Overcoming the 1st Time Toy Jitters

Many people are surprised to discover that when I started as a Consultant over 25 years ago that I was a single mother of four who had never even owned a bedroom toy. The only experience I had with a lubricant was at my Gynecologist’s office during annual exams and that doesn’t necessarily put you in the mood!

It’s so common for people to be uncomfortable when it comes to learning about or trying bedroom accessories for the first time. During our Valentine’s Day Warehouse Sale last week, I was able to get the once-a-year opportunity to work with the public directly again and it really makes me laugh quietly to myself – mainly because I remember myself taking the journey from not knowing a single thing about intimacy products to becoming much more familiar about how they can help in relationships.

There are so many people who still carry many fears when it comes to toys; one in particular that was very common at the Pure Romance Sale was men who feared that a toy would replace them. They can be very intimidating with all the bells and whistles and it may seem hard to compete with a ‘Bionic Man’. Not to mention, like the Energizer Bunny they keep going, going and going and the only time they usually give out is when the batteries finally die! However, there is absolutely no truth in this. A bedroom toy can never replace the satisfaction and intimacy one can gain from human touch.

They can be great tools to help a woman learn more about her body (especially clitoral vibrators, since studies show that up to 75% of women can only climax from clitoral stimulation). Other products like the Pulsa Bath Ball are discreet and unintimidating and offer the dual purpose of an exfoliating bath sponge and a sensual all-over massage

Bedroom accessories can also be a wonderful aid in leveling the playing field between men and women – after all, like I’ve always said, women are like crock-pots and men are like microwaves – sometimes women need a little help catching up with men. Or, in the case of Erectile Dysfunction, for example, there are stimulators that can help the man become more aroused and C-rings and lubricants that can help him to stay erect and meet his partner half way. Additionally, as I mentioned in a recent blog, toys can also help a partner going through a grieving process (whether it be break-up, divorce, or death) to keep from jumping into a faulty relationship out of loneliness.

Another question we received from 1st time toy users was a frequently asked question from women on how to incorporate a toy into the bedroom. One of my favorite suggestions helps alleviate a lot of nervousness and incorporates some foreplay in the process. Using a vaginal vibrator in the Super Deluxe Mitten, such as the Velvet Touch, will enhance the massage for you or your partner and is a great segue into the conversation regarding vibration during lovemaking or stimulation, in general.

Whatever you decide, there is a wide selection of products that can bring a great deal of enhancement to any relationship!

Written by Patty Brisben the Owner of Pure Romance

Accepting the “Odd Couple”

How many times have you been in a mall or the grocery store and saw a couple affectionately strolling along, yet wondered, “How in the world did those two get together??” It may be your May-December romance or just your everyday Odd Couple, but whatever the case there’s usually some bystander looking on with a creased forehead and a raised eyebrow.

I just got to thinking about this after the recent hoopla surrounding this past season of ABC’s The Bachelor. There aren’t many people who have missed the media circus around Jake Pavelka and his fiancée Vienna Girardi with many people passing judgment on whether he chose the right girl or if it is even for real.

Although Reality Television is seldom real, it does raise one important point when it comes to love and romance, and that is who are we to judge the unique chemistry that drives two people to fall in love or even lust, for that matter? One thing that struck me while I was watching the Bachelor finale post show was when Tinley asked why if he loved her he felt something was missing. His response was that “there just wasn’t that spark”.

When it comes to intimate relationships we know often know our partners in a way that is so different from any other person. There is no way to describe it, package it, or even understand it ourselves, at times. This is especially true for those of us who have found ourselves head over heels in love with a person who doesn’t even remotely fit our idea of our “physical type”. Superficial things that may have turned us off in the past, such as a beard, a paunch stomach, a certain hair color, etc., can all fall to the wayside when raw chemistry steps up to the plate.

Even if I don’t necessarily agree with Jake’s decision or if they, like many Bachelor couples in the past, fail to live happily ever after, the important thing is if they are staying true to their feelings; you can’t let what others think affect your relationship – especially when it comes to matters of the heart! I do wish them the best and the same for any couple who is truly seeking pure romance.

So many are searching for (or already have) a connection with another human being and more than anything they are looking to bond on a deeper level. When you’ve found that feeling it’s even more important to nurture it; that’s what’s so great about Pure Romance. We lose or bury that spark in bills, responsibilities, and day-to-day mundane activities in our life. One of the things we want to constantly remind people is to always take time to remember the feelings you had in the beginning (emotionally, mentally and physically) and foster them throughout your relationship! Just remember, when you find it, cherish it; it won’t grow on its own without any help from you and your partner especially as the years go by.

Below is a list of some offbeat couples (actual and fictional) through history that have surprised many whether it survived the test of time, or not…



Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher


Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood


Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller


Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson


Madonna and Jesus Luz


Jack and Rose (Titanic)


Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison


Romeo and Juliet (Romeo & Juliet)

Skin Care is Essential to your Sensuality

A great skin regiment is so important, which is why we were thrilled to recently incorporate these products into our line. We had actually been using the products from this set for several years prior to bringing it on as part of the Pure Romance line. Throughout our travels, We’ve had the pleasure of visiting some of the most renowned spas in the world and time after time the estheticians would refrain from recommending the facials!

They would tell me that whatever product I was using I needed to continue doing so. I also discovered that this same exact facial set was being sold in many of these upper-echelon spas for upwards of $350 and $400. Pure Romance is about offering high quality products at practical prices which is why we are excited to announce that we are offering this set for only $85. The set is made up of the products listed below. For more information on individual pricing, feel free to visit www.prchristina.com

• pH Balancing Facial Wash is a gentle, natural pH balanced cleanser created for all skin types and is specifically formulated to clean the skin and flush away dirt and pollutants without leaving alkaline residue. This assures a clean and radiant tone. It is ideal for make-up removal and may be used over the entire body.

• Refreshing Facial Exfoliator combines a natural blend of live enzymes and nutrient-rich herbal extracts that create a deep cleaning action that gently buffs away dead surface cells and embedded impurities that contribute to clogged pores, exposing healthy, vibrant-looking skin.

• Toning Skin Spritzer tones and enlivens the skin while softening the appearance of facial lines for fresh, silky soft skin. Can also be used as a refreshing spritz when dehydrated or travelling, as well as over finished make-up to set the color.

• Hydrating Vitamin C Serum contains a unique blend of Hyaluronic Acid, Squalane and Vitamin C that stimulates the formation of essential Collagen and Elastin, thus preventing and even reversing the effects of aging. If you don’t pamper yourself already, it’s time to start. Women are often so busy taking care of everyone else, we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves – and it shows! I can’t tell you how many women write into me every day and talk about how they don’t take care of themselves and how it directly affects their self-image and intimate relationships. I believe one of the best ways to increase excitement in the bedroom is to make time to pamper yourself.

We are so excited that Pure Romance has introduced this product and that we are able to give back to women and ensure that when they look in the mirror they will feel both healthy and beautiful!

Mis-Matched Libido's

Many couples email us every day regarding mismatched libidos. In addition to age, there are many things that may affect a man’s desire and arousal, including stress, anxiety, certain medications, specific medical conditions, relationship issues, exercise, diet, and more.

Your partner may find it helpful to use an arousal cream, which can heighten sensations in the genitals. The arousal cream that I would most recommend for your partner is "O"; it is our maximum strength arousal cream and is great for men to use. The active ingredient in "O" is menthol, and it will provide a cool, tingly sensation to the genitals, helping to increase arousal. To use, your partner should apply a pea-sized amount to his penis (some men do not like it applied to their testicles, and some men may want it applied only to the most sensitive parts of their penis).

Another recommendation is for your partner to use a male stimulator, which is a masturbation sleeve that men can use alone or with a partner. You and your partner can use a male stimulator during foreplay to increase his arousal. You can also use a male stimulator to provide your partner with pleasure during manual stimulation. Pure Romance has a full line of male stimulators that you and your partner can use during foreplay to help increase his arousal. I recommend that you use an open-ended product, such as Super Stretch Blue or a closed ended one like Joy Ride, as these products offer the most suction, which can help draw blood to the penis even faster. When using any of Pure Romance’s male stimulators, I recommend that you pair it with a thick, creamy lubricant, such as Whipped, or in your case, All Night Long, which has special sensitizers that can again help slightly increase his arousal.

Once your partner is able to get an erection, he can use a c-ring to help him maintain it. A c-ring is worn at the base of the penis during intercourse; the purpose of the product is to restrict blood flow in the penis, helping to maintain erections. Many of Pure Romance c-rings come with a clitoral vibrator for your added pleasure. The c-ring that your partner may most benefit from is Jelly Tool Belt, which is very restrictive (the restriction will help to maintain an erection even more). Jelly Tool Belt’s clitoral stimulator has seven different speeds and functions for your pleasure. When using Jelly Tool Belt, and any of Pure Romance’s c-rings, I recommend pairing it with a thick, creamy lubricant, such as Whipped, for added comfort and satisfaction.

Communication is extremely important in relationships, and I encourage you and your partner to also discuss this situation. It may be helpful to talk openly about the possibility of working through this issue together so both partners are satisfied with the amount of sexual activity that occurs. The two of you may find it helpful to read the book When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life by Sandra Pertot. I think this book may help to put you and your partner on the same page in regards to your wants and desires.

Pregnancy & Pleasures

Worries about safety during pregnancy are common...

What will happen if the woman has an orgasm? 
Will the thrusting of the penis harm the baby? 
Might sexual activity cause a miscarriage? 
Are there any products I can’t use during pregnancy?

In fact, there is no medical evidence that suggests that sexual activity during pregnancy does any harm whatsoever. 

The only times you are likely to be advised against having sex are:

• If you have had a tendency to miscarriage. Your health care provider might suggest that you avoid intercourse for the first three months, or at the times during those months when your period would normally have been due, as your hormone levels may be at their lowest then.
•  If you have a history of premature labor, you might choose to avoid intercourse during the later stages of pregnancy.
• If you have a low-lying placenta, your health care provider may suggest you avoid intercourse.

The baby is very well protected by the muscular walls of the uterus, by the bag of water, which has a cushioning effect, and by the mucus plug which seals off the neck of the uterus. 

No injury will occur during gentle, loving intercourse.

Women often experience mild contractions during arousal and orgasm, but these contractions are not powerful enough to start a labor unless it is imminent.

While sex won't start labor unless the woman's body is ready, nipple stimulation and intercourse are natural ways to help induce labor in late pregnancy if your baby is overdue. Semen can soften the cervix, and hormones released by nipple stimulation encourage the uterus to contract.

As far as concerns with product use, we recommend using a mild lubricant, such as Just Like Me or Sweet Seduction.  We also recommend avoiding the use of Like A Virgin, an alum based tightening cream, during pregnancy. 






Pregnancy is a wonderful time to experiment with massage and utilize the Erotic Massage Book.  It is a great way to pamper a woman during pregnancy and still feel sensual.  If you have any additional concerns about safety during pregnancy, always check with your health care provider. 

Premature ejaculation: What Can We Do?

Premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years. Most professionals who treat premature ejaculation define this condition as the occurrence of ejaculation prior to the wishes of both sexual partners.

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise duration for sexual relations and reaching a climax, which is variable and depends on many factors specific to the individuals engaging in intimate relations.

An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause for concern, but, if the problem occurs with more than 50% of attempted sexual relations, a dysfunctional pattern usually exists for which treatment may be appropriate.

Faced with involuntary ejaculation, most men try to distract themselves during intercourse, believing that by thinking about other things, they can trick themselves into lasting longer. Usually, that only makes things worse.

It is important for the man to not tune out his body. BUT TO TUNE INTO IT.

He needs to become more familiar with his different levels of sexual arousal. He also needs to recognize how he feels as he approaches ejaculation. Once he can recognize how he feels close to ejaculation, it's not difficult to make small sexual adjustments that allow him to remain highly aroused without ejaculating.

Sexual arousal is a four-phase process.

In the Excitement Phase, breathing deepens and erection begins.

In the Plateau Stage, erection becomes full and he will feel highly aroused.

When arousal builds to a certain point, the next phase occurs, Orgasm with Ejaculation Phase.

Then during the Resolution Phase, breathing returns to normal and erection subsides.

The key to ejaculatory control is to extend the Plateau Phase, to maintain arousal without triggering Orgasm and Ejaculation.

To learn ejaculatory control:
    * Don't use drugs or alcohol. They're distracting and they interfere with the self-awareness crucial to learning ejaculatory control.

    * Appreciate whole-body sensuality. Men often think sex happens only in the penis and only during intercourse. That view is a one-way ticket to uncontrolled ejaculation (not to mention erection problems, and women with those proverbial headaches).

The best sex involves head-to-toe arousal. Men learning how to approach -- but not arrive at – ejaculation, need to appreciate whole-body sensuality, the pleasure potential in every square inch of the body.

Whole-body sensuality releases tension. Tense bodies that have no other outlet often find release through involuntary ejaculation. But as you learn to appreciate sensual pleasure from head to toe, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off the penis, and he may last longer.

    * Whole-body sensuality means relaxation, but the "relaxation" involved in great sex is not the kind that includes an easy chair, a six pack, and Monday Night Football. It's the kind you feel after a hot bath or a good massage. In fact, bathing or showering together before lovemaking can help men relax and appreciate whole-body sensuality -- and last longer.

    * Breathe deeply. One very easy way to stay relaxed while making love is to breathe deeply. The body has a natural tendency to breathe deeply during sex. When men work to control their breathing, they often sacrifice ejaculatory control. Try breathing deeply. Let your breath go. Many men are amazed how much this one little change improves their ejaculatory control.

    * Start with masturbation with a dry hand. By varying how he caresses his penis, he can learn to stay highly aroused for quite a while without ejaculating. When he feels himself approaching ejaculation, simply back off a bit, stroke more gently or not at all, and stay aroused without ejaculating.

Then as he feels himself getting a little distance from ejaculation, return to more vigorous self-stimulation. Repeat this several times over several sessions. Approach the point of ejaculation, then back off. For most men, it doesn't take long to develop good ejaculatory control while alone.

    * Then encourage him to move on to masturbation with a lubricated hand. For most people, lubricants increase the sensual intensity of erotic fondling. Follow the same program: masturbate until he approaches ejaculation, and then back off. Repeat this several times over several sessions.

    * Once he has good control during masturbation, appreciates whole-body sensuality, and feels comfortable breathing deeply during lovemaking, then he is ready to try this with a partner. This is called the "Stop-Start Technique." First, encourage "stop" and "start" signals with his lover, for example, a light pinch or tap, or a tug on an ear.

    * Then, his partner strokes his penis by hand as he lies still. When he approaches ejaculation, have him give the "stop" signal. His lover immediately stops stroking and simply holds his penis gently, as he continues to breathe deeply and pays close attention to the sensations he is feeling. When he no longer feels close to ejaculation, have him give the "start" signal, and his partner should begin stroking him again. How many stops and starts should you do? Do what feels comfortable for you – there is no exact method that is perfect for everyone.

      Once he’s gained good ejaculatory control with his partner’s hand, try the same stop-start procedure with oral caresses.  Once he has gained good control orally, try intercourse. 

Here are some other suggestions for lasting longer:
    * The man-on-top (missionary) position can be fun, but it's harder for most men to control their ejaculatory timing, because they have to hold themselves up. Try making love with the woman on top. This position is more relaxing for men, and it often helps ejaculatory control.

    * It's important to understand that learning ejaculatory control takes time and practice. You may feel a little awkward along the way. Try to maintain a sense of humor about any accidental spills.

    * Finally, the program we recommend for learning ejaculatory control is very likely to provide your lover with greater sexual enjoyment--but not just because you last longer. Women generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented sensuality that includes the genitals but is not limited to them.

Women's main complaints about men's sexual style are that it's too rushed, too mechanical, too eager for intercourse, and that it focuses only on the breasts and genitals. Women generally feel that the whole body is a sensual playground, and can't understand why so many men explore only a few corners of it.

Like women, penises generally prefer leisurely, playful, whole-body, massage-oriented lovemaking. The rushed, penis-centered, intercourse-fixated sex style puts a lot of pressure on the penis, and leads to premature ejaculation.

But when men make love the way women prefer, whole-body arousal takes the pressure off the penis and he can last longer.

If you are still having concerns with premature ejaculation, please see your health care provider.  They may be able to provide you with another level of control, which may include taking medication. 

Lubricants 101

Why do we need a variety of lubricants?

For the same reason we need a variety of cosmetics - because every woman's likes are different, therefore what type of lubricant a woman will enjoy will be different.

A woman's needs vary depending on the time of the month, medications she is taking, type of intercourse she is participating in, the type of bedroom toy she is using, etc.

Lubricants can be the most critical item you buy – it can enhance both his & her comfort during intercourse.

Ask questions! Determine what lubricant will be best for you!!

Overall, no one type of lubricant Pure Romance offers is better than another.

Pure Romance offers several types of lubricants, including:

Water-based

Silicone-based

Oil-containing lubricants

Why water-based lubricants?

Safe for even the most sensitive woman a water-based lubricant does not stain

Is safe for use with latex condoms and all other barrier birth control methods, including:

Diaphragms

Cervical caps

They rarely cause irritation

Absorb naturally into the body.

AND they even have natural re-wetting qualities.

Pure Romance offers several types of water-based lubricants, including:

Just Like Me

Sweet Seduction

These lubricants are safe to use with ALL types of condoms.

Why silicone-based lubricants?

Silicone-based lubricants are completely waterproof! ....

Silicone-based lubricants:

Are ideal for underwater use.

Retain their lubricating properties better and longer than water-based lubricants

Are highly concentrated so a little goes a long way!

Are safe to use with ALL types of condoms.

Recommended for anal intercourse due to its long-lasting qualities.

An important note about silicone:

It CAN harm sex toys made from silicone, so use a different lubricant when using your bedroom toys.

Is not recommended for women experiencing extreme vaginal dryness, such as during and after chemotherapy treatment.  It does NOT absorb naturally in the body, so will not moisturize an extremely dry woman

Pure Romance offers a silicone-based lubricant: Pure Pleasure.

Pure Pleasure is safe to use with all types of condoms.

Pure Pleasure is also recommended for water or anal activities...

Why an oil-containing lubricant?

Oil-containing lubricants:

Are ACTUALLY water-based!

Have all-natural oils to enhance texture of the lubricant.

Are safe in the vagina, because they are water-based.

Oil-containing lubricants should be used with polyurethane condoms ONLY.

Oil in lubricants can break down latex so...

They should NOT be used with:

Latex condoms

Diaphragms

Cervical caps

Pure Romance offers two types of oil-containing lubricants, including

Sensations

Whipped

These lubricants are however safe to use with polyurethane condoms.

If you have any Questions please contact me.

Your Pure Romance Sexpert,

Christina Trejo

(708) 770-2657

www.prchristina.com