Mis-Matched Libido's

Many couples email us every day regarding mismatched libidos. In addition to age, there are many things that may affect a man’s desire and arousal, including stress, anxiety, certain medications, specific medical conditions, relationship issues, exercise, diet, and more.

Your partner may find it helpful to use an arousal cream, which can heighten sensations in the genitals. The arousal cream that I would most recommend for your partner is "O"; it is our maximum strength arousal cream and is great for men to use. The active ingredient in "O" is menthol, and it will provide a cool, tingly sensation to the genitals, helping to increase arousal. To use, your partner should apply a pea-sized amount to his penis (some men do not like it applied to their testicles, and some men may want it applied only to the most sensitive parts of their penis).

Another recommendation is for your partner to use a male stimulator, which is a masturbation sleeve that men can use alone or with a partner. You and your partner can use a male stimulator during foreplay to increase his arousal. You can also use a male stimulator to provide your partner with pleasure during manual stimulation. Pure Romance has a full line of male stimulators that you and your partner can use during foreplay to help increase his arousal. I recommend that you use an open-ended product, such as Super Stretch Blue or a closed ended one like Joy Ride, as these products offer the most suction, which can help draw blood to the penis even faster. When using any of Pure Romance’s male stimulators, I recommend that you pair it with a thick, creamy lubricant, such as Whipped, or in your case, All Night Long, which has special sensitizers that can again help slightly increase his arousal.

Once your partner is able to get an erection, he can use a c-ring to help him maintain it. A c-ring is worn at the base of the penis during intercourse; the purpose of the product is to restrict blood flow in the penis, helping to maintain erections. Many of Pure Romance c-rings come with a clitoral vibrator for your added pleasure. The c-ring that your partner may most benefit from is Jelly Tool Belt, which is very restrictive (the restriction will help to maintain an erection even more). Jelly Tool Belt’s clitoral stimulator has seven different speeds and functions for your pleasure. When using Jelly Tool Belt, and any of Pure Romance’s c-rings, I recommend pairing it with a thick, creamy lubricant, such as Whipped, for added comfort and satisfaction.

Communication is extremely important in relationships, and I encourage you and your partner to also discuss this situation. It may be helpful to talk openly about the possibility of working through this issue together so both partners are satisfied with the amount of sexual activity that occurs. The two of you may find it helpful to read the book When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life by Sandra Pertot. I think this book may help to put you and your partner on the same page in regards to your wants and desires.