your thighs together or sitting on top of a working washing machine.

What it comes down to is more what is in your mind than what you are physically doing. In fact the range of activities that are really masturbation is very wide indeed and we will cover a range of them on this site.

Enough to say that if you deliberately do anything that involves pampering or stimulating your body's erogenous zones, directly or indirectly then yep that's masturbation. (But if the word is a turn off then feel free to think of what you are doing as something else).

Who does it....

As masturbation is a private activity no one really knows who does it. All we have to go on are reported findings from surveys conducted by renowned sexologists over the last 30 to 40 years.

What these findings tell us is interesting and, for those that thought they were alone, surprising.

Summarized they tell us:

1. From early surveys a figure of around 60% of females of 'sexually active ages' were reported to masturbate at some time or other.

2. More recent reports put the figure at over 80%. This may be due to changes in attitudes about admitting to doing it or it may really show that it is becoming more common.

3. Girls aged 2 and under have been known to deliberately masturbate themselves to orgasm.

4. Women in their eighties have admitted to being active masturbators. Modern hormone replacement therapy extends a woman's active sex life/desire and so more older women are masturbating now than in the past.

5. The commonest time for a girl to discover masturbation is during her early teens though a significant number discover it later in life. As few give up after discovering it, more older women masturbate than do younger ones.

6. Among those that masturbate the frequency range is great. Some are several times each day participators while others only masturbate on rare occasions. There is no obvious link to show why some are one way and others the other.

7. Females both in and out of steady sexual relationships masturbate. It is not an indication of a failure in a relationship if a woman feels the need to continue masturbating. It just shows that she enjoys masturbating.

YES, VIRGINIA, THE PENIS DOES HAVE A ROLE

2009-10-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

Since the masturbation techniques presented here focus on the clitoris, some readers have expressed confusion regarding the role of the male sex organ.

Although the clitoris is the nerve center for the orgasmic response, vaginal intercourse, obviously, can be very pleasurable and can result in an orgasm.

There's a myth that an orgasm from vaginal intercourse is totally different from a clitoral orgasm. In actuality, vaginal intercourse is simply another way to stimulate the clitoris, with the added pleasure of vaginal stimulation.

There are basically three reasons why intercourse is physically pleasurable. First, the penis stimulates the nerve endings inside the vagina. The simple physical presence of the penis in the vagina can be very pleasurable -- particularly a penis of the appropriate size.

Second, the movement of the penis in and out of the vagina (or of the vagina around the penis, if the woman is on top) pulls on the hood connected to the clitoris, thereby providing stimulation to the clitoris. Finally, depending on the position used, the thrusting of the male pelvic area against the clitoris is also stimulating.

Let me try saying this in a way that's a little less clinical. I think most women would agree that particularly when they are excited and ready for sex (i.e., when the vagina is lubricated), the sensation of the vagina being filled up with a penis is simply wonderful.

It is interesting to note that this sensation can be even more pleasurable after an orgasm! But men must realize that the pure thrusting in and out of the vagina is not what will lead most women to orgasm (as it will for a man, of course!).

At some point, attention and stimulation should be given to the clitoris, either directly or indirectly. This can be through either manual or oral means -- or it can come from the pelvic movement itself.

Tip: Many women are able to achieve orgasm more easily through the "female superior" (woman on top) position, since they are able to move freely to stimulate the clitoris

Tips For The Guys

Now, I know there are plenty of guys out there who are reading this page out of curiosity, so I'll give you a few tips, too. How can you successfully masturbate a woman? The key is clitoral stimulation.

Use the vaginal lubrication to make your finger moist as it rubs the clitoris. You will probably have to ask your girlfriend what she likes (technique, speed, etc.); if she is to shy to tell you, just have her guide your hand, and try to follow.

As she gets more excited, you might want to increase the pressure and speed. Of course, always listen to what she wants, as everyone is different. You can also intermittently penetrate her vagina with your fingers, if she so desires.

Also, don't neglect her breasts and nipples. Massage her breasts and stimulate her nipples with your free hand or mouth as much as you can, making sure you're applying the amount of pressure she wants. Kiss her deeply and passionately.

Experiment and have fun. The most important thing is to demonstrate that you are totally into her and her pleasure. Of course, patience can be a virtue. Be sincere -- she can tell if you are feigning interest.

When she begins to orgasm, don't stop what you are doing until she grabs your hand and pushes it away. At that point, take her in your arms and hold her closely. If you love her, tell her.

Female Anatomy Close Up

2009-10-27T04:52:00.000-07:00

The female body – an object of immense beauty – and an object of mystery, as well, it seems.

Unfortunately, for most of us, a woman’s body is still shrouded in confusion and mystery. It’s no wonder we don’t know much about the female body. We’ve been conditioned to have sex in the dark - under the sheets, so unless we’ve had a long-term sexual relationship, we probably don’t know too much about the female body.

Even being in a long-term relationship where we are comfortable with each other doesn’t guarantee that we know a lot, though. Most of us have never had the pleasure of really investigating a woman’s genitals up close and personal.
I was surprised to learn about the number of men who cannot identify a clitoris. I was completely shocked when I learned that many women cannot identify their own clitoris, either! In one study of women, 28% had never even examined their own vulvas in a mirror.

Even medical science doesn’t know a lot about the female body and sexual response. In the August 22, 2003 edition of 20/20 on ABC, an expert from an OB/GYN organization said we are practically in the dark ages when it comes to female sexuality, in terms of what we know compared to other areas of medicine. She claims on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the most), we are at about a 2. We still have a lot to learn.

Many people (especially men) hate to admit we don’t know something, especially when it comes to sex. Well, don’t be too hard on yourself. How are we supposed to know this stuff? Where do we really learn about the female body? Who teaches us? Nobody does! Most of us men learn about the female body from pictures of naked women that one of our friends stole from his dad’s porno stash. But, what do we really learn? Many of the really important parts of the vulva are hidden within the fleshy folds - and there are no accompanying tutorials or anything. Maybe some of us have seen line drawings in sex education text books that don’t look anything like real vulvas. Others of us gather misinformation from our friends. Nobody teaches us the real facts about the female body and how to pleasure it when we are younger because we aren’t supposed to have sex or talk about it. Yet one day, we are supposed to just somehow magically know about all of the different female body parts – what they are called, where they are located, what they do, and how to bring them pleasure.

And forget about asking someone for help - once we reach a certain age, our inquisitiveness becomes a liability. It’s no longer “cool” to ask questions. Doing so will prove to your friends that you are not very experienced, out of the loop, a virgin, or an idiot, so most of us pretend we know it all. We fake it. Well, now is the time to stop faking it and realize that if you want to learn to be a great lover to your partner, you have to know the location and functions of the body parts you are dealing with, whether you’re a man or a woman.

Women’s bodies come in all kinds of wonderful shapes, sizes, colors, and variations. All are different and can respond differently to the same stimulation. The following is a bit graphic, but it reinforces my point about individualism. I read about a study where they took 10 female corpses and dissected them to study sexual nerve endings. Out of the 10 females, no two were exactly alike. They all had different numbers and concentrations of nerve endings in the breasts and genital region. This could explain why although something feels nice and works for one woman, it isn’t a guarantee that all women will find it equally stimulating. Women aren’t all made from the same cookie-cutter mold.

Let’s examine the female body parts that are commonly associated with sexual activity. We won’t be discussing internal organs that are more reproductive in nature rather than sexual, as you can get that information from any anatomy textbook and it isn’t our focus here. We will take a look at each body part, discover its purpose, tell you where to find it, tell you what it looks like, talk about the important facts you need to know about it, and then discover how to stimulate it, when applicable.

It will be a fun, educational, and experimental journey. So let's start that journey and we give you two ways to do that at Clitical.Com.

You might like to start by taking a look at some of the close up photo's we have HERE. Not all vulva's were created equal and these photo's represent but a mere selection of the infinite variations.

If you would like to get a little more interactive then we offer you a variety of diagrams that can be clicked on so you can identify the various bits and piece that go to make up the amazing female body. You'll find those HERE.

Or why not just try both-))

Originally posted @ clitical.com

Adult Toys Facts & Myths

2009-09-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

Myth: Sex toys are only for people who have a bad sex life, or no sex life:

Sex Toy Fact:
Everyone and anyone you can image is the kind of person who uses sex toys. In fact research on vibrator use suggests that people who are having sex use sex toys more than those who aren’t, and that between 20-30% of people have used sex toys at least once in their lives.

Sex toys aren’t a crutch or a cure-all, they are an addition to sexual repertoire.

Myth: Sex toys are addictive:

Sex Toy Fact:
Addiction implies harm, and there is nothing harmful about using sex toys (as long as they’re used properly).

It’s true that people can become used to using sex toys, and even come to rely on them, but there is no “withdrawal” and anyone can easily get themselves back to masturbation or partner sex without sex toys.

People who suggest that vibrator addiction is real tend to be people who think that any sex toy use is too much sex toy use.

Myth: If a woman has a sex toy, she won’t need a man:

Sex Toy Fact:
Sex toys are not replacements for people. A sex toy won’t make you breakfast, or cuddle, or tell you how much it loves you.

Many men are intimidated by sex toys because they have been raised with the idea that the most important thing about them is what’s between their legs. These myths about male sexuality sink in early, and as a result most men are insecure about their sexual importance.

Also, let’s remember that there are lots of women who don’t want a man in the first place, and a sex toy isn’t going to change that one way or the other.

Myth: Guys only use sex toys because they can’t get any “real” sex:

Sex Toy Fact:
The cliché about men and sex toys is the guy in the raincoat, buying the “masturbator” and watching porn in his basement while masturbating.

The reality about men and sex toys is that millions of them use them, in one study it was 21% of respondents, both when they are in relationships and single.

The best way for a man to become a better lover is to learn more about his own sexual response.

Masturbation, with or without sex toys, is the key to this, and to learning to control ejaculation. Using sex toys doesn’t mean a man is a loser, it means he’s smart, and likely to be better in bed for it.

Myth: Sex toys make sex less natural:

Sex Toy Fact:
Most of us are raised being told many lies about sex among them that “natural sex” means one thing only. Is drawing less “natural” when we use a pencil and paper? Is painting more “natural” if we use our own blood, rather than paints?

Of course not. Yet sex is somehow less “natural” if we use tools and toys to make it different. Sex toys are animated not by batteries but by our imaginations, and using sex toys is as natural as the people using them.

Myth: There are bad sex toys and good sex toys:

Sex Toy Fact:
With the exception of a few sex toys that pose obvious risks, there is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” sex toy. Sex toys are whatever we do with them.

A vibrator that would be too strong, too heavy, and painful for one person might be perfect for another. A dildo that feels sticky and looks weird to one, might be the ideal shape, size and texture for another.

The trick is to find the sex toy that’s right for you, but most sex toys will be good for some people, and bad for others. A great way to do this in the comfort & privacy of your own home is to contact your local Pure Romance Consultant!

Myth: The more you pay for a sex toy, the better it is:

Sex Toy Fact:
A $6 vibrator might give you more pleasure than a $300 vibrator. More expensive sex toys should last longer, be made of better materials, and maybe come from smaller, more ethically run companies, but they won’t necessarily feel better or give you more pleasure.

Sex toys are like most other commercial products in that the budget ones will do the trick, and more often than not, that’s all we’re looking for.

Myth: Sex toys are kinky:

Fact:
Words like “kinky” and “normal” are completely relative and while they may govern what you feel comfortable talking about (or doing) in public, the sooner you realize that everyone is “kinky” behind closed doors, the happier and less stressful your sex life will be.

Sex toys don’t make sex kinky, and using them doesn’t “say” anything about the kind of person you are, other than the fact that you’re the kind of person who feels worthy of sexual pleasure. Which is a highly respectable reputation to have in any social circle.

Myth: Sex toys can cause damage to your body:

Sex Toy Fact:
Those people who would rather us not use sex toys at all come up with a variety of arguments for why they are bad. They’re addictive, their weird, and if you use them you can ruin yourself for “real sex”. For starters, “real sex” is any kind of sex you’re having or thinking about having.

Also, there is no evidence whatsoever that sex toys can damage or harm your sexual sensitivity or genitalia. Of course you could always poke out an eye if you don’t use your sex toy properly, but the same is true of your can opener, and no one’s telling you to throw that away.

Men + Multiple Orgasms???

2009-09-26T22:30:00.001-07:00

It’s definitely not an urban legend; although male multiple orgasms do sometimes take on something of a mythic quality (take, for example, Sting).

The good news is that men can, do, and have had multiple orgasms for thousands of years. Taoist teachings on sexuality that go back farther than that give explicit instruction for men on how they can experience multiple orgasms. Western sex researchers have also studied this experience in men and found clear physiological evidence that it happens. Also, it seems that many men can learn to have multiple orgasms.

The sort-of bad news? Learning to have multiple orgasms takes a fair bit of time and practice. Also, multiple orgasms means that you are having a series of non-ejaculatory orgasms, so while they aren’t necessarily better or worse, they are definitely different than the kind of orgasms you may be used to experiencing.

The more good news? Learning to have multiple orgasms means you will also be learning to control ejaculation, and you will learn a lot about your own sexual response, which is great news regardless of the final outcome.

Is Our Sexuality Being Overmedicalized?

2009-09-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

The release and subsequent multi-billion dollar success of Viagra may have forever changed the way we think about sexuality. With a few exceptions, prior to Viagra the business of making large sums of money off sexual behavior was left (mostly) to pornographers and the sex trade.

While there were medical and pharmacological interventions designed to improve sexual function, the machinery of the scientific academy and the huge pharmaceutical industry didn’t pay that much attention to sexual behaviors and response.

Pioneering researchers from Richard von Krafft-Ebing to Alfred Kinsey to Masters and Johnson’s and Helen Singer

Kaplan have contributed greatly to our understanding of human sexuality, but they were exceptions to the rule.
For better or worse, things have changed.

These days there are academic positions in departments specifically for studying sexual medicine, and drug companies are putting serious money behind researchers who are looking for the next blue pill that will make them billions.

There are wannabe-celebrity sexologists (who look suspiciously like the celebrities they want to be) who are shilling everything from sex toys to complete sexual makeover spas.

The questions remain: are pharmacological fixes what we need more of? When it comes to sexuality are social factors more important than medical ones? And who sets the agenda for these issues?

Current Status

Once they had successfully addressed male sexuality with Viagra (ignoring the fact that Viagra doesn’t work for a large percentage of men, and it doesn’t address psychological or social issues of male sexual concerns) pharmaceutical companies turned to the newly created Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD), to try and fix a problem that many argue is still largely misunderstood and understudied.

Proponents of pharmaceutical solutions like to quote a very misleading statistic suggesting that 43% of women suffer from sexual dysfunction. This statistic has little scientific credibility, but serves to highten the public’s belief that there is a crises in female sexual functioning.

In 2004 the first product created to treat FSD was rejected by the FDA. The rejection was based in part on concerns raised by a group of scientists, researchers, physicians, and activists, who pointed to the lack of long term studies and the small actual gains reported by users in the clinical trials.

Since that failure there has been a strong campaign to keep the issue of testosterone in the media with the same articles appearing time and time again.

Background

Finding “cures” for real or imagined sexual “ills” is nothing new. From snake oil and sugar pills to popular soft drinks, potions and pills promising increased virility and potency have been around a long time.

Today just take a walk through any health food store, or surf an online drug or health food store and you’ll find sexual “supplements” creams, and ointments designed to make sex better, make you last longer, make your toes curl and your hair stand on end.

What seems different today, and what is certainly more worrisome, is that companies are no longer simply inventing “cures” for specific ills, they are manufacturing ills to match a pre-existing cure. Some women’s health advocates argue this is precisely the case with the misleading and misunderstood diagnosis of female sexual dysfunction.

Can Sex Toys Cause Yeast Infections?

2009-09-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

Yeast infections are incredibly common. Some studies estimate that three out of four women will get a yeast infection in their life, and many women get multiple yeast infections over their life.

While there are several known risk factors for yeast infections, you probably won’t be surprised to hear that there hasn’t been a lot of research on sex toys and yeast infections.

Many sex toys are used only on the outside of the body, and these should have no impact on a yeast infection. For sex toys used internally, it’s most likely that any connection to yeast infections will be indirect.

Still, it’s worth thinking about and doing what you can to avoid anything that would encourage a yeast infection. Here are some potential ways that using sex toys might encourage a yeast infection.

Some personal lubricants are thought to increase the chances of getting a yeast infection, particularly for individuals who are prone to yeast infections. Because lubricant is important to use with sex toys, it may be that a yeast infection after sex toy use is the result of the lube and not the toy.

Friction Irritation. Most sex toys that are used for penetration create significant friction, particularly with vigorous use. The friction may irritate the skin and the irritation. Friction can break down layers of the skin or vaginal mucosa and this can compromise the protective barrier that healthy tissue normally provides.

Allergic Reaction. You may have an allergic reaction to the sex toy material or the lubricant you are using with the toy. The allergic reaction can also cause irritation and lead to increased yeast infection risk as above.

Bladder Infections. Whether from friction and improper sex toy cleaning or a reaction to the sex toy material, using sex toys can cause bladder and/or urinary tract infections. Because bladder infections are treated with antibiotics, and antibiotics in turn promote the growth of vaginal yeast, this can be another indirect way that using sex toys might increase your chances of a yeast infection.

Antibiotics. Finally, if you do get a bladder infection and are prescribed antibiotics, these increase the risk of a yeast infection.

Reducing the Risk

Here are some things you can do to reduce the risk of getting a yeast infection via sex toys:

Avoid lubricants with glycerin, a great one for women prone to infections is Just Like Me original
To reduce irritation from friction, use plenty of glycerin-free lubricant, and reapply lubricant if using toys for a longer time period.
When choosing a sex toy, purchase higher quality materials that are easier to keep clean like hard plastic, metal, or silicone.
Always wash your toys, WITH A PROPER TOY CLEANER (such as come clean), let them air dry, and store them properly (the Sugar Sak is an anti-microbial storage sack & a great way to prevent infections when toys are properly cleaned with a safe, gentle toy cleaner).

Female Sexual Responce

2009-09-26T22:16:00.001-07:00

Masters and Johnson were the first researchers to propose a “four phase” model of sexual response. They conducted experimental research with adults, both observing adults engaging in sexual behaviors, and measuring what happens to the body during sexual behaviors.

While this description of female sexual response can be a helpful way to start thinking about your own sexual response, try not to use it as a strict guide to measure yourself against. For one thing, the description only deals with physical changes in your body. Your sexual response is much more than blood flow and lubrication.

If you’re experience is different it doesn’t necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you. While there are some generalities, the reality is that everyone is different, and everyone’s sexual response may be a bit different too. There are limitations to the research that Masters and Johnson conducted, and some researchers argue that separating sexual response into stages doesn’t make any sense at all.

Here is what Masters and Johnson found to happen during the four phases of the sexual response cycle for women.

Phase 1 of the Female Sexual Response – Excitement

In response to sexual stimuli (whether psychological in the form of sexual thoughts or fantasies, or physical in the form of physical stimulation) vaginal lubrication will usually begin. There are many reasons why women may have less (or no) vaginal lubrication, even when there is excitement and arousal. Other physical changes may include:

Vasocongestion will result in the clitoris becoming engorged.
The size and shape of the labia may change.
The inner two thirds of the vagina may expand.
There may be an enlargement of the breasts.
The skin may become flushed, women may experience heightened sensitivity in parts of their body, like the nipples.
Some increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension.

Phase 2 of the Female Sexual Response – Plateau

With continued sexual stimulation this phase represents the time between the initial arousal and excitement, up until orgasm. Physical changes during this phase may include:

A continued swelling of the tissues in the vagina, which may be accompanied by contractions of the vaginal opening.
The clitoris can withdraw into the clitoral hood and the external clitoris can shorten in size.
The labia minora increase in size and turn a reddish-purple.
There may be a sex flush, muscle tension, increase in heart rate and rising blood pressure.

Phase 3 of the Female Sexual Response – Orgasm

Masters and Johnson description of female orgasm does not include any information about female ejaculation accompanying orgasm. Physical changes involved in female orgasm may include:

Contractions of the pelvic muscles around the vagina.
The uterus and anal sphincter also contract in a throbbing or rhythmic way.
Muscles may spasm, blood pressure and heart rate reach a peak.
The contractions (which occur at different speeds, and in different amounts) are usually what are experienced as highly pleasurable feelings of release.

Phase 4 of the Female Sexual Response – Resolution

Resolution phase refers to the period of time immediately following an orgasm, when the body begins to return to its “normal” state. This phase includes:

Blood that had engorged areas of the body now flows out, swelling decreases and eventually muscle tension and skin flush go away.
A general feeling of relaxation.

Source: Human Sexual Response, W.H. Masters & V.E. Johnson, 1966.