Female Masturbation: Dealing With Mom

"I know my Mom found my stash of play things in my bedroom because they had been moved from the way I left them and she has subsequently been acting very coldly to me. I don't feel in the wrong but I don't like her treating me like this. What should I do?"

******

Our parent's generation was even less open than ours on the subject of masturbation. Being confronted with the fact that you are active in this area may be causing her some real problems. If she sees masturbation as 'wrong' then she is working through the conflict of you, who she loves, doing something that she sees as wrong. 

Even if she is comfortable with the idea of masturbation then coming to terms with the fact you have grown up and have sexual desires of your own could be difficult for her. It is going to take her time and there is only so much you can do to help. Trying too hard could force her into saying or doing something you may both regret. 

Be patient. If she raises the subject then be frank and tell her that you know its natural and normal and that you intend to continue and that you hope she can understand. If she continues to treat you coldly then try to be warm to her and she may well respond as she sees you are still the daughter she loves, no matter what. 

The only scenario I have a concern about is if she tries to precipitate a confrontation by removing your toys or trying to insist you do as she wants in her house. (I don't know her so I can't say it won't happen, but it is very unlikely unless you have a problem relationship to start with). 

If she takes this stance you can stand your ground or you can agree to do as she asks - then it would be up to you whether you stick to your word or not.

Masturbation myths: Fact or fiction?

Hands up all those of you who have heard these statements before;

Masturbation:

1. Will make you go blind.
2. Will stunt your growth.
3. Will make you go insane.
4. Will give you hairy palms
5. Will give you acne.

Most of us now recognize that the above were just myths but as teens we may well have believed them. Of course if they were true then half the world's population would be blind dwarfs with acne and hairy palms because surveys suggest that over 80% of women and 99% of men masturbate or have masturbated at sometime in their lives.

Many of the sexual myths that survive today have deep roots. For example, around the turn of the century, many adults were so against masturbation that they forced girls to wear gloves made of a wire wool substance at night and would put powder on their genitals that made them painful to touch. 

Boys were often forced to wear chastity belts at night so that an erection would cause pain. Sex was not meant to be pleasurable, it was only for making babies. Self-gratification was seen as the lowest form of pleasure back in those days and the foundation for that belief had been laid thousands of years before.

Okay, so I know we, thankfully, don't torture our kids in order to curb what is a natural instinct but masturbation is still seen as wrong by many people. Many of us still feel uncomfortable masturbating into adulthood because of what we were taught or told in those early years by our parents or peers. 

Those fears still persist even if we logically know that many are unfounded.

Even between adults many masturbation myths abound. 

Ever heard the one about how only losers masturbate as they can't get the real thing? 

Or the one that states that couples never masturbate? 

In both cases neither is true. Many people masturbate for many reasons the most common ones being:

1. It's pleasurable.
2. It helps them relax. It's safer than using tranquilizers and has no side effects.
3. It is always available when sexual tensions need releasing.
4. It allows them to have as much gratification as they want, when they want it, and at their own speed.
5. It is the one form of sex with no risk of disease, pregnancy or emotional upset.
6. No partner/audience (usually) means they can be less inhibited in their use of toys and any other item they may personally find erotic.
7. It helps them get to sleep if they are suffering from insomnia.
8. It gives a degree of relief from the physical discomforts many feel during periods.
9. It's free!

There are many, many more reasons why people masturbate, the above are just the most common ones. 

To be fair there are also people that do not masturbate either for religious or moral reasons. There is absolutely nothing wrong with abstaining from masturbation on any grounds. 

The act of masturbation by its very definition is about pleasure. If doing it makes you feel guilty or doesn't give you pleasure then please don't feel that you have to do it.

Some people maintain the belief that if you masturbate you will no longer be a virgin. This is another falsehood. Masturbation will not take away your virginity. A virgin, by definition, is someone who has not had sexual intercourse. 

Masturbation isn't sexual intercourse. If you insert your fingers or other objects into your vagina, you may disrupt your hymen (the membrane that stretches across the opening and is typically broken during first-time sex). 

But if you have not had sex, then you are still a virgin. There are many ways a woman can break her hymen accidentally without having sex, and none of them take away her virginity.

Married/cohabiting couples never masturbate is yet another common myth. 

In fact the reverse is often true. Mutual masturbation can often add to intimacy in a relationship and open channels of communication between a couple. Many people feel that they are failing in some way if they discover their partner is masturbating. 

This again is just not true in most cases. Often in a relationship one partner has a higher sex drive than the other, sometimes one partner may work away. If it worries or concerns you try and talk to your partner about why they feel they have to masturbate. You may just be surprised by the answers.

Pregnant woman shouldn't masturbate is another. 

There is no medical evidence to suggest that this will harm the child or Mother in anyway. New studies are showing that an orgasm can be a natural way to induce labor in the later stages of a pregnancy. This research is still in it's infancy but many nurses have long recognized this fact. There was a thought that orgasm could lead to premature labor and delivery, however new studies are now finding this is not always the case. 

Masturbation is a natural stress reliever and can therefore benefit a pregnant woman in the latter part of pregnancy when perhaps penetrative sex becomes more difficult to achieve. HOWEVER, if you do have a history of premature labor, it is always best to check with your physician. 

 

Masturbation is, in fact, probably the safest form of sex that anyone can practice. Remember you can't get pregnant or any STD's from masturbating but you can learn a lot about your own sexuality and body. The only time masturbation could present a real problem is if it becomes an obsession.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall (Or In My Hand)...

Masturbation! One of my very favorite things! I've been reading about other women's experiences and thought I'd add some of my own. 

Just the idea that other women will be reading this is a big turn-on. A couple of days ago I read a post on the discussion board about using a mirror when you masturbate and I decided to share some of my experiences. If any other girls would like to share e-mail's about masturbation, I'd really love to hear from you.

Watching myself in a mirror, including holding a hand-mirror between my legs, while I masturbate is a big turn-on for me. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist anyway and doing it in front of a mirror and fantasizing that the girl in the mirror is doing it right along with me and watching is something I just love to do. 

I have a chair in just the right position near the full-length mirror in the bedroom and I have made good use of it on many occasions. I also love looking at my cunt while holding a hand-mirror and seeing all the changes.

When I was going through puberty I used a mirror almost every day to examine my cunt, noting the changes as I developed and my pubes were growing in. From simply "examining" it was just a short step to watching myself masturbate, using either a hand mirror or standing in front of a full-length mirror. 

When I did it in front of the full-length mirror I would fantasize that someone (usually a girlfriend, but sometimes a group of guys) was standing on the other side of the mirror watching me and that fantasy always brought me to orgasm in a matter of just a few minutes.

I now have a two-sided hand-mirror and the mirror on one side magnifies. It's absolutely awesome to see my inner lips go from a real pale pink to a much darker shade and get all swollen, along with my labia that get really "puffy" and to see my wetness increase as I continue to stimulate myself with either my fingers or my favorite toy, an electric massager. 

It's hard for me to keep my eyes open and focused at the moment of orgasm and when I can afford it I'm going to get a camcorder to record myself masturbating and having an orgasm...or many orgasms.

I love having sex in front of a mirror and watching myself and my partner; another big turn-on. I've used my magnifying mirror several times so I could get a really good view of his cock sliding in and out of me and that's another big turn-on.

I very much like being watched masturbating by my boyfriend (and watching him, too) and have had this experience (watching and being watched) with several guys, the first time when I was about 14. Guys seem to really get turned-on watching a girl masturbate and they also get off by jacking-off in front of a girl, at least in my experience.

One of my major fantasies (but, so far, it hasn't happened in real life) is to masturbate with another girl and very often I will fantasize while I'm masturbating that some girl I know is there with me, both of us masturbating and watching each other. 

Another fantasy is that I'm lying on the floor, naked and masturbating, and a group of about 6-8 people, both guys and chicks, are kneeling around me, all of them naked and masturbating, too. We pace ourselves and all cum at the same time, the guys shooting on my boobs (something else I like a lot).

I think that I've been really curious about masturbation since I first learned how when I was 10. I talked with my girlfriends about how how good it felt and some of them were just totally grossed out but I know that at least some of them, and probably all (but they wouldn't admit it) tried it out and liked it as much as I did.

I learned about masturbating and orgasms both by just experimenting, like I suppose most girls do, touching myself "down there" and liking the feelings and also from reading. 

When I was young I read all the time (and still do, which probably explains my being a journalism/lit major in college). My parents had a small (but to me very interesting) collection of sex books in their bedroom. 

They didn't really hide them and I discovered them about the same time I discovered the wonderful world of masturbating. I learned that what I was doing was called masturbation and the feeling I got was an orgasm. I learned a lot more, too, and was very eager to try out a lot of things.

One of the books was "The Joy of Sex" (if you haven't read it, I strongly recommend it). The explicit drawings are just incredibly erotic and I think that ever since I became sexually active at 17

I've probably tried all the positions and activities at least once with more than a few partners, including mutual masturbation.

I've tried a lot of different methods, including inserting various things in my vagina when I was younger. 

This wasn't all that much of a sexual turn-on, other than it being kind of "naughty" and, other than my fingers, I very seldom use anything inside me when I masturbate. I've tried "humping" and when I was younger that was somewhat of a turn-on and I could make myself cum that way, but it took awhile. 

The shower massager definitely works for me, as do the water jets in a swimming pool. I've experimented with a few other methods - leaning up against the corner of a washing machine during the spin cycle (hey, it works!), rubbing against the arm of a sofa, electric toothbrush (that works pretty good, too).

I discovered toys about the same time I discovered my parents' library of sex books. My mother had a vibrator hidden under some stuff in her bedstand and it knew immediately what it was for. I remember that my reactions to this discovery were mixed...I felt guilty about snooping, aroused and, at the same time, I had a reaction of "ewwwww." I mean I knew that my parents had sex. 

They were pretty open about sex and on occasion I would hear them doing it - there was really no doubt about what the noises meant. But the idea of my mother masturbating and having a vibrator...well, that was a revelation. Yes, I did try it out (her vibrator) and it was just incredible. At the same time, I felt really weird about using it - I mean, it was my mother's! But that didn't stop me and I "borrowed" it on many occasions and couldn't wait to get my own.

When I was 17 I had a 21 year old boyfriend for awhile and he was only too happy to go into a sex store and get me my first vibrator. It was the same kind my mother had - the bullet-shaped battery-operated type - and I put it to good use. 

At the same time I was looking for something that was "stronger" and I was still 16 when I discovered what I consider to be the best toy of all, an electric massager (I now have two different ones).

This discovery came about when I was baby-sitting for a couple in their 30s who I thought were pretty hot and did a little snooping (OK, I know, that probably sounds really terrible and I guess it is, but I'll bet there are a lot of other people who have done it, too). 

I actually found it in their bathroom - it was called a "muscle relaxer." Well, of course I had to plug it in and when I started it, holding it against my hand, I knew instantly that I absolutely must see what it was like in other places (like my clit). At first I just held it against my cunt through my jeans and that was just intense enough to make me want to find out what this thing could really do.

Well, as you can probably imagine, it took me about 2 secs to get my jeans and panties off and when I touched the massager to my clit I about went through the roof. I had never felt anything so intense in my entire life. 

By this time I had been sexually active for a couple of years (longer than that if you don't count just intercourse) and had experienced fingers, tongues, cocks and, of course, my vibrator. 

None of them even came close to the intensity of the sensations I felt with that massager. I came not once or twice but what seemed like innumerable times, one after another, until I couldn't cum any more.

The massager was a "Magic Wand" and it is truly awesome. 

The only thing is that it was a little bit noisy and kind of big to be able to hide easily. I wanted one of my own so badly, but there was just no way I could figure out how to get one and keep it hidden. If my mom had found it I would've died of embarrassment. 

But I babysat for this same couple on the average of once a week and the massager got a good workout every time. There was also a hand-mirror there that I could use and many times I used it along with the wand and the experience was fantastic. Part of the thrill was doing something so "naughty" - using another woman's sex toy - and I definitely enjoyed myself.

OK, back to the mirror thing for a minute...I've made use of mirrors in several different places. 

Dressing rooms in stores for one, especially those that have a bench you can sit on facing the mirror. Usually I'll only do it if the dressing room has a door, not a curtain like in a lot of places. 

Once I took the chance with a curtain and almost got caught...a woman walked by and I could see her feet as she stopped for a few seconds outside the dressing room I was in and I suddenly realized that she could probably see me reflected in the mirror. 

I was tempted to just go ahead and finish (I've had a lot of fantasies about being caught and whoever it was that caught me joining in) but I chickened out and was dressed and out of there in about 2 minutes.

I've masturbated in many other places, and on two occasions that I can remember, more to be just a little wild more than anything else, I've used a makeup mirror - in a ladies room once and once in a secluded area in a park. 

I was sitting with my back against a tree, wearing jogging shorts and just started feeling horny. So I took my mirror out of my purse and pulled my shorts aside and went for it.

Other places? A lot, really. In front of the full-length mirror in my dorm room last year (I was a freshman and had to live on campus), but that was always kinda risky because my roomie might walk in any minute.

I don't want to give the impression that the only times or ways I masturbate is when I can watch myself. Actually, that's only a really small percentage of the time. I usually masturbate at least once a day, pretty often more than that. I have a boyfriend and we do it in front of each other a lot, too. 

One of these days I hope that I can experience my fantasy of doing it with another girl. In the meantime, the "other girl" will be in the mirror, doing it right along with me.

Next Time You Masturbate, Just Think...

• There are about 6 billion people on the planet, half are women = 3,000,000,000
  
• Five out of seven are of an age where they are likely to masturbate, or are at least able to = 2142857143
• About 60% of women masturbate (source Kinsey etc) = 1285714286
• Women seem to masturbate about twice a week on average (our survey and reading around) - 2571428571 sessions starting per week.
• = 734693877 sessions starting per day, or 30612244 per hour, or 510204 per minute, or 8503 per second (That must mean 8500 female orgasms per second in the world!)
• An average session (excluding multiple orgasm women) lasts 4 minutes (source Kinsey) so 2040816 women, on average, are masturbating at any time....

SO YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!

Female Masturbation: Risky Practices

The Internet is full of masturbation ideas and techniques for girls and women to try out for themselves. Unfortunately many of these ideas are probably little more than male fantasies, put up by males for their own entertainment, rather than for our enlightenment. 

This would not be a problem if the ideas put on the net were all safe but this is not the case and there has to be a real danger that someone is going to hurt themselves if they try to test out some of the things they read. 

For this reason we are providing some advice, not on does and don’ts, as its up to you what you do, but more on the risks and safeguards you should know about before indulging in some of the suggested activities.

The information given is not complete. Someone somewhere will have put up details of a practice we don’t yet know about and so by definition we can’t write about its risks. If you read about any unusual and potentially risky practices please let us know and we will do our best to hunt out and post any relevant information for you.

Water Play
 

The average tub, shower, and Jacuzzi, and yes, even the bidet, can be transformed in a place of masturbation bliss! Many sources describe the pleasure to be had from directing water jets from showerheads, faucet, Jacuzzis jets, etc at the genitals. The attraction is that the speed and stream style of the water can be controlled, which adds to making the experience more exciting. 

Provided the jet is directed onto the vulva and not into the vagina, the water temperature is not too hot or too cold, and if the water pressure is kept at a comfortable pressure, the practice is safe and fun. 

The risks come if these guidelines are not followed. Water play into which the jets are directed into the vagina can potentially cause damage and in some instances can result in a condition called an embolism, which is often fatal. 

If the water gets too hot, as can happen on many showers because someone else turns on a faucet else where in the house, puts you ate risk for a scalding burn. Lying under the facet can also add, but again be aware of the potential water changes in temperature.

"Using the water massager from the shower, I can control my orgasm by varying the water pressure on my clit."

"The water spilling out of the faucet directly on my clit relaxes me and eventually my orgasm comes in incredible waves."

"I love the feel of the water streaming from the showerhead onto my balls as I stroke my cock. I cum harder and faster."

Sex Toys
 

Whether you buy your toys from a reliable source, or create some of your own from things found around the house, sex toys need to be kept clean and hygienic to prevent infection. 

Rubber items, including dildos, gloves, sleeves off vibrators and even rubber clothing can harbor bacteria, but chlorine based disinfectants should NOT EVER be used on toys as this can throw off the good vs bad bacteria ratio in the vaginal canal. 

Remember to rinse after cleaning and dry the item completely before putting away. (Washing up after masturbating may not sound like fun but it will ensure your toys are safe and ready for the next time). For more information on the care and cleaning of sex toys, please refer to the Adult Toy Section.

"Adding a vibrator to my masturbation sessions has made my orgasms more intense and I love the control I have developed in using one."

"I use an anal vibrator which is held secure in my ass, and while it buzzes, I stroke my cock. The orgasms couldn't be any better."

Food And Vegtables
 

Bananas, carrots, cucumbers, and corncobs, are probably some of the commonly used sex toys, given that they are easily obtainable, have no stigma attached when buying, and promoted for use by all sorts sources. 

Many a girl or woman have enjoyed the experience of using such items as makeshift dildos but there are risks to be taken into account if you want to use them for masturbation pleasure. Any item to be inserted into your body must be cleaned thoroughly as many fruits and vegetables will have dirt, chemicals or yeast spores on their skins when purchased. 

Nothing should be inserted that could break and leave parts inside you. Items that are too short to leave a ‘handle’ when inserted to the required depth are a risk too. Additional risks come from the fact that some foods may leave sugars behind that could encourage yeast growth (thrush).

Eating the item after use is a matter of choice but it would be safest to wash it thoroughly before consuming it, given the slight risk of bacterial infection. (Anally inserted items are obviously more dangerous than vaginally used items.)

"I have been using cucumbers for years and find them to be the easiest, cheapest, and safest item to use. People just think I love salads!"

"I use carrots for anal play and simply throw them away when I am done. I have been doing this since I was a young teen."

Anal Insertion
 

Dildo and object insertion into the rectum can be pleasurable but there are dangers to be taken into account. 

Firstly, there is the risk of mechanical injury. If the dildo is too large or is not sufficiently lubricated before being inserted the anus and inner walls of the rectum may be torn or bruised. If the dildo is worked over enthusiastically, as may happen if a partner is using it on you the risk of injury is also increased. 

Secondly, there is the risk of losing an inserted item. If the object inserted does not have a flange or similar at the base it may accidentally be pushed in too far and become lost. Even strings attached to the object may not be enough to enable recovery and a visit to the hospital may be the only option. Thirdly, there is a risk of infection. 

Objects inserted have to be thoroughly cleaned before and after use. Failing to do this can result in bacteria from the rectum being introduced to other parts of the body where the object is used (vagina or mouth) and can lead to cross infection if you share the toy with a partner. 

It should be noted that most dildos and household items you may want to insert are porous and can harbor bacteria even after the surface is thoroughly washed. Silicone toys are safe but for anything else consider using a condom each time you play to stop the toy becoming contaminated.

"Adding anal play has greatly increased the sensation I get when I masturbated." (Male)

"My friend and I were playing one day and he inserted marbles into his ass. He ended up in the emergency room so they could dig them out."

Electric Shock
 
One of the most talked about sex toys (and for good reason) are the electric massagers. These things are great and are usually safe but you have to remember that electricity has the potential for being dangerous. 

Using any electrical device near or in water is especially dangerous; however there are some companies that advocate the use of the toys in the shower and this is total nonsense. Also, keep in mind that many of the personal massagers have a heating element to them, and this can be harmful to the genital tissues if over heated. 

Remember that some of the more popular lubrication jells are water based so if you like to lube up before using your massager keep the gel off the switch and out of any openings the massager may have.

It is also important to keep an eye on the condition of the massager and its wire components. 

Some women have massagers of 10 or more years of age and these are often hidden away in rough conditions where the wires can be damaged. If your massager is looking warn or damaged why not treat yourself to a new, safer one.

"The nice thing about my personal massager is no one really knows what I do with it late at night when I am all alone."

"My wife and I share her vibrator. Her clit gets a workout and then my balls. Sharing toys now is so much better than sharing them as kids."

ICE PLAY

Increasing references exist to the practice of putting ice cubes or Popsicles into the vagina or anus, or rubbing them on the clitoris. 

Ice straight from the freezer can be very dangerous. It is so cold and requires so much heat to bring it up to melting point that it can and will freeze liquids it touches and can stick to your skin. (Remember the scene in Dumb and Dumber with the ski lift pole and the tongue?) Tissue damage and days of pain are likely consequences of using ice of this temperature. 

Using ‘warmer’ ice, where it is already becoming wet and has not got that ‘smoking’ effect when in warm air, is less dangerous. If you want to try cold sensations on your body stick with ice of this type. Inserting ice is a different matter. 

If ice on your clitoris is uncomfortable you simply have to move it away but if you have inserted a cube, removal may be tricky or impossible, with the result that you would just have to put up with the discomfort/pain until the ice melted away on its own. Consider this before popping one inside!

"My husband and I tried using a Popsicle one hot summer evening, but unfortunately things never got going. The pain I felt after I removed the Popsicle from my vagina was unreal. Never again."

"I suck on ice then my husband's penis, then rinse my mouth with warm water. The change in temperature sensations on his penis send him right over the edge."

"I hold the ice over my wife's nipples and as it melts in my hands and drips on them, she seems to become more excited."

Bottles And Bulbs
 

Just like babies are known to put just about anything in their mouths, there are adults who will put just about anything in their vaginas and rectums for sexual pleasure. 

Don't. 

Common sense must prevail here or serious injury could result. You should never insert anything that has the potential to break into the rectum or vagina. This would include, but is not limited to bottles, wooden items, sharp plastic items, and metal wires. 

Sadly, the Internet is full of masturbation pictures in which items that are not safe are used for masturbation pleasure, which leads people to believe they are safe. 

An increasing number of these pictures and the related stories suggest that glass bottles and light bulbs make good dildos. These and any other brittle/fragile object can break easily which can lead to internal lacerations and bleeding. 

Just imagine the injury, pain and embarrassment that one of these things could cause if it broke during masturbation. 

It is much safer to stick with objects that cannot break and potential damage your insides.

"Finding things around the house to use was always a challenge and I know I used things that were dangerous."

"I once used a hairbrush with the bristles inside of me. I ended up with some bleeding that eventually went away, but it scared the hell out of me.

Vacuum Cleaner Masturbation
 

Many people have the idea of using the household vacuum cleaner to stimulate themselves to orgasm. 

A couple of things that need to be considered if this is an idea you want to try out: 

Hygiene: the vacuum will have been used to clean up dirt and dust and will be likely to harbor lots of things you would not really fancy on your genitals (dust mites, hairs, dust, cigarette ash, stuff off the bottom of people’s shoes and lots of bacteria). 

How a used vacuum could be made hygienic is beyond us so the only safe option would be to go for a new unit. 

Suction: if the head of the cleaner is put into contact with your skin while the motor is running it could cause a painful ‘love bite’.(hickey). NEVER, ever place your penis directly into the vacuum unit. 

The motor is run with blades and you could damage your penis with severe lacerations!

"I have put my cock in the vacuum tube, but I am not sure it added to the overall experience."

"I have heard some horror stories, so no thanks!"

Sensitizing Creams And Substances
 

The sex industry sells mild irritant creams that make the genitals feel hot or tingly. Such creams usually go under names like ‘Female orgasm cream’ and are, provided you are not sensitive (allergic) to them and you use them in moderation, reasonably safe to use. 

As a tip, if you are new to a cream first try it on as small an area of your vulva as possible and be ready to wash it off with cold water if the reaction is uncomfortable. Others advocate the use of other irritants on the genitals as a way of increasing sensitivity and pleasure. Substances such as ginger powder, toothpaste and muscle rubs are suggested. 

There are potent chemicals, which can give a long lasting and intense irritation to the sensitive tissues, so their use should only be contemplated if you are prepared for the possibility of significant pain and discomfort. 

Be careful!! Know what the product does and it is potential side effects.

"I accidentally discovered that Vicks cream can add a 'spark' to my clit when rubbed. I use it, but only a tiny, tiny dab."

"I have used one of the creams that say my orgasm will be more intense. I was robbed. I felt nothing different except my vagina felt hotter."

Piercing
 

There is quite a fad for body and genital piercing and pictures of those that have had it done are all over the Internet. Claims that having labial, clitoral and nipple piercings gives sensual pleasure are common. 

Maybe they do and maybe they don�t but if you are considering finding out for yourself, remember the following: 

Piercing is only really safe when done by an expert and when recommended hygiene and aftercare rules are followed. If you go to a �backstreet� practitioner the risk of infection is high with hepatitis, septicemia and even AIDS being possible risks. Doing it yourself is also risky. 

You would have to get sterile and noble(gold or platinum) jewelry, you would have to take care of any infection risk from the tools used and from bacteria on or around the area to be pierced and you would have to ensure bacterial and fungal infections could not take hold while your wounds heal. 

On top of this is the likelihood that doing it yourself would be painful, slow and possibly would not give such a pleasing result as would a professional. If you still want to have body jeweler, take our advice, get it done by a registered professional.

Anorgasmia - If you can't orgasm through masturbation then read this.

It seems that just about everywhere you look these days there is information or stories about how to have more intense orgasms, how to have multiple orgasms or how to have a 'G' Spot orgasm with ejaculation. 

It would be easy to get the impression that with so much attention being given to attaining these higher levels of performance that everyone must have learned how to masturbate to a 'simple' single clitoral orgasm long ago. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth. 

Many women would desperately love to be able to have an orgasm of any description and by any means as they have never had a climax, have only achieve one on rare occasions or have some how lost the ability to climax. This section lays out some advice to these women to help them discover or rediscover the pleasure of being orgasmic.

Our Starting Point
 

There are many reasons why a girl or woman may be unable to have an orgasm when she masturbates (technical term is anorgasmia). Basically put though, all these reasons can be grouped into three classes. 

These are medical, where there is an underlying cause for which medical help should be sort; physical, where its a case of ineffective physical stimulation being the cause; and mental, where its mental attitude or generally low arousal levels that are the problem. 

The next three links will provide you with information on the three types of causes of anorgasmia.

Medical problems

Mental arousal

Physical stimulation

Some Final Thoughts
 

Through these pages we have tried to give some basic information as to how anorgasmia, no matter what its cause, can be tackled. These are not instant fixes though, and you will have to work at resolving your problem over time. 

Do not be put off if it takes a while though, as published research shows high success rates among women dealing with this problem and the end result should be well worth the efforts!! 

If there are any further pieces of information you would like to see on these pages that could help you overcome anorgasmia please let us know. We would like to make the pages as useful as possible and your comments may well help us to achieve this aim.

Female Masturbation: Techniques

Sooner or later the majority of us learn to achieve an orgasm from masturbatory activity of some sort or another. Once we find a way of 'getting off' it can be the easy option to stick with that method all the time. 

Though that may be fine if all you want is a surefire orgasm, 'variety is the spice of life', and a few alternative techniques may just add something to your fun. In this section we have recorded a whole range of techniques that we have tried or which we have heard of and think sound practical and fun. Feel free to try any or all of them, add to them if you want and, of course, let us have details of your special ways of getting off.

The simple truth is there are as many different masturbation techniques as there are women masturbating, and that's more than you might think!! If you've never tried to masturbate before then I suggest you begin by using what you have at your fingertips, umm, your fingertips, before moving onto more advance techniques and spending your hard cash on sex toys.
 

Toys are great but I personally think there is no better way to explore yourself than with your own fingers, after all you expect your partner to!

Fingers

Most girls probably first discover masturbation by innocently touching their genitals with their fingers. Its therefore probably not surprising that hand and finger stimulation of the vulva and clitoris is reported to be the most common method of masturbation among women. 

It is also the easiest as nothing extra is needed for a satisfying session. So how to best do it. Nothing is ever as simple as 'one best way for all' so some real life examples picked up from various sources is possibly the best way of illustrating what is involved:

Lying on the bed facing up with legs together and ankles crossed. Index finger slipped between the labia majora so that it presses along the length of the clitoris. 

Gentle but firm wrist movements to make the inserted finger rub the clitoris in up and down, side to side and circular motions. Speed and strength of movement increased as excitement builds. Sensations increased by squeezing thigh muscles together at same time as finger rubbing clitoris.

Lying on back with legs drawn up and knees allowed to flop apart. Palm of hand placed on pubic mound and fingers allowed to rest on open vulva. Movement of hand to stimulate clitoris in side to side, up and down, circular and gentle pinching movements.

Lying face down on bed with both hands underneath and between legs. Fingers pressed against vulva and clitoris. 

Pelvic thrusts to move the genitals up and down against the fingers.

Sitting in a comfortable chair with legs well spread. Taking clitoris between the tips of both index fingers, rolling it around and pulling back on its hood to get maximum stimulation.

Water Play.

Who would have thought that two chemicals, namely hydrogen and oxygen,could be used to give you as a female pleasure, but it's true there are more ways to masturbate in water than you might think. Think bath tub here, think shower and think Jacuzzi/hot tub. All three can be used to great effect in the wonderful world magic kingdom of clitorial massage.

Shower
 
Let's look at the most common technique which involves the use of that neat little tool, the shower head. 

The hand held kind are especially useful for this approach. The first thing you want to do is adjust the temperature so that it is not too hot for the sensitive area of the vagina. You can always turn up the heat once you are accustomed to the temperature. 

Then find a comfortable position - either sitting on a seat within the shower, or lying down in the tub. Shower stalls can be a bit confining for this form of masturbation, but there is usually enough room to sit on the floor with your legs bent. 

I suggest for the first time that you do this that you not stand. I've found that when I'm nearing climax that my legs tend to weaken, and we don't want any unnecessary trips to the emergency room when you accidentally slip and fall.

Now, take the shower head and let the water spray over your body, feel the tingling sensations as it sprays against your breasts. Imagine the sensations are being created by the hands of your lover and spray where you want to feel the touch. Slowly make your way down your torso to your vaginal area. 

Spreading your legs, let the water reach up and down the insides of your thighs, and when your ready for advancing, move it closer to your clit. Remember that direct contact with your clit may be overpowering, so try moving the water stream back and forth. Try bringing it closer, and moving it farther away to cover a larger area.

You also might note that shower massagers come with many different settings to adjust the streams of the water - everything from mist to pulse. Experiment, try them all! Start with the lightest amount of pressure and work your way up. 

If you are sitting, you can always operate the water with one hand, and use the fingers on the other hand to either stimulate your breasts and nipples, or you can insert a finger or two and see how that feels.

The main point is to relax and let your body feel all that is happening to it. If it feels good, keep doing it. If it's not right, try sitting in a different position, change the water temperature, try a different pulse setting anything that makes if feel better.

Bath Tub
 

Now we can move onto the bathtub. Like the shower head the bathtub holds many ways to excite and masturbate. Many women, myself included, enjoy lying on their backs in their bathtub and allowing the water from the faucet to wash over their vagina. This isn't always the easiest of positions to achieve but it can be great fun.

Fill the tub with water about halfway. Lie on your back, and bring your buttocks up so they are against or almost against the end of the tub with the faucet. Position your vagina as directly below the faucet as possible. Adjust the temperature and pressure of the water flow to your liking; you might have to tilt up your pelvis to bring your vagina closer to the water flow of the faucet. 

It might help to use one or both hands to spread open your labia (vagina "lips") so the water can flow directly onto your clitoris. Just one word of warning here, make sure the water isn't too hot! 

There is nothing worse that scolding your pussy and it certainly isn't pleasurable. Once you have found the right position, lie back, relax, fantasize, and enjoy!

"Occasionally I bring myself to orgasm in the bathtub. First I excite myself with fingers, and then I let the water on and get into an acrobatic position so my vagina is directly under the faucet. I start with the water warm or cool and at a low pressure on my clitoris. When I have gotten excited I run the water harder and lift myself closer to the water and let it pound into my vagina and then I come and it's the most fantastic feeling."

Another technique that can be fun involves filling an empty detergent bottle (one with a nozzle) or shampoo bottle with warm water. Sit in a full bath tub, ensuring your vulva is at least a couple of inches under water. Put the nozzle of the bottle as close as you like to your clitoris and squeeze. 

After each squeeze the bottle will spring back into shape, sucking in more water so there will be no need to stop for a refill.

Jacuzzi/Hot Tub
 

If your lucky enough to own a hot tub/Jacuzzi,then the chances are you're already aware of the wonderful effects that the water that flows from it's jets can have on your body. I like to begin by simply relaxing in the tub and allowing the water to wash over me. 

At this point I'll open my mind and begin to fantasize, sometimes touching my breasts, other times just lying back and relaxing. 

Once my mind is aroused, I'll turn towards the water jets and position my vagina clitoris so it's directly in the path of the flowing water. A word of caution here: Never position yourself to close to the jet, as the flow of water is normally very strong from these jets. 

Begin by placing a fair amount of distance between yourself and the water jet and then move closer until you discover a spot that places just the right amount of pressure on your clitoris. Once you've found the right position, relax and enjoy the soothing sensation of the water as it washes over your body. 

Vibrator Play
 

For those of us that take rather a long time to reach orgasm, continued manual stimulation becomes quite tiring and wrist fatigue has probably prematurely ended countless masturbation sessions for many women. If this is the case then the answer could well be to make the very small investment required to buy a vibrator.

When it comes to vibrators there are basicaly two types. Those operated by batteries and those that require mains electric. Whichever type you choose it's important to realise that both types are powerful although in general the mains electric ones more so.

It's a good idea not to use a vibrator directly on your clitoris the first time you ever try one because of this. 

You might well find that the stimulation they afford is too intense, so I'd suggest that you first try placing it on your labia or your mons. You may even want to try using it whilst you have your panties on as this can produce a different more subtle sensation than direct clitoral contact. Don't be afraid to try new things, they aren't called sex toys for nothing. The idea is to have fun and find what works for you personally.

One thing that is often over looked when people first try vibrators is lubricants. Just simply adding a small amount of lubricant on your choosen toy before you begin playing can greatly enhance your experience. Just be sure that the lubricant is sutiable for use with the vibrator of your choice. For more information on Vibrators and their use I suggest you visit the Adult Toy Section at SeductionEmporium.

Apart from commercially shop brought vibrators there are other vibrating devices that you could press into service for fun. For example, the back of the head of an electric tooth brush is great fun. The fact that it is really narrow allows it to be kept on the clitoris even if you like to squeeze your legs while you play. Automatic washing machines during spin cycle - if you can sit on it - are great. 

Electric shavers can be fun too, but you have to cover the cutting head. (I used this method as a girl at home several years ago. I would remove the cutting screen and would use sticking plasters to wrap the cutting head to make a padded surface with which to stimulate myself.) - 

Look around, you will find loads of things that vibrate in kitchens, bathrooms and garages and many can be used to masturbate, provided there are no sharp or moving parts that could hurt you.

Thigh squeezing

Some women can achieve sexual pleasure -- even orgasm -- by simply squeezing or rubbing their thighs together, thus indirectly stimulating the clitoris. This technique can even be used in public! Without risk as there is nothing to show what you are doing and you can remain fully dressed! Long bus ride? Boring desk job or classroom? No problem!

Suggestions for getting started: 

When masturbating at home, make it a habit to press together your thighs when you orgasm. 

After that becomes second-nature, press your thighs when you can't stop yourself from having an orgasm (but haven't yet), and then pull your hands away -- leave it up to your legs to ride yourself over the top. You're bound to have a few frustrating flameouts, but the practice is worth it. 

Eventually, with the help of fantasy and association, you'll be able to proceed using only your thighs from earlier and earlier in the masturbation process.

Some women seem to prefer "riding the seam" of jeans; others like the greater closeness of hose or bare legs under a skirt or dress. Experiment to find what works for you.

"Rythmically squeezing your thighs is intensely pleasurable, even if you don't orgasm. And when you do......well, it is amazing. Especially if you are in a place where you could get caught!"

"I am so sensitive I do not even wear pants, only skirts and dresses. I have to sit squeezing myself with my thighs to keep some control over the sensation when I sit down. it really is a problem to be turned on all of the time."

Dildo play
 
A word of warning here. Care should always be taken when inserting any object into yourself. 

Excessive size or over enthusiastic movements can cause internal bruising or worse. Small objects or items that can break or shed parts can cause real problems, such as cutting or internal losses, both of which could require medical assistance to fix. Hygiene too has to be considered. 

Any germs on an inserted item are going to get into you and could cause infections of various types, it is often a good idea to place a condom over your choosen object. So be warned, if you want to insert something make sure it's safe.

Whatever you choose to insert, it will technically be a dildo, as dildo is the name for a substitute penis used for penetrative masturbation. For this reason we will just use the word dildo but you can read it as being whatever you have to hand (hair brush handle, carrot, candle etc..). 

First off, try to ensure your vagina is well lubricated, either with natural juices or some fporm of lubrication such as astroglide. Take it easy with the insertion, especially if the object you are using is larger than say a couple of fingers in diameter. 

Moving the dildo in and out gives a pleasant feeling but experiment with stirring actions and trying different angles of insertion. An angle where the head of the dildo is going to rub up the front wall of your vagina may be especially nice for you (it rubs on your 'G' spot). 

Working the dildo only takes one hand so it may be fun to use the other elsewhere, such as on your clitoris. This is the most likely way to have an orgasm as few women orgasm from vaginal stimulation only (though it is nice). It can also be fun to combine a didlo with a vibrator at this point as well, or perhaps invest in the type of dildo that also vibrates.

As with all masturbation the key is to be comfortable. A few positions that may suit you include:

Standing with one foot raised on something like a chair so that you can get access.

Lying on the floor or on a bed with both legs drawn up and knees spread

Kneeling with knees wide apart. This can be enhanced by having a soft chair to lean forward onto. If the dildo is long enough to touch the floor and be inside you at the same, this can be an especially nice position, as pelvic thrusts will move the shaft inside your vagina without you needing to use your hands at all leaning back against a wall with your legs spread.

Dildos can also be used externally to good effect, especially the softer latex/silicone types that are commercially available. To try this option grease up your dildo with plenty of lube, place it in a flat surface that you can straddle (pile of cushions, arm of a sofa, edge of a bath tub etc) and sit on it so that it runs the length of your vulva from clitoris to anus. 

Slide your body back and forth so that your weight pushes your clitoris and other sensitive parts down onto the shaft as it slides through between your labia majora, and slide to and fro. If this becomes tiring then hold the position, grab the end of the dildo that is sticking out the front and work it back and forth against yourself.

It is worth considering issues of dildo size, especially if you are going to spend on a commercial one. First don't believe the myth that bigger is always better. The best is the one that suites you and that may be a long thin one, a short fat one or a long fat one (especially for those of us that have had children). 

You're no less of a woman if you want a small one or more of one if you want a king-size tool. It should be kept in mind that narrower shafts are easier to insert and allow faster stroking, whereas thicker ones take more inserting and are usually harder to work in and out, though they do give a pleasant 'stuffed' sensation. 

The bottom line is be realistic in deciding what you need and what you can handle before you buy, unless you can afford a selection!

Humping
 

Humping is thrusting your genitals against something hard or at least firm. Some examples of this include:

Sliding along the edge of the bath tub.
 

Sitting on a pillow or cushion or similar and rocking the hips back and forth. Lying face down with something like a chair leg pressed up against your vulva. Thrusting up and down to cause your clitoris to rub on the leg. A nicely shaped leg, with ridges etc, can be very pleasurable.

Floor riding.
 

Strip off and lie on the floor face down. It works best if you are shaved down there but it works if you are hairy too. Press your pubic bone into the floor as hard as you can and rock your body like you are trying to crawl but don't work hard enough to actually move from the spot. The flesh on your pubis will be alternately pulled tight and made slack. 

This transmits to your clitoris through the outer lips and feels great after a minute or two. (Extra bonus - it is a good exercise for your waist too)

*******

There is a range of techniques that all involve moving a cord or something similar back and forward along your vulva. Some examples:

Take a stocking or a pair of tights and hold the foot in one hand behind your back, let the fabric drape between your legs and hold the other end in your other hand at the front. The material should then be pulled up into the crotch so that it works into your vulva. Pulling it gently backwards and forwards causes it to stimulate your clitoris in a divine way. (PST: silk stockings are so much nicer than nylon for this!)

Using a cord off a dressing gown or a length of ribbon in the same way as detailed above is also fun. If the ribbon is to be specially purchased for this sort of play, try and get one about an inch wide and a yard long. One with the little edge loops is also worth considering. If its an option, try oiling the material up before playing by rubbing a little lubricant along it's length.

A long bead necklace or a synthetic pearl string can be great for this too. The knobs feel great as they slide by.

Tie a cord/ribbon/etc between the backs of two chairs so that it is suspended at crotch height. Step across, position the cord along your vulva and walk back and forward

Tickling
 

Masturbation need not be a hurried thing. If you have plenty of time, the excitement can be built up to amazing levels, and orgasms made stronger, if you go really slowly and tease yourself to a climax. The secret of this is light stimulation rather than the direct/intense stuff discussed earlier. A few personally tested ways of doing this are given below.

Makeup brush
 

The very large and super soft round headed brushes that are designed for putting on powder foundation make wonderful masturbation tools. First wash yourself well and dry your clitoris and vulva thoroughly. 

Then, spread out on the bed/floor so that your vulva is wide open. This is one technique where being shaved can be an advantage.With very light flicking strokes tickle your clitoris and inner lips with the bristles of the brush. Stay away from your vaginal entrance as it will probably be/become moist and this moistness will collect on the brush and spoil the delicate stimulation it gives. 

Important - after a while the sensitivity of your clitoris will increase and you will feel like finishing yourself off quickly. Don't be tempted. The longer this stage lasts the greater the tension will be when you do cum and so the more explosive the climax. No matter how badly you want to drop the brush and finish yourself off quickly stick with the gentle flicking. It will get you there eventually and the journey is sooooo nice!!

Feather
 

A nice long quill, as long as it is clean, can be great fun. Apart from the flicking and brushing actions described above you can also enjoy a pulling the feather along your vulva like an extension of a single finger. As the feather is less susceptible dampness than a brush you don't need to keep away from your vagina so much. The great thing is that as you get more aroused and feel like pressing on harder the feather simply flexes and so the level of stimulation stays the same.

 
Conclusion
 
As was stated at the begining of the techniques section, there is no wrong way to masturbate. If you try something and it doesn't work for you then I suggest you try another but don't give up the first time you try. We live in a society that tells women that they must be missing out on something if they don't achieve orgasm.